[Anonymous October 1, 1998 at 3:11 pm Post count: 93172]

#1049787

A few years ago, Charlie Brown and the PEANUTS gang made a new friend
who developed leukemia in an animated special entitled, WHY, CHARLIE BROWN,
WHY?

Recently, MetLife has put out a series of instructional pamphlets which
feature the PEANUTS gang dealing with such issues as the loss of a
loved one, writing a will, and dealing with a permanent disability. Now that
Charlie Brown is dealing with important issues, how about some PEANUTS
specials for the kids of the ‘90s?

Chuck and the Little Red-Headed Girl find out about unwanted pregnancy
in,
IT’S BLUE, CHARLIE BROWN!

Is Linus gay? Find out in,
IT’S A DIFFERENT KIND OF LOVE, CHARLIE BROWN

Explore the real problems of child abuse in America in,
YOU MADE ME DO THAT, CHARLIE BROWN!

See how the PEANUTS gang deals with date rape in,
NO MEANS NO, CHARLIE BROWN!

Discover a father’s forbidden love in,
IT’S OUR LITTLE SECRET, CHARLIE BROWN.

Franklin speaks The PEANUTS gang gets a lesson in Ebonics in,
IMO BUSTA CAP INYO ASS, CHARLIE BROWN!

What goes on in the mind of a serial killer? Discover the inner workings
of Pig Pen’s twisted psyche and meet his murderous alter ego Mr. Clean in,
GOD TOLD ME TO DO IT, CHARLIE BROWN.

Charlie Brown peddles his body for crack money while stealing Social
Security checks and boosting automobiles in
GO BLAME SOCIETY, CHARLIE BROWN!

Have a great day !
Dee

[Anonymous January 7, 1999 at 4:55 am Post count: 93172]

#1147769

Great-aunt Bessie loved to visit her nieces and nephews,
seems she had relatives all over the country.
Problem was that no matter how much she enjoyed seeing them,
she hated flying. No matter how safe people told her it was, she was always worried that someone would have a bomb on the plane.
She read the books about how safe it was, and listened to the stewardess demonstrate all the safety features. But she still worried herself silly every time a visit was coming up.
Finally, the family decided that maybe if she saw the
statistics she’d be convinced. So they sent her to a friend
of the family who was an actuary.
“Tell me,” she said suspiciously, “what are the chances that
someone will have a bomb on a plane?”
The actuary looked through his tables and said, “A very small chance. Maybe one in five hundred thousand.”
She nodded, then thought for a moment. “So what are the odds
of two people having a bomb on the same plane?”
Again he went through his tables.
“Extremely remote,” he said. “About one in a billion.”
Aunt Bessie nodded and left his office.
And from that day on, every time she flew, she took a bomb
with her.

Have a good day!
Dee

[Anonymous January 28, 1999 at 1:08 pm Post count: 93172]

#1147770

The church steeple in Port Gibson is very high and was being painted on a rather hot day. The painter was about half way down and, as the steeple was widening out, was taking more paint. The painter felt that he might not have enough paint to finish. Since he was hot and tired, and did not care to make another trip to the ground, he decided to stretch the amount of paint by adding some paint thinner to it. When finished, he lowered himself to the ground and went about cleaning up. Then he looked up to see the results of his work and noted that the area with the thinned paint looked decidedly different. He was pondering about what to do about it when the sky turned dark and there was a lightning flash and loud thunderclap. Then in a loud, booming voice from the sky came the words, ” REPAINT AND THIN NO MORE !”

Have a nice day!
Dee

[Anonymous February 4, 1999 at 6:33 am Post count: 93172]

#1147771

A little girl and a little boy were at day care one day. The
girl approaches the boy and says, “Hey Tommy, wanna play house?”
He says, “Sure! What do you want me to do?”
The girl replies, “I want you to communicate your thoughts.”
“Communicate my thoughts?” said a bewildered Tommy. “I have no idea what that means.”
The little girl smirks and says, “Perfect. You can be the
husband.”

Have a great day!
Dee

[Author]

Posts