[Anonymous July 9, 1998 at 9:38 am Post count: 93172]

#1148922

Thanks Dee for starting my Thursday off with a good laugh and a big smile! :>)
Jennifer

[Anonymous July 9, 1998 at 11:26 am Post count: 93172]

#1148923

That one had me laughing for 20 minutes!
I needed a good laugh this morning!
Thank You, DeniseD!

[Anonymous July 9, 1998 at 1:07 pm Post count: 93172]

#1050299

One Friday morning, a teacher came up with a novel way to motivate her
class. She told them that she would read a quote and the first student to
correctly identify who said it would receive the rest of the day off.

She started with “This was England’s finest hour.” Little Suzy instantly
jumped up and said, ” Winston Churchill.”

“Congratulations said the teacher you may go home.”

The teacher then said, “Ask not what your country can do for you.”
Before she could finish this quote, another young lady belts out, “John
F. Kennedy”.

“Very good” says the teacher, “you may go.”

Irritated that he has missed two golden opportunities, Little Johnny
said, “I wish those girls would just shut up.”

Upon overhearing this comment, the outraged teacher demanded to know who
said it. Johnny instantly rose to his feet and said, “Bill Clinton. I’ll
see you Monday.”

Have a nice day!
Dee

[Anonymous July 9, 1998 at 2:26 pm Post count: 93172]

#1148924

A friend just sent me this one I could not resist:)

A frog telephones the Psychic Hotline and is told, “You are
going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything
about you.”
The frog says, “This is great! Will I meet her at a party, or
what?”
“No,” says the psychic. “Next semester in her biology class.”

[Anonymous July 9, 1998 at 4:48 pm Post count: 93172]

#1148925

Another great tickler from our resident jokester, Denise!
Thank you again for perking up our day!

JustME

[Anonymous August 13, 1998 at 8:44 am Post count: 93172]

#1148926

Hmmmmmm!, Points to Ponder

-Why doesn’t Tarzan have a beard?

-It’s a dog eat dog world out there. And they’re short on napkins.

-Don’t sweat the petty things and don’t pet the sweaty things.

-One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.

-Atheism is a non prophet organization.

-If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys
and apes?

-The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the
bad girls live.

-Never trust a stockbroker who’s married to a travel agent.

-Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don’t.

-Is boneless chicken considered to be an invertebrate?

-It must be true that men are from Mars. Look at how the place has
deteriorated.

-On the other hand, you have different fingers.

-Married people don’t live longer than single people. It just seems
longer.

-I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, “Where’s the
self-help section?” She said if she told me, it would defeat the
purpose.

-If all those psychics know the winning lottery numbers, why are they
all still working?

Have a great day!
Dee

[Anonymous October 8, 1998 at 8:56 am Post count: 93172]

#1148927

THE COWBOY:
> >
The cowboy lay sprawled across three entire seats in the posh Amarillo
theatre. When the usher came by and noticed this he whispered to the
cowboy, “Sorry, sir, but you’re only allowed one seat.” The cowboy
groaned but didn’t budge. The usher became more impatient. “Sir, if
you don’t get up from there, I’m going to have to call the manager. The
cowboy just groaned.

The usher marched briskly back up the aisle. In a moment he returned
with the manager. Together the two of them tried repeatedly to move the
cowboy, but with no success. Finally, they summoned the police. The cop
surveyed the situation briefly then asked, “All right buddy, what’s
you’re name?”

“Sam,” the cowboy moaned.

“Where ya from, Sam?”

With pain in his voice Sam replied…. “The balcony.”

Well Happy Thanksgiving to my Canadian friends and Happy Columbus Day, to the
US, friends!

[Author]

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