[Anonymous October 18, 1996 at 3:38 pm Post count: 93172]

#1058413

Greetings,

Bruce said something that hit home. He said he has a case of the don’t
cares and he doesn’t care that he doesn’t care. This by the way seems to be
a very common symptom. I know because I do it too. I have suggested counseling
to help combat the “tude” (attitude in case you were wondering). It seems to
be one of the things we GD folks do that aggravates those near and dear to us.
We either have a tendancy to blow things out of proportion (due to an adrenelin
rush) i.e. the fight or flight syndrom or the mind shuts off emotions to
protect it’s self from sensory overload. The trick is to find the middle
ground. Counseling and anti-depressants help but the proper dose is sometimes
hard to find. To much and you are in zombie land, to little and your raving at
the world. This is what makes work and relationships hard. When our life mates
ask our opinion (I can only speak for me here) I either go off on a tangent about
it or don’t want to cope with the question so cop out and this can start an
argument. Am I describing anyone out there??? Counseling, stress reduction and
what ever else it takes (meditaion, standing on your head, sewing, hiking in the
woods)to relieve the sensory overload is important. If you don’t have your loved
ones by your side and your sanity what do you have? This is why it is important
that your mates and family go to counseling with you, or to our support group
meetings if we have one in you area. Have them sit with you when we do the on-line
chat so they can understand what it is we go through and it’s not just you being
a pain in the butt. One lady in my local group said bringing her husband was the
best thing she did. It let her husband realize that she wasn’t doing what she
was doing just for attention or “it was in her head”. He really realized that
there were fourteen people in the room with the same things going on. They also
found out there was help and they didn’t have to live that way. I am almost at
the point where I am looking at a different job. It’s not that I am not good at
what I do, I get outstanding performance evaluations every year. But sometimes
it takes everything I have to make it through the day. Doesn’t leave much left
for my loved ones at home at the end of one of those days. I don’t know what I
would have done without the NGDF and the folks on this BB. I was a freight train
with no breaks. With the help of the NGDF, My support group and you folks I know
what it takes to relieve stress (forgot my counselor) and try and balance work
and home. Sorry this message was so long and rambeling but I was trying to make
a point. Do what you can to take care of yourselves and your loved ones. A job
with no family or loved ones isn’t alot of good. Family and loved ones still in
your life and a different job is a better alternative. Let me know if I made sense
or cam off as a rambeling fool.

Regards,
Jake

[Anonymous October 18, 1996 at 7:03 pm Post count: 93172]

#1168489

Jake-

That was a great note, really hit home here. Sensory overload is really an appropriate term for it. I usually can’t even get myself to stop and get the mail (in the boonies here, box is a mile away) ’cause there might be a bill and it will set me off. I can read something in the paper that I don’t like and it will ruin my day! Don’t want to face anything that might upset me.

Luckily, I have a great wife who knows exactly how to handle me, and also when she needs to jump on me. She is just fine working, with me doing what I can to take care of her and the family (3 donkeys, 1 goat, 4 chickens, etc.) and it is great with her if I just have to do nothing for a few days. I think I’ll have to get her to post a message on what its been like for her the last few years.

I have had a lot of great stuff come out of having this disease, most of it having to do with asking for, and getting support from my family and friends. I never knew how generous they could be! I have even had my rent paid for by anonymous donors when things were really bad.

My motto is, if you’re gonna be sick and feel terrible, might as well have a good time doing it.

Bruce

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