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  • Anonymous
      Post count: 93172

      Hey Paul – We all sympathize. Just before I was diagnosed I left my husband and daughter and quit my job. Everyone thought I was crazy. Now, I’m not saying I didn’t have a reason to be upset at home or at work. Both places were stressful in the best situations, but I “reacted” unrationally and in a way I normally would not have. Maybe a year after I was diagnosed, I realized (my daughter discovered this first and told me) the correlation between my reactions and graves. This helped her understand my actions and she realized I was out of control but not crazy like she thought initially. Now, over a year later, we talk and even laugh about that terrible time. It was almost a relief to be able to put the blame somewhere else and not have to carry it all myself, or my family didn’t have to take the blame for my misery. No doubt about it, graves reeks havoc in families. But, you must take care of yourself too. Yes, we all say and I agree hang in there – don’t give up on your wife or your children. Get out of the house and do something for you. She may not like the idea, but oh well, everything passes and believe it or not this will too. It’s amazing I can even see I’m a different person than I have been in years. As far as it goes now, very few things deserve a strong reaction from me anymore. Someone breaks a glass, oh well…I think having graves for so long drained me and now it takes a whole lot to get me going. When I start to become irrationally upset, irritable (sp), I now know I’m being irrational and it is usually because my levels have gone crazy again. Don’t forget, don’t feel guilty, don’t do something that will make you feel guilty because that will only make a bad situation worse, but certaintly take some time for yourself. You have an opportunity here to learn what many of us have – you get stronger and better through tough times. That means they really have to be tough – not just kinda hard, but really difficult. By the way, my husband and I have reconciled and after 12 years of marriage and graves, we are better than ever.

      Anonymous
        Post count: 93172

        Just wanted to add, when I said I quit my job, I didn’t mean I did it in a normal fashion, like, give them two weeks notice while I looked for another. I told them to shove there job where the sun doesn’t shine at 4:30 in the afternoon on a Wednesday! I’m glad I left, but sorry I did it that way.

        Anonymous
          Post count: 93172

          This is a hard one, Paul. The changes that you have seen in your wife’s temper ARE a result of rampaging thyroid hormones. Think back to your teenage years, when your own hormones were out of whack. I would venture a guess that your moods were more volatile than they are now. But it is more than just temper and hormones. Temper is really only the symptom of the real problem which is that your wife is very sick. Hyperthyroidism affects every part of our body, short-circuiting concentration and memory, interfering with sleep patterns, digestion, heart rate — you name it. We get very tired, the more hyper we get, and very weak from loss of muscle mass. I could not climb stairs — forget stairs — I couldn’t walk down ONE stair without my legs shaking. My arms would ache from trying to hold a hair dryer. We don’t necessarily LOOK sick to others. But we feel horrid, and weak, and tired. How do you act when you feel very, very tired? Are you cheerful? Or do you just want to crawl onto the sofa and enjoy a bit of peace and quiet? Your wife probably feels exhausted after her first hour of tending the children and house. Maybe even sooner. It is a constant struggle when we are sick with too much thyroid hormone to accomplish much of anything. With a 1-year old and a 3-year old, I really feel for your wife. My kids were grown (mostly) when I got sick, and I still had a struggle every day to accomplish even half what used to be normal. You cannot do that with babies. She is probably LIVING for the moment when you walk in the front door, so that she can have some help. Of course, if you’ve had a hard day at work, this is also the last thing you want. But, remember, you are not sick, thank goodness, and this, too, will pass.

          As Glynis pointed out — it takes TIME for the treatments to work. It isn’t just a case of taking a pill and miraculously feeling energetic and alive again. We all wish that it were. But the treatments do work. The more you can understand what it is like, how it feels, what is involved with regaining strength, etc., probably the easier it will be for you to be patient and understanding. And your wife does need this right now.

          Wishing you good health, and good luck,

          Bobbi

          Anonymous
            Post count: 93172

            Hi Paul,
            Hang in there, things will get better in time. Will take a bit.
            I speak because I am married to Jake, and that is a tough one. Believe
            me! He was and sometimes, still is the biggest %$%$$# ya ever saw!
            I was used to a mild-mannered, easy going person, and then graves hit!
            Like living with Jeckle and Hyde!!!! Can always tell when his levels are off, believe you me
            Just keep saying to yourself, “she can’t help it.” You will also learn
            to tell when she Can help it. Just takes time. E-mail me if you need me.

            In Warrior Spirit,

            JAN

            Anonymous
              Post count: 93172

              Hi Paul: Can you go with her to the doctor? Could you ask the physician if she/he would consider an ANTIANXIETY MEDICATION until things calm down. ALL of you will feel better. There are a lot of medications for anxiety. I have seen some work very well. It is worth asking. May peache return to your
              home very soon! Audrey

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