[Anonymous August 9, 1997 at 11:27 am Post count: 93172]

#1054273

Here are more for your enjoyment… Remember, no offense is intended by any of them.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?

NIETZSCHE: Because if you gaze too long across the Road, the Road gazes also across you.

OLIVER NORTH: National Security was at stake.

B.F. SKINNER: Because the external influences which had pervaded its sensorium from birth had caused it to develop in such a fashion that it would tend to cross roads, even while believing these actions to be of its own free will.

CARL JUNG: The confluence of events in the cultural gestalt recessitated that individual chickens cross roads at this historical juncture, and therefore synchronicitously brought such occurrences into being.

JEAN-PAUL SARTRE: In order to act in godd faith and be true to itself, the chicken found it necessary to cross the road.

LUDWIG WITTGENSTEIN: The possibility of “crossing” was encoded into the objects “chicken” and “road,” and circumstances came into being which caused the actualization of this potential occurrence.

SALVADOR DALI: The Fish.

[Anonymous August 20, 1997 at 6:31 am Post count: 93172]

#1158288

Here are more… Don’t forget. No offense intended to anyone.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?

DARWIN: It was the logical next step after coming down from the trees.

EMILY DICKENSON: Because it could not stop for death.

EPICURUS: For fun.

RALPH WALDO EMERSON: It didn’t cross the road; it transcended it.

JOHANN FRIEDRICH VON GOETHE: The eternal hen-principle made it do it.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die. In the rain.

E.O. WILSON: Under the influence of a road-crossing gene, selected because it conferred a survival advantage in the chicken’s ancestral line. We could conjecture, for example, that crossing roads represents the transfer of a behavioral trait whereby some chickens sought to distance themselves from rivals, thereby distinguishing them in the eyes of potential mates and increasing their reproductive potential.

[Anonymous August 26, 1997 at 6:49 am Post count: 93172]

#1158289

Here are some more. Don’t forget. No offense intended toward anyone.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?

SIR EDMUND HILLARY: Because it was there.

WERNER HEISENBERG: We are not sure which side of the road the chicken was on, but it was moving very fast.

MARK TWAIN: The news of its crossing has been greatly exaggerated.

DAVID HUME: Out of custom and habit.

PYRRHO THE SKEPTIC: What road?

HENRY DAVID THOREAU: To live deliberately… and suck all the marrow out of life.

JOHNNY COCHRAN: The chicken never crossed the road. Some chicken-hating, genocidal, lying, public official moved the road right under the chicken’s feet while he was practicing his golf swing and thinking about his family.

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