[Anonymous December 19, 1996 at 1:59 am Post count: 93172]

#1166484

LINDA , I CONSULTED WITH THE FINEST SEX MINDS
OF THE WORLD AND THEY CAME UP WITH THE
ANSWER TO YOUR QUESTION?

WHEN YOUR HOT YOUR HOT, WHEN YOUR NOT YOUR NOT.

GO WITH THE FLOW GIRL !

STEVE

[Anonymous December 19, 1996 at 2:00 am Post count: 93172]

#1166485

LINDA , I CONSULTED WITH THE FINEST SEX MINDS
OF THE WORLD AND THEY CAME UP WITH THE
ANSWER TO YOUR QUESTION?

WHEN YOUR HOT YOUR HOT, WHEN YOUR NOT YOUR NOT.

GO WITH THE FLOW GIRL !

STEVE

[Anonymous December 19, 1996 at 6:35 am Post count: 93172]

#1057618

I don’t quite know a delicate way to say this, but have people noticed
that their libido disappears once they start taking Tapazole? Sure, it
goes up at first when the hyper symptoms are eliminated. As soon as the
hypo symptoms take over, I have zero desire and zero lubrication. I’ve
been this way for several weeks now and my SO is ready to leave. I let
him have it one last time tonight. I told him a long time ago that if I
didn’t want to and I did it, I would never want it again.

[Anonymous December 19, 1996 at 9:36 am Post count: 93172]

#1166486

Linda,

I wrote a post a few weeks ago about GD and libdo. Go the the last 30 days
and read it. Sex and libido are not taboo on the BB. Explicit words and such
are (see the FAQ for the BB). You are not alone in what you are going through.
The lack of desire is very real and it is distressing for our spouses or SOs.
I gave some ideas on what to try that may get you in the mood (or not and that
is OK too) but read the post and let me know what you think. I have not gotten
any feed back on what I posted. I know it works for my wife and I but everyone
is different. As for lack of lubrication, that is a major problem. Meds can
cause that as can estrogin levels being off. I don’t want to come across like the
Dr. Ruth of GD but I have been where you are from a guys perspective. Try some
of the over the counter lubricants. The gels work well as does some of the
products for vaginal dryness work well too. Just remember sex is 90% mental and
10% physical. Where the mind goes the body will try and follow. Hope this works
out for you. I know it can cause distress between mates and even lead to divorce
and breakups. But!!! Read my post and let me know about what you think. Sex
with GD can be as great as it was before. It may not be as often but can be just
as good or sometimes even better because we have to “work” at getting in the mood.
Sex should never be seen as a chore but a gift of kindness and love to your mate.

Regards,
Jake

[Anonymous December 19, 1996 at 12:46 pm Post count: 93172]

#1166487

Ahem, take a deep breath and write, I say to myself

My wife has similar problems as you described (menopause) and it can certainly be challenging to a relationship.

I guess the big difference between us and my stud donkey in this matter is in our ability to communicate and reason (us men do become more like the donk at times tho, huh?) and we really must explore new avenues of communication that we sometimes avoid like the plague.

I think I have to remind myself that first of all, this is a partnership and your partner is hopefully your closest friend and cohort in life. I know I can tend, as a man, towards feeling like you women are “doing it to us” and we seem to have a hard time getting that you really have no choice, and that it can be a very painful problem for you as well.

Bottom line, the SEX DOCTOR (thanks for the chuckle Steve!) put it in pretty good words in his previous post.

Bruce

[Anonymous December 19, 1996 at 6:57 pm Post count: 93172]

#1166488

I don’t know how beta blockers, etc, effect men in this area. That could
be a problem, but as far as the taboo subject is concerned: Graves’ seems to
consume your thoughts and having good sex is one sure way to stop thinking
about it!!! I’m sure our partners get tired of hearing about Graves’
and probably would like to forget about it for a little while here and there.
Time together can really be a great escape and also help us to forget for a few.
And if you’re plagued with insomnia and want company, most husbands are happy to
comply!

[Anonymous December 20, 1996 at 9:17 pm Post count: 93172]

#1166489

Either after my GD started or after RAI, for a while I had no lubrication. But that only lated for a while Seems normal now. The libido on the other hand…….

