[Anonymous May 10, 2004 at 3:10 pm Post count: 93172]

#1085905

This undoubtedly has to be the weirdest illness I have experienced so far in my 51 years of living. Vomiting 24/7 for 5 months while pregnant with my son was a piece of cake compared to this. The insomnia is driving me bonkers also. Prescription sleeping pills have no effect on me whatsoever, except they allow me to sleep a grand total of 3 hours before I wake up and start tossing and turning. I then sleep in 1 hour increments the remainder of the night. One does not feel rested at all especially when you know the clock is going to alarm at 5am to get ready for work. As it is, the clock doesn’t alarm because I shut it off because I’m not sleeping anyway. I get 7 weeks of vacation per year at my job and have already used up 5 so far! It makes me sad to also think of the quality of my job as a wife/mother. I know they say we can’t go back but there are times when I remember being totally irrational and slightly insane with my husband and my son and I guess they just thought that was who I was. I remember my husband complaining on more than one occasion that he didn’t know who was going to walk through the door–depressed or manic!!! Now I realize it was probably Graves all along and on the few occasions I had blood work done for TSH my levels never indicated a problem. All we can hope for is to accept our good days and try to be the best we can be on those days and forgive ourselves when we have rotten days and don’t feel like being nice.

This board has helped me so much by doing exactly what I’m doing now. Finding someone else feeling/going through what I’m going through and expressing my thoughts and emotions.

Sorry for the lengthy message but my fingers wouldn’t stop. I hope you get better soon. We are our own worst critic so I’m sure you are a better mom than you feel you are.

Betsy

[Anonymous May 10, 2004 at 4:32 pm Post count: 93172]

#1023480

When I read posts about it taking 2-3 years before some of you finally feel better after RAI, it deeply worries me. It makes me want to run screaming to a surgeon. It has been 9 years of thyroid problems for me and the thought of 2-3 more is unacceptable. My children and husband have road the changes with me and a few more months is acceptable but 2-3 years! Life is too short for this. I have watched my son grow up with a mom who has not been the same since he was born. I have been so sleep deprived with insomnia and have done my best but he has definitely not had the mom I could have been without this disease. I am looking so forward to the END of it. Please tell me some of you haven’t waited this long to feel better. Surgery seems to end this chapter in a much more efficient way. I don’t care about a scar. If I can look at that scar in the mirror and see a woman who is finally sleeping and can be the mom and wife she has always longed to be who cares. It is what is on the inside that counts.

Angie

PS: For those of you who are wondering, the insomnia has plagued me through normal thyroid levels. I don’t know why it won’t go away but it all started with postpartum hyperthyroidism that lead to Grave’s later. I have been to so many doctor’s and no one can figure it out. Sometimes it goes away but it always returns suddenly.

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