Viewing 7 posts - 1 through 7 (of 7 total)
  • Author
  • Kim3498
      Post count: 1

      Hello. I’m new to the forum. I’m not a Graves patient however husband is. We were married 22 years before he left me almost 7 months ago saying he no longer loves me. Recently he realized that he has no feelings at all for anyone or anything. He went to a counselor and is being treated for depression. He also had blood testing done and discovered he has Graves Disease. Has anyone on here ever felt that way before? Was it caused by Graves? I’m trying desperately to support him and could use all the advice I can get. Thanks!

      Online Facilitator
        Post count: 4290

        Hello and welcome – Hopefully, you will get some additional responses, but Graves’ can *definitely* put a strain on family relationships. :( You can also contact us at or 877-643-3123 for additional info.

          Post count: 160

          Hi Kim3498,

          Yes! IME Graves changes SO MUCH about your personality and mood.

          I spent 8 years on the crazy train before finally getting a thyroidectomy and reclaiming my life.

          I don’t have any easy advice for you or your hubby, unfortunately. I was a real #@%*! when I had raging Graves’. There was no reasoning with me.

          When Graves’ is active and antibodies are high, sometimes you want to climb out of your skin. A constant level of indescribable stress on the body. Anxiety, anger and depression were common daily, sometimes hourly for me before I finally had surgery. You just kind of go numb to how you act and sound. When you’re mad…you’re MAD. Emotions are magnified to sometimes ridiculous proportions….and you don’t even realize it.

          At least in my case.

          Graves’ caused me to quit great jobs over small stresses. Destroy friendships over stupid squabbles and hurt loved ones, all justified and perfectly valid to my Graves’ brain. Lot’s of humility and burned bridges from that time in my life.

          It’s a shame the psychological side of this disease is not recognized or openly discussed in the medical profession more. Some people like me have a really hard go at it. There is hope though.

          Treatment for Graves’ works. I hope he is on meds and taking them. His body is being ravaged inside and it will take time to calm down.

          If possible, make sure he keeps up with the counselor visits. Just to get through the present moments. It does not have to be anything long term.

          Meditation helped me 1000x more than Valium. So if he is open to alternatives to drugs, I strongly recommend meditation. It’s a moment of stillness in the chaos. It could help you too in coping with your situation. We all need a break, a moment of quiet to center and focus.

          Surgery was eventually the end choice for me and I came back to Earth a better man. Which is good…..because I had 8 years worth of amends to make to the people I love.

          Keep us posted,


            Post count: 25

            How long did it take you to get regulated after thyroid surgery?

            I had surgery June 3, 2020 and my TSH 5 weeks out was 22. so now I have gone low and feel crappy. Just wondering hoe long it takes for most to get to normal and feel better. So tired of this. I stay emotionally on a rollar coaster.


              Post count: 160

              Hi MPerry,

              Wow tsh of 22! Definitely time for a bump!

              I’m sorry you have swung back to hypo. That’s a rough time, but it is temporary.

              I think it was about 2 years of gradually increasing to my current 175mcg. After surgery I started on 100mcg, moved to 150 within the first year and a half, taking every step up along the way.
              Sometimes I could mentally and physically feel the need for the bump and other times it was my bloodwork telling me my tsh was 64, even though I felt just fine. Lol

              After a dose increase…10 days and I would start to feel better. I hope that is how you respond too.

              The term you want to listen out for with your bloodwork is “subclinical”. It means you need fine tuning with your dose, although some doctors dismiss it as “good enough”. I’ve always found the moments of my life that were “subclinical” hyper or hypo to be the most challenging to cope with mentally. Very symptomatic. I relied heavily on meditation and early morning exercise to get my focus and control on those days.

              My best advice is be patient, get your blood run every 6 weeks if you can. Your body is still in transition from a high hormone life to a low hormone life.

              Some of the rollercoaster stuff from before might still exist right now. Your brain is being retrained to live without the high hormone presence, and the brain behaviors that went along with it might linger.

              If you’re feeling poorly and being told your levels are ‘Ok, but in low range’ or similar..then you need to be vocal with your doctors. Demand the care you deserve. Most importantly get a copy of your bloodwork and learn the range system that lab uses. See where you are on the spectrum of “normal range” Free T3, Free T4, TSH.
              Personally I do best a little on the higher side of FT4 vs low to middle.

              Your body has been through a lot. Thyroidectomy is a major surgery. Graves destroys the body and mind. Just trashes you physically. Give yourself time to heal. Eat good things, meditate. You will get focus, strength and control over the rollercoaster. You are still recovering. Give your body some time.

              Online Facilitator
                Post count: 4290

                @AZGravesGuy – Great to hear from you. Hope all is well!

                Just to clarify, a TSH of 22 warrants an immediate consult with your endocrinologist or primary care doc (and a followup appointment to recheck labs), and not a dose adjustment on your own.

                  Post count: 92

                  I am going to chime in here as well. @AZGravesGuy, always a treat to hear your perspective. @Kim3498, I am so sorry that you are going through this. Graves is mind boggling to our loved ones. It is mind boggling to those of us battling the illness as we get tossed to and fro mentally, physically and emotionally, when we are undiagnosed and/or untreated. Cycles of anxiety, anger, and depression (anger turned inward) can rob a person of any kind of feelings, at least for some of us, myself included. Treatment implies cured. But, healing takes a long time. From your post, it seems that the diagnosis has been done, but treatment is on the table. I hope your husband is ready and willing to discuss and find the best treatment for himself. It is heartbreaking that this kind of illness can wreck a family, hang in there, and I know that you are being supportive for him. Just don’t forget to take care of yourself. You are important too. Just by reading a few of the thousands of post on this forum you can see how wrecked our lives become with this illness. I am 10 years post thyroidectomy and I know there is no magical solution. But everyday, I do what I can to make sure I am continually healing. Like Rob mentioned, meditation is amazing. My personal preference is reiki. Any kind of mindfulness is beneficial. This advice is for you as well – to help you cope with the kind of craziness that those with graves inflict upon their loved ones. *hugs*

                Viewing 7 posts - 1 through 7 (of 7 total)
                • You must be logged in to reply to this topic.