[Anonymous March 5, 1997 at 8:40 pm Post count: 93172]

#1164102

i must say that is completely hilarious!!!!!!!
oops…vhat i meant to say vas…zat is kompletely hilarios!!
hahahahahaa
Kool Vork!!!!
Sue

[Anonymous March 6, 1997 at 1:30 am Post count: 93172]

#1056695

Hi all! I thought I’d add to the giggles that Shannon gave us with her English spoof.
Enjoy, Debby

Having chosen English as the preferred language in the EEC (now officially
the European Union, or EU), the European Parliament has commissioned a
feasibility study in ways of improving efficiency in communications
between Government departments. European officials have often pointed out
that English spelling is unnecessarily difficult; for example: cough,
plough, rough, through and thorough. What is clearly needed is a phased
programme of changes to iron out these anomalies. The programme would, of
course, be administered by a committee staff at top level by participating
nations.

In the first year, for example, the committee would suggest using ‘s’
instead of the soft ‘c’. Sertainly, sivil servants in all sities would
resieve this news with joy. Then the hard ‘c’ could be replaced by ‘k’sinse
both letters are pronounsed alike. Not only would this klear up konfusion in
the minds of klerikal workers, but typewriters kould be madewith one less
letter.

There would be growing enthusiasm when in the sekond year, it was anounsed
that the troublesome ‘ph’ would henseforth be written ‘f’. This would make
words like ‘fotograf’ twenty persent shorter in print.

In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments
would enkourage the removal of double letters which have
always been a deterent to akurate speling.We would al agre that the horible
mes of silent ‘e’s in the languag is
disgrasful. Therefor we kould drop thes and kontinu to read and writ as
though nothing had hapend. By this tim it would be four years sins the skem
began and peopl would be reseptive to steps sutsh as replasing ‘th’ by ‘z’.
Perhaps zen ze funktion of ‘w’ kould be taken on by ‘v’, vitsh is, after al,
half a ‘w’. Shortly after zis, ze unesesary ‘o’ kould be dropd from words
kontaining ‘ou’. Similar arguments vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations
of leters.

Kontinuing zis proses yer after yer, ve vud eventuli hav a reli sensibl
riten styl. After tventi yers zer vud be no mor trubls, difikultis and
evrivun vud fin it ezi tu understand ech ozer. Ze drems of the guvermnt vud
finali hav kum tru.

[Anonymous March 8, 1997 at 12:34 am Post count: 93172]

#1164103

Grin,

Yep, I’m definately a primary ed teacher, I was able to read even that bottom
paragraph. *giggle* Long live phonics…

Huggers All, Have FUN this weekend. Dawn-who is a sucker for girl scout cookies.

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