I thought chuckle # 1 might be inappropriate. So here is another.
It is geared towards women. (sorry guys)
Women’s Dictionary:)
Arguement (ar*gyou*ment) n. A discussion that occurrs when you’re right,
but he just hasn’t realized it yet.
Balance the checkbook (bal*ens da chek*buk) v. To go to the cash machine
and hit “inquire.”
Bar-be-que (bar*bi*q) n. You bought the groceries, washed the lettuce,
chopped the tomatoes, diced the onions, marinated the meat and cleaned
everything up, but he “made the dinner.”
Blond jokes (blond joks) n. Jokes that are short so men can understand
them.
Cantaloupe (kant*e*lope) n. Gotta get married in a church.
Clothes dryer (kloze dri*yer) n. An appliance designed to eat socks.
Diet soda (dy*it so*da) n. A drink you buy at a convenience store to go
with a half pound bag of M&Ms.
Eternity (e*ter*ni*tee) n. The last two minutes of a football game.
Exercise (ex*er*siz) v. To walk up and down a mall, occasionally resting
to make a purchase.
Grocery List (grow*ser*ee list) n. What you spend an hour and a half
writing, then forget to take it with you to the store.
Hair Dresser (hare dres*ser) n. Someone who is able to create a style
that you will never be able to duplicate. See “Magician.”
Hardware Store (hard*war stor) n. Similar to a black hole in space-if
he goes in, he isn’t coming out anytime soon.
Childbirth (child*brth) n. You get to go through 30 hours of contractions;
he gets to hold your hand and say “focus…breathe…push…”
Lipstick (lip*stik) n. On your lips: color to enhance the beauty of your
mouth. On his collar: coloring only a tramp would wear.
Park (park) v/n. Before children, a verb meaning “to go somewhere and
neck” After children, a noun meaning a place with a swing set and a slide.
Patience (pa*shens)n. The most important ingredient for dating, marriage,
and children. See also “tranquilizers”
Valentine’s Day (val*en*tinz dae) n. A day when you have dreams of a
candlelight dinner, diamonds and romance, but consider yourself lucky
to get a card.
Waterproof Mascara (Wah*tr*pruf mas*kar*ah) n. Comes off if you cry,
shower or swim, but will not come off if you try to remove it.
Zillion (zil*yen) n. The number of times you ask someone to take out the
trash, then end up doing it yourself anyway.
Anonymous
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