Patient has a sore throat and goes to a doctor.
Doctor: Your tonsils gotta come out.
Patient: I wanna second opinion.
Doctor: Okay, you’re ugly, too.
Patient: Doctor, I have a problem. I feel unhealthy and depressed.
Doctor: You should cut down on drinks.
Patient: I don’t touch a drop.
Doctor: You should cut down on smoking.
Patient: I don’t smoke.
Doctor: You should stop taking drugs.
Patient: I don’t do drugs.
Doctor: You should cut down on womanizing or manizing.
Patient: Haven’t touched a woman or man in my life.
Doctor: In that case, get yourself a drink, learn to smoke,
do some drugs, and find a couple of girlfriends or boyfriends.
Patient: Doctor, I think I need glasses.
Teller: You certainly do. This is a bank.
Doctor: Did you know that there are more than 1,000 bones in the human body?
Tom: Shhh, doctor! My dog’s outside in the waiting room!
John: How can I lose twelve pounds of ugly fat?
Doctor: Cut your head off.
Have a good one!
Dee
(These are a little corny ;>0)
