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  • Anonymous
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      That is such a great note, dc! The worst kind of pressure is the one we put on ourselves. (is there really any other?)

      It’s like there is just relief in your note, ahhhh, kick back. Take care of self!

      Love, B

        Post count: 93172

        Hey dianne, it sounds like a gift from graves. All the things you described are only as good as our relationship to them. I have a relative who always bakes at Christmas and tells us about all the aches and pains it causes her. she suffers right into those cookies and to me they don’t taste right. Won’t it be fun if you catch yourself doing something and realize, “why this is what I want to do!”

        have fun. P.S> are the Diane that tried to reason with DR. Stoll?

          Post count: 93172

          Hi Dianne! :) I too have decided to ease up on the holidays. I did do some decorating, but the Christmas cards will go out late this year (in fact we haven’t even ordered them yet) and I don’t care. Between stress at school and the never-ending snowstorms in Minnesota, I have taken the “one day at a time” attitude. A body can only do so much in a day. At this point, I’m satified if I can get out of my driveway and make it to town without getting stuck or going in the ditch! Monday and Tuesday we had early dismissals because of the weather. School is closed today. It’s 4 below and we have blizzard conditions. In my neck of the woods, the weather has a lot to do with my mood and productivity. Snow and GD doesn’t mix! This post seems to be going nowhere. So I’ll sign off – Frozen in the Northland, Debby

            Post count: 93172

            I have decided not to “do” Christmas this year. Having always been one of those women who worked full time and single-handedly held the world up, I’ve always “done” Christmas with great flair, shopping and decorating, mailing cards and long personal letters, baking and wrapping, and always spending way too much; in general trying to create the atmosphere for my children. Guess what? :) This year I haven’t done ANYTHING, and don’t plan to. My children are 16 and 20 this year, and if they want to decorate, they’re welcome to it, just so they put things back the way they found them!

            I believe stress is something we choose when we decide what we expect from ourselves. We are under no obligation to honor others’ expectations from us (that’s THEIR issue). Perhaps I will decide to buy a gift or two, or bake some cookies, and perhaps not, but it will be for my own enjoyment and not others’ expectations.

            Having Graves’ Disease has freed me to proceed along the path I was already walking, the one that takes me away from feeling responsible for everyone and everything. This year I’m choosing NO stress.
            Dianne N

              Post count: 93172

              Yep, Jeannette. . .I’m the Dianne who tried to “reason” with Dr. Stoll. I gave up in disgust and frustration. The man has a website and a question/answer bulletin board to promote his book and his healthcoaching business. I believe in accountability for accurate information on the Internet for “authority figures” such as doctors. This man is “full of it”.
              Dianne N

                Post count: 93172

                I envy you the ability to not do Christmas except as you feel like it.
                My therapist, over the phone today, told me much the same thing. Every
                one I talk to makes me feel like such a fool. I said last week how I
                was stressing cause I hadn’t got any presents yet and they stare at
                me like I was crazy. One says “I finished that in October.” Another
                says “I finished that last month.” Then, they say I better get crackin.

                I’ve sent two cards so far. I started writing a list yesterday morning
                and couldn’t stop crying. I got to my parents name and fell apart. My
                mother told me last week that she made a mistake 40 years ago. She
                should have left me in Washington DC instead of adopting me. She acted
                like it was some big favor that I was adopted when in fact it was very
                difficult to get an infant even in the ’50’s–at least that’s what they
                said before I became an outcast. My therapist says that she almost
                never recommends breaking ties with family, but my case is most likely
                an exception. It’s a long story and has to do with destroying my
                relationship to my daughter (birth to age 7) by telling her a pack of
                lies and instructing her to torment anyone (male or female) who comes
                into my life. Also, a lot of emotional abuse all my life.

                Merry Christmas. May it be stress free. I can’t wait until 1997. If
                I see one more “Family” Christmas commercial, I’m gonna shoot the TV.

                Linda T.

                  Post count: 93172

                  Diane….I am so impressed! I am still in denial about the amount of stuff
                  that I can do. I haven’t sent a Christmas card in two years. Now, I am a weird
                  puppy because, after the holiday, I usually buy a box for next year because they
                  are on sale….and I of course think that a whole year will pass and I will once
                  again be “Christmas wonder woman.” I have slowly learned to prioritize my activities
                  to what is really important….Not always successful, but I am getting alot better
                  at it! I like it….take care of yourself, …Carolyn

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