[Ski]

#1070255

Make it a snickerdoodle. ” title=”Wink” />

I really, truly wish you luck. You sound like someone who is devoted to her, and I hope she recognizes that. I know it’s what she wants, because it’s what every woman wants.

You tell the story so well ~ maybe you need to show her your post. Have you said this to her, this clearly? You may be surprised at her reaction. Naturally, she’s got to be willing to really see it (it’s so easy to THINK we’re looking, when we’ve been in a longterm relationship), but if she IS willing, I think you might just see a light go on over her head.

[j_rush]

#1019231

hello everyone. I just registered, and just the thought of being able to talk to all of you about my condition is nearly bringing me to tears. correction, it is bringing me to tears.
If you will indulge me, I will give you a brief background.
I am 25 years old. I have been with the same woman for the past 3 years. The only woman I have ever loved with all of my heart. I have never been in a long term relationship before, because I decide early on if I can handle a person for the rest of my life or not, if I cannot, why continue? But that is neither here nor there. For the past three years I have slowly declined to be less patient, more irritable, more forgetful. Through that time my interest in going out declined, I had a hard time being where there were many people and loud music. I have never been particularly good at housework, and Christi has gotten on me about that several times through our relationship. I always try, and do well for a short period of time, and then it slips back to minimal effort. Then there is the libido. Without going into detail with that, I will just say that the fire has slowly died out. For the past three years I have felt ashamed of myself that I seemed to be unable to "get it" and be a better partner to Christi. About 3 or 4 weeks ago, my symptoms got dramatically worse. I had no energy at all, I mostly laid in bed all day and could barely sum up the nerve to eat. After 2 weeks of this, I finally went to the doctor. After being diagnosed with hyperthyroidism, he put me on beta-blockers. The beta blockers made me hit the floor for the first week and a half that I was on them. Now I went online and typed into google "grave’s disease is ruining my relationship," and a thread on this website came up that mirrored our situation very closely. With more searching, I have found many others that tell the same story about how Grave’s has sent their relationship into a slow decline.
Then I get the great task of explaining this to my girlfriend. A week ago, she tells me that we need a break from each other, that she needs a week to decide if she can continue with our relationship. In fact she told me that she believes that I am ‘playing it up.’ Now this week, after finding all the information about how grave’s actually affects your life and your relationships, I tried to show it to her. She told me "I’m not interested in what people have to say about it (testimonials), I am interested in medical facts." I tried to explain to her that the medical facts are going to be irritability, loss of libido, a doctor isn’t going to publish an article saying "grave’s will make you lose your temper with your kids, and make your wife feel like she isn’t attractive."
Bottom line is it seems that she doesn’t want to see the truth and our relationship is doomed.
Now I want to toot my own horn a little. my mother had grave’s, and took radioactive iodine while she was pregnant with me, and she was on birth control when she conceived. By all accounts I should not have been born, and certain not born without significant handicaps. But here I am. I am a very intelligent young man, in college, double majoring in sustainable energy resource management and business management, I am on the dean’s list and the president’s list (4.0gpa), student senate, I am a tutor and mentor, national science foundation infinity scholar. I am not a mean person, I am a loving person. In three years of being together, I tell christi that I love her every day, without fail. I have never said anything mean to her, and i mean it, even when we argue, i never try to hurt her feelings. The basics of what we have for a relationship could not be any better, I just hope, pray, beg, that she gives me the time for treatment so i can show her i am the man, a better man, than when she met me.
If you have made it this far you deserve a cookie!
thank you all,
Justin

[hyperm]

#1070256

HI Justin,

Firstly, welcome and good on you for being so open! Yes I think you may have even seen some of my posts about relationships. My hubby is a good man and infact I think a lesser man would have walked away after 4 years of a wife feeling unwell and struggling through a day. However, how do you try to educate someone on the effects of a disease who only wants the medical facts? I think Ski is right that it may be worthwhile letting her read your post. Thankfully my hubby was understanding when I was first diagnosed but when I changed to my hero of an endo – he was even more enlightened. Also this endo would ask how he was and discuss the effects of GD on the partner so he was also supporting him too.

I gather with the beta- blockers your BP hit your boots by the sound of it?

I would more than happily talk to Chrsiti for you. I have replied to another thread about mood swings where I see you had commented. Not only did my mood alter but I went from someone who went to the gym 5 nights a week for 40-50mins hard work out followed by an hour of speedo swimming to barely being able to take care of personal care. After the TS I went into an even further decline where ( I was just thinking of this the other day and how far I have came since then yeah!) I was so fatigued where if I needed to wash my hair then I had to get my hubby to do it and then I had to just have a wash down at the sink with his help and have a shower the following day – it was all graded activities as I was so fatigued.

