[Anonymous July 31, 1998 at 8:47 pm Post count: 93172]

#1148430

Dear Kristy,
I can’t give any insight on the stress on a marriage because I am not married. But I can say that Graves disease has pervaded my entire life (work life, personal life, social life…) Before I had the disease I would be able to deal with life like most normal people. I feel like now even trivial things seem difficult and my big problems (work stress, personal life decisions) seem unsurmountable. So I can only imagine what kind of affect it would have on a marriage. In one way I can imagine that being married would help me cope better but it sounds like you and your husband have alot of external stresses which will obviously compound everything. Good luck to you.
George.

[Anonymous July 31, 1998 at 11:10 pm Post count: 93172]

#1050073

My marriage is at an all time low. My life is
one big stress-fest AND I now have an illness to
deal with. My husband works nights and I work days.
He watches our 13 mo. daughter during the day. He
gets 2 days off a week, but they happen to be Tuesday
and Wednesday, days I work. So, we never see each
other. When we are together, we usually end up
fighting over stupid stuff. Our second major life stress is our financial
situation. We are barely getting by every month, with
this month being the very worst. I am behind on quite
a few bills, got a notice saying they were turning
our electricity off if I didn’t pay, got a call
from a credit card company, haven’t paid
my interent provider for 2 months…And then, to
top it all off, I have Graves’ disease!

I am not able to handle stressful situations like
I used to pre-Graves. It makes things 100 times
worse now. My husband has tried to be very supportive
of me and my illness, but it is hard because he
is depressed about working a crappy job, us having
no money, etc. Sometimes he gets really mad at me
and says he can’t take caring for our baby AND my
thyroid at the same time!

How has Graves been affecting your marriages?? Please,
if you have any good advice I would be happy to hear
it.

Feeling very frustrated right now,
Kristy

[Anonymous August 1, 1998 at 2:10 am Post count: 93172]

#1148431

Yes it can cause great stress on your marriage. Something I did was to show my husband this website so he could better understand that it was not just me that the disease actually affects moods, stress, etc. It must be very difficult for you. I had a thyroidectomy two weeks ago and my symptoms are almost gone! It’s amazing. Do something to resolve your situation with the Graves sooner rather than later. Good luck to your and your family.

[Anonymous August 1, 1998 at 12:02 pm Post count: 93172]

#1148432

Hi again Kristy
I’m sorry you are having such terrible problems. I can say that I too have had marital problems many of which stemmed from Graves. I think what really did it was the trouble I had communicating. It was<i am practicing now> nearly impossible to hold a conversation with me. I’m hyperthyroid and cannot concentrate and am easily distracted. During a conversation I would finish the conversation in my mind and move onto a new subject because my brain is going so fast. I would interrupt and if I did not interrupt I would try so hard to remember what I wanted to say durng the next natural pause in conversation that I could not also hear what someone was saying to me. Because of this my husband almost had an affair with another woman<he had some problems too-crappy job situation like your husband and the girl was a worker in his office that draws my blood each month,also my mother and daughter work in that office to compound the situation> and dropped this bomb on me when I was suffering most<so far> with this disease.
I truly feel for you. I can tell you there are better days ahead. It might do well to look into some of the programs that let you consolidate your bills and pay one smaller note each month. I do not know how this works and if it is detrimental to your credit or not.
I will have my first session with a psychiatrist Tuesday and will unload some of my burden. Perhaps a family member can help you with your baby in the meantime while you are having such a hard time.
God bless you,
Wanda

[Anonymous August 2, 1998 at 11:01 am Post count: 93172]

#1148433

Kristy,

I know what you are saying about the stress this disease can put on a marriage or relationship. Like someone else said, share this BB with your partner. This is truely what saved my relationship. Knowledge is power. The more we both knew about the effects of this disease, the more able we were to cope. It also helped reinforce the fact that I am not crazy and that there are many others experiencing the same things.

Best of Luck,
April

[Anonymous August 3, 1998 at 9:16 am Post count: 93172]

#1148434

Kristy,

I understand completely what you’re going through. Due to a lot of my irrational behavior caused mostly by Graves we almost lost our marriage. Through counseling and also my husband finally understand that it’s not me- it’s the Graves we are finally back to a relatively happy marriage.

It’s going to take him a while to understand. I know my ability to handle stress and decision-making was pretty nonexistent when I was feeling hyper. He used to get very angry at me but now he steps back a minute and thinks about it.

I had RAI in April and have now gone hypo so hopefully those kinds of behaviors are gone. But I still get the brain fog and will until my thyroid hormone levels get stable.

Things WILL get better – both you and your hubby need to give it time.

e-mail me anytime you like.

Another Warrior Mommy,

Emily

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