[Anonymous December 20, 1996 at 9:39 pm Post count: 93172]

#1166490

I just had my synthroid dose lowered about a month or so ago (from
.15 to .125), because the blood work said I was border-line hyper,
and I have zero (0) desire. I could easily settle for a nice massage and
just go to sleep. Long hours at work and long hours at home don’t help.
I feel like I need more sleep too. I think my spouse wonders about this
but hasn’t said anything about my lack of libido in about 3 weeks. Any ideas
or am I just pooped from too much work?
-Mary Smith

[Anonymous December 22, 1996 at 10:57 am Post count: 93172]

#1166491

Been pondering your message, Jake, and all those posted a few weeks ago.
Just in case anyone needs instructions (yeah, right!) here’s what I came
up with.

1. 90% mental. Absolutely.
I felt pretty good yesterday, so instead of doing all the things for
Christmas that I haven’t been able to, I thought about my husband and
how much I loved him. I made up my mind that I would do everything I
could to give him the gift of a loving wife last night.

2. 10% physical. Right on. (Flower child!)
I took a long bath, took a nap, fixed the simplest supper I could think
of, and felt totally relaxed when he got home.

It still took me a while, but he was very patient since he knew I was
trying so hard. To make that long, wonderful evening a short story —
he went off to work this morning a very happy camper.

Info: there is a product called Astroglide. It’s the best lubricant we
have found. If your pharmacist doesn’t carry it, he can get it.

Tip: If your spouse or SO tells you they love you, tell them that you
love them more – and then list all the ways that you love them. Think
about it ahead of time. Not the ‘take out the garbage’ stuff. Tell
them about how loved they make you feel – like when they pay special
attention to you when others are around, give you a big hug when they
come home, etc.

I’m not Dr. Ruth either, but after 26 1/2 years of a marriage that has
been good, bad, good, bad, and now challenging, I’ve learned a few
things. Actually, one of the things I’ve learned recently is that there
is no way I can spoil my husband. No matter how much I try – doing
things for him, praising him, loving him – he always responds by doing
more for me, praising me more, loving me more. It’s a wonderful cycle!

Ever since we’ve been married, I’ve worked to the point of exhaustion
to make Christmas special for the children, family, and friends. I
now realize why my husband was crabby at Christmas – he was ignored.
Since I can’t do much for everyone this year, I’ve decided spend the
limited energy I have on my husband – and he got this huge smile when
I told him that! (Of course, this is easiest for empty nesters, but
there have to be some creative solutions out there for everyone’s
circumstance!)

Wishing you all a Joyous and Happy Holiday Season!
DonnaN

P.S. Annette, if this is too explicit, feel free to jump in and
delete and/or edit it. I wasn’t sure how much I should put in.

[Anonymous December 22, 1996 at 12:59 pm Post count: 93172]

#1166492

DonnaN:

Your post was wonderful. The discussion of human sexuality as a health,
personal, or relationship issue is perfectly within the bounds of
Support-Group.com. Sexuality is a subject too often ignored by health
care professionals, so I think it’s great that folks on the BB feel
comfortable discussing it here.

If anyone is worried about what is taboo on the BB, it’s mainly foul
language. Most of us know what that entails so I don’t feel it’s
necessary to state what those words are.

Thanks for your concern about your post, but you’re doing just fine!
*smile*

Annette
Support-Group.com

[Anonymous December 22, 1996 at 3:52 pm Post count: 93172]

#1166493

Just had to jump in and say a few word on this subject.
I too have found my desire all but gone and dryness a very
big problem, (I am also post menopausal!! so a double whammy!!!)
My SO is a very very patient man. The actual act is not always
necessary for him. Hugs and cuddling and smooching are enough
for him when I am in my real down periods. He is very understanding
and read everything he can get his hand on regarding GD. I would like to
tip my hat to him and all the other husbands, wives and SO’s that take
the time to understand us. Here’s a toast to you for being there for us
and giving us that little bit of extra love when we most need it.
Thanks a Million!!!
From one of the GD Warriors. (Lynn)

[Author]

Posts