[jaqeinquotation]

#1059816

Will I ever be able to live “well” being Hypo/Hyper; with graves?
and as long as I do my part (eat well, see doc’s regular, take meds, see mental health professionals) will I ever be stable enough to have healthy relationships?
Im so scared and terrified….I read stories of people losing their relationships to graves and I too lost mine before I was diagnosed.

I’m a great person but because of this distraction I tend to stay to myself and shy away from potential dates because I don’t want to take the risk but I am lonely and yearn for healthy companionship
I have said this before but I wish there was a site for graves sufferers…people who are looking for friendship, relationships and know exactly what they’re up against because they too deal with it? Make sense?

Any tips?

[smtucker]

#1177877

My sister was diagnosed with Graves in 2004-ish. Like me, she was unable to take the Tapizole [liver problems after 6 months] and did the Radioactive Iodine. She lives a full life. She has a partner and overall is fairly happy. She hates her eyes and did have some eyelid surgery in 2005. Her doctors think it might be time for the more aggressive surgeries, but she isn’t ready at all for that.

If you asked her, Graves doesn’t define her life in any meaningful way.

No tips. I have been hanging with the same person for over 30 yrs and can’t imagine what it would take to find companionship in today’s world.

*susan*

[Kimberly]

#1177878

Can you “live well”? Yes, I absolutely believe so. Many of our members and volunteers are living proof of this.

As for finding a relationship, hopefully, others with more expertise will chime in here. I actually tried a dating service a while back, was not happy at *all* with the way the service worked, and I went back to being my happy (but single) self. At that point, I decided I was going to stop waiting to do stuff that people usually do with a significant other — movies, theater, concerts, travel, etc.. If I can’t find a friend to go with, I go by myself!

[adenure]