Its very hard to try and explain that to someone but perhaps if she came on here and noticed that the majority of us are woman ( no offence to the men) who have children, have partners who work full time so we have the kids, have to clean the house, and work part-time ourselves. So by no means are lazy but physically and yes emotionally unwell because of this condition. Also the aspect that we realise how hard it can be on a partner trying to support us with this condition. Lets face no one on this forum would choose to have this condition. I have decided to go for the op as I can’t face the prospect of another TS and I NEED to feel well again for my kids, me and hubby.

Hang in there and take lots of care.

M xx

[j_rush]

#1070257

You are all so kind here. Today has been a real struggle. I have felt jacked all day. My heart rate is up, i am twitchy, nervous, been pacing all day, had a sour feeling in my gut. The worst part of it all is that it started to play tricks with my mind. I found myself getting mad at my girlfriend. i had no reason to be angry with her, i was just angry. But i read what ski wrote about jake’s grave’s rage. and i just grit my teeth and didn’t say anything. Christi was probing me to see what was wrong, and I had to fight with everything i had not to explode at her. And i won, it was glorious! I won the battle with my own will. I didn’t allow myself to burst at her. She of course was upset because she thought I was just giving her the silent treatment. After I was able to calm down to a point of civility, I went and talked to her. I told her that I was feeling as though she was hiding something from me, and simply asked her if she was. She said no. I told her that it felt like she had already made a decision to leave me. She said if she had made that decision, she would have told me already. I accepted her answers, and then I felt better. I’m still a little jacked up, my hands are trembling, but I am doing better.
Having this here also helps me to feel like I have an outlet, and I do not have to run and pester her. She wants space, and before I found you guys, she was really the only one that i had to rest my weary soul on. thank you all.
As for my BP, no it stayed pretty decent, it was 130/80 before the betas, and after it ranged from 115-130/65-75.
although, I am a very literal person, and the warnings that the doc and the pharmacist gave me about the betas scared the poo out of me, so the first few nights I was scared to go to sleep. I really mean I was terrified, more terrified than i have been of anything ever before. I thought i would drift off and die in my sleep. Now I realize what I was feeling was just being overly tired because I would put off going to sleep.
As far as her coming here. I am hoping that I can convince her to take a look at the forums. I think I will just give her the links, ask her to look, and leave it at that. If she cares, she will look. If she doesn’t look, then that says it all doesn’t it.
But again, I will learn from this situation, no matter how it turns out, I will be able to help people, and spread the word about how grave’s effects your life.

[ely2009]

#1070258

Justin,

For me the emotional aspect of Graves was one of the hardest things to deal with – it was hard on my husband and kids as well. I just wasn’t the same person. Luckily, my family and friends were/are very patient and supportive. We all learned about it together and just held onto the hope that things would improve. With GD you look healthy, but feel miserable inside. It affects SO MANY parts of our bodies and it is usually not something people know about. All of those things make it hard to deal with.

In a nutshell – I became sick at Christmastime(all the classic symptoms – bad tremors, anxiety, ADHD-like behavior, hot flashes, dizziness, etc) and was diagnosed in March. I was put on beta blockers and methimazole. If you look bak at some of my early posts, you will read that I thought I was losing my mind or that this would never end. I really did feel hopeless. I began to see improvement at the end of MAy and just in the last few weeks have not been consumed by Graves. I still have tremors and some other mild symptoms, but not as bad and not constantly. So there is hope – you will feel better; it just takes time.

I remember how relieved I was to find this website and talkto people who REALLY UNDERSTAND. I was not crazy and I was going to get better!! What a relief that was. I don’t know how I would have gotten to this point without the info and encouragement from the great people on this site. So keep reading and educating yourself and those around you. My husband read some posts and was amazed at how much they sounded just like me. i think it was a relief to him to.

