[Anonymous December 17, 1996 at 5:47 am Post count: 93172]

#1057668

Dear Caroline, Hard day…sorry to hear it. It is hard to feel so
out of control. But control of much is probably only an illusion
anyway. In fact let me be bold and say that your ex-husband doesn’t know what he is talking
about. But I am sure he means well in offering you his philosophy. It is a common thought, that man is the creator of all that he experiences, but it is a lie.
For example, if you could pick not to have graves I know that you would pick that, you didn’t choose to hav
e graves. Did you?
But there is some facet of wisdom that hovers around the idea. It has to do with not being quite as afraid of suffering as we usually tend to be. It knocks some of the negative power out of suffering and lets you reeenter your life which has (or is suffering) more fully.
Anyway, as regards chauffering and doing the cards, it sounds as if you
are feeling taken advantage of. What things can you give
freely? It isn’t what we do that makes us important, you know. And
don’t forget, the last now shall later be first. Jesus says that.
Well, nite now. I hope you wake to a better day tomorrow. don’t be too discouraged, it takes too much of your precious energy. Jeannette

[Anonymous December 17, 1996 at 6:38 am Post count: 93172]

#1166630

Jeannette,

Thank you so much for the encouragement. I guess I was a real basketcase this afternoon. When I feel this lousy, I tend to forget what’s important. I don’t usually feel taken advantage of, since I love my family very much and would do anything for them. I just feel that sometimes they forget that I’m sick. Getting all that stress out today helped me feel a little better. I still felt bummed out, but it didn’t seem to be as bad. I’m afraid Jesus and I don’t talk much and I’ve always liked it that way. But lately, in the past year or so, since my grandmother died, I’ve kind of been wanting to find angels or some other entity to put my faith in. I just have to remember that I must have faith in myself. As long as I have that, everything will work out okay. Thanks again.

Warm fuzzies…

Caroline

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