[tbrabitz]

in reply to: I can’t stop yelling…rant. Sorry. #1171031

I have had graves for a number of years. But I also have three boys ranging in age from 11 to 17 yrs old. My eldest has emotional problems, my middle 12 yr old has ADHD, and my youngest has epilepsy. So one can imagine that it is a very chaotic household. My 12 yr old had to grow up early and they have never seen me prior to graves. I was a pure mess with a new baby no less at the time. (my now 17 yr old)

I still have difficulties. And out of all my boys, I have found those bad days, they understood. They know when I am not myself and want to be there to help me all the time because they are concerned for me.

If I find they are bugging me.. I take several deep breaths and tell them, I am not feeling well. Please Stop. And if that does not get their attention, I try to tell them I know your concerned but I need mommy time right now. They have been dealing with me all their lives. Dont be afraid to let them know you are not feeling well.

Sit down have a family meeting about it. Let them ask questions. If they dont know, then that would be a time to talk. Before the patience runs thin. Create a plan for mommy time. If they are too young.. do a code word that they know how to help when that time comes.

Also look into Magic 1-2-3. I modify it for baseball terms which my boys love and under stand. Even at the age they are today.

With my 12 yr old.. (he has ADHD and not medicated) I found that i had not been spending anytime with him with everything my household endures (and my frustration was mounting). So we plan for mommy and him time. Even if it is just learning to cook something. playing a game. going to a movie. (just examples). (suggested by a therapist)

If the depression continues.. trying something new. something you would not have tried before, but were interested in. For me it was taking up knitting. It focused my mind into what I was doing and gave me time to myself away from everything.

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