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  • Anonymous
      Post count: 93172

      That was the funniest thing i heard in a LONG time!!!

        Post count: 93172

        My hubby who is a university chem instructor received this from a
        student, he gave it to me thinking it would make me laugh and it did!
        Maybe it will do the same for you guys:)

        Let’s face it: English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant
        or ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple.

        English muffins were not invented in England or French fries in France.
        Sweetmeats are candies, while sweetbreads, which aren’t sweet, are meat.

        We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find
        that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square, and a guinea
        pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. And why do writers write,
        but fingers don’t fing, grocers don’t groce, and hammers don’t ham?
        If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn’t the plural of booth beeth?
        One goose, 2 geese. So, one moose, 2 meese?

        One index, two indices? Is cheese the plural of choose?

        If teachers taught, why didn’t preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats
        vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

        In what language do people recite at a play, and play at a recital?
        Ship by truck and send cargo by ship?
        Have noses that run and feet that smell? Park on driveways and drive on

        How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and
        a wise guy are opposites? How can the weather be hot as h*ll one day and
        cold as h*ll another?

        When a house burns up, it burns down. You fill in a form by filling it
        out and an alarm clock goes off by going on. And why, when I wind my
        watch, I start it, but when I wind up this essay, I end it?

        And she wonders why she flunked English ;-)


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