Keep your chin up –
Emily

[ely2009]

#1070259

Wanted to say too, that I have so much sympathy for you. When I read your post I got a knot in my stomach. I remember being where you are and I NEVER want to go back there – it is an AWFUL< TERRIBLE place. I can hear the panic and anxiety in your "voice." Please believe that after proper treatment you will feel better – it’s so hard to believe when you feel so bad, but it’s true. that belief is what got me through a lot of days. ” title=”Smile” />

Take care,
Emily

[Hopeful23]

#1070260

JUstin,
Ill take a White Chocolate Mac nut ” title=”Smile” />

I just want to also say Welcome, even know its not the best "Welcome" you will ever have:(. However, The facilitators and people are really here for YOU and will give you support/advice/HUGS whenever you need it. I am 24 years old and have a schedule like you or should i say did have a schedule like yours. I am in college with a double major Nursing and Communications mass media. I hope to one day have some medical show/support group for charity purposes. Anyway. I to suffered from relationships. Here is my background. I was having symptoms in January 07 got diagnosed in Nov 08 Had my RAI May 12 09. In between those dates. I had about 15 jobs, 5 boyfriends and a dog ((Duke)). My ex’s were calling me everything but a white girl. I was always calling 911 2-3times a week. I had it on speed dial. lol, The Paramedics knew me and at one point had lunch with me they felt so bad. I was 112lbs at the time of being diagnosed and went up to about 190 then back down to about 82lbs. My journey began there. I cut college out, dropped out of Alpha Phi Omega, no longer worked, etc etc. My soical life well lets just say I went from countless friends to a handful. I was so depressed and felt at anytime i could die and I would be alright with it. I didn’t know where to go or who to turn to. No one just understood me as being sick it was always something else. You cant do this omg Ur 21 or 22 or 23 and now im 24 and i just got the best gift ever my resting heart rate of 62. I cried and cried and cried when i could go a whole day without taking a break and checking my pulse to see if it was too high etc. I wont lie its still rough every day. Read any of my posts. IM a anxiety/panic attack waiting to happen. I call my Dr if my foot and finger twitch at the same time or im goggling it for some other auto immune. I hope your girlfriend can come to realization you seem so amazing and so does she. you both need to stay strong and be each others support system. When you feel irate, or irritable or sad or mad, or depressed tell her. Get out of the room go lye down. KEEP YOUR MIND OCCUPIED. The PC was my out/keyboard. If i felt weird or felt angry I would get on here and just talk and post and reply till i forgot how bad i felt. If my tremors weren’t 900 shakes per second I would get on my keyboard music is my life and you can always find a song to fit your mood. Find something that keeps you at ease no matter how stressed you are. Keep that in you back pocket and pull it out. It honestly helped me. I hope you find the right treatment for you and your journey gets better every day. Stay strong, positive, and most of all keep your GF in the loop of things. Have her go to appt’s, read pamphlets, etc etc. She maybe dealing with this in a push off manor cause im sure its scary for her to see you like this. My family started coming around last week. LOL. its been rough for them so they decided if they pushed me to ‘just deal with it’ i would be fine and my family just realized GD is not something you just SUCK UP and DEAL WITH. I wish you the best of luck Justin. My prayers are with you and your GF as you two adjust to this NEW LIFE. Remember with GOD all things are possible…

[j_rush]

#1070261

Hopeful-
I hardly know what to say. I feel like your situation mirrors mine very much. Though mine might not be so severe. Scary none the less. For me it just hurts so bad to know that I will be the man she fell in love with again, and that she may not be here to see it.
I want to stay busy, I know that the times I am the worst are the times where I get bored. Those are the times where my mind plays tricks on me. I start to skew things a little bit and get angry. I think it is a mixture of hurting, sadness, worry about christi and the disease, and the little bit of joy that comes from knowing what is wrong with me and knowing it can be treated. Then of course there is the "graves’ rage" Never really understood why I would get angry before, or why i would have the NEED to talk. I would get mad and rant, and I would sit and tell myself to stop talking, but I couldn’t. Those things seem to subside when I stay at least a little busy. I really enjoy it here, I keep the page up and am constantly refreshing it to see what new tid bit it being written. Being able to talk on here makes me feel "normal", or at least like I’m not a complete freak. That feeling helps.
II wish there was something in my area for support as well. I think it would also help to see people face to face.
oh, and can anyone tell me how you all get such clear pictures on here? mine looks like it was made with an etch-a-sketch.
thanks,
Justin

[MichelleLorna]

#1070262

Hi Justin,

I’m fairly new to GD, I have only been on the medication since June. I had blood test results back in april 09 showing a problem with my thyroid, my gp felt i need to be seen urgently but my hospital appointment was made for beginning of June 09, however i was rushed into hospital in may with tyroid crisis (storm) and was then told I had Graves Disease and to take my meds that was it. I was so relieved to find this site that had answers to all the questions i had, and eveyone was so helpful. I am currently still working full time and trying to juggle my job, housework and four children which leave me exhausted. I find myself growling at my children and on somedays not even interacting with them yet I love unconditionaly. It is hard to try to explain to a love’d one why your happy one day and moody the next.
My husband and i have just recently got back together, and he has been finding dealing with me stressful as he didn’t understand it either.
When i went for my follow up appointment I took him with me and he was able to ask my consultant all the questions that he had. He found it really helpful and felt that he had been included into what was happening with me. Maybe you should suggest to Christi to go with you so she can get the answers she needs.

I wish you luck, and hope she realises what she has with you x

Regards
Michelle

[j_rush]

#1070263

Well I have come to the realization that she does believe me that graves’ can make our problems worse. I believe now that it is more that she needs a little bit of time to deal with the hurt. It isn’t rational, it”s emotional, i can understand that.
Tomorrow I am leaving fora week. I am giving her a week to herself so she can get her emotions in order, and recharge her batteries. I realized too that we haven’t had much of any time apart since we got together. She has had no time to miss me. at least when i was in school, she would be home some of the time, and I would not be there. Now that the summer is here and i have not been working and feeling terrible, I am here all the time. She has no time to miss me.
so, if I could ask everyone to pray for her emotional batteries get recharged, and for her to miss me! I will try to keep up on the website while I am gone as well.

But I hope to do some recharging of my own. I have not seen Todd since november, and that was when his brother in law, one of my best friends, died of lung cancer. (scotty was the biggest reason i quit smoking, 2-2-09) Todd and I will be without our women for a whole week….. Of course i dont mean that to sound like I will be naughty, because I wont. I just guarantee something will get broken, dont know what, but when todd and I are together, something always gets broken.
Thank you all for your support.
Thanks,
Justin "the punisher" Rush

[Sue_Conard]

#1070264

Justin: You’re in our thoughts and prayers. Release the butterfly (Christi) and if you’re meant to be together, she will recharge her batteries while you’re away and come back. Sometimes all we need is space. I know that even after 30 yrs. of marriage, I need my space from time to time. I never really understood how married couples took separate vacations until this year when I went to CA to see our son alone and it was really nice to be away and have that time to think. I will admit to you that I believe now, looking back on my marriage, that I’ve had Graves a lot longer than this past year (when diagnosed) and it caused a lot of stress in my marriage around 15 yrs. ago. Without any details, I look back at what transpired and know in my heart, it was Graves. I have faith that things will turn around for you two. Take care of YOURSELF FIRST and everything else will fall into place. Please let us know how you feel when you return from your week away and how things are going for the two of you.

[lakeview]

#1070265

Hi all
Just adding my voice to the chorus…. I understand what you are going through… Justin- you are certainly not alone in your emotions – and Hopeful, when I read about your anxiety and panic – I can understand it 100%-
On a day to day basis I wake up wondering so what is going to happen with my body next! For me, its my eye sight… in a matter of months I suddenly see double in the morning and am dizzy… it seems to go away as the morning progresses, but I can’t look up or to the sides without seeing double in the day.
This disease sucks… But I am happy to have this forum, to realize I am not alone and my sense of panic is pretty normal!

Hang in there, things will get better – and I am sure that if you hang out with a good friend it will help to bring a little laughter into your day.
All the best,
Lakeview

[Sue_Conard]

#1070266

Hello Lakeview! I feel your pain. I’ve had double vision since last August (off & on until October). Since December I’ve had 2 IV infusions of Solumedrol treatment & Radiation, only to continue having the double vision. The reason for the Solumedrol & Radiation is because my symptoms were overwhelming with pain in my head (temples) and darkness (like someone pulled a shade over my one eye, I believe it was pressure on the optic nerve). With this said, I hope that you will seek an eye specialist in your area that deals with GD ophthalmology. I’ve been blessed, in that, I have a one in my area that works with my Endo to treat me. I call him my "monthly"…I’m too old for a monthly except the eye specialist!! Every month he measures my eyes for changes and watches my symptoms very closely, then works with my Endo on treatment. My eye specialist has been researching GD for over 20 yrs. and I feel very blessed to have found him in my area. Until I go into remission, he doesn’t see the need to do surgery to realign my eyes. It’s been a real struggle for me to have the eye disease because I enjoy beading and scrapbooking. This disease has taken away my sanity & my hobbies. It’s a struggle without a large light & magnifying glass to enjoy what I used to do. Good luck on your eyes…I MISS MY PERFECT EYESIGHT!!!

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