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  • Anonymous
      Post count: 93172

      Dear Sandra, I don’t know if I hear exactly what you are asking..
      and of course I don’t know if what I experience will help anyone else but
      here is a thought. Underneath your questions, the ones you ask yourself,
      I wonder if you are blaming yourself for your body having a problem?
      I wonder if you question if you are being punished? In your last
      line you said that you must have been doing things right before.
      I think the Sound of Music, camp, fun and full of beauty as it is,
      has a very misleading song in it…”so somewhere in my youth or childhood,
      I must have done something good.” I have seen that the rain falls on the
      kind and the mean, the givers and the takers in life, so does the sunshine.
      So do benefits and so do troubles. The tit for tat economy isn’t
      really as immediate and absolute as some of our ideas. You
      had a combination of factors that allowed GD to manifest.
      Stress alone is unlikely to foster it…other factors were on line too.
      I guess I want to say…you don’t have gd because of anything you did, or didn’t do,
      don’t have it because you are bad or badder etc. Whatever those thoughts are
      they plague you, stop them, examine them and ask..are they really true? and are they helpful?
      Remember..if you take something away
      from yourself, replace it with something good and true and helpful.
      And hey, if I have read something between the lines that wasn’t there,
      please forgive me…maybe this is for someone else out there..
      or maybe I should, as C.S. Lewis was wont to say, “save my breath
      to cool my porridge”. Wishing you well, Jeannette

        Post count: 93172


        You’ve described that feeling really well…it’s very hard to put it to
        words, isn’t it? When you get that “odd” sensation it is hard NOT to be
        self-absorbed. I can tell you that as my blood levels have normalized
        it happened less and less often. (When the PTU was getting me too hypo, I
        felt the “other” side of weird, anxiousness of a different flavor).

        What I found that worked (or at least distracted me fairly completely) was
        “mindfulness” as opposed to mindlessness. I tried to get myself totally
        involved in ANYTHING, be it scrubbing the grout in the bathroom tiles or
        looking for things that needed mending, reading story after story to my
        kids. Basically, any activity that took up enough of my mind that I didn’t have room
        to dwell on feeling strange. My other weapon against this was: praying. I
        found that if I prayed hard for other people (with pleas for that feeling to stop
        sprinkled in there) that it kept the strangeness at bay.

        Anyway, I know EXACTLY what you’re talking about and you are definitely
        not alone in this!!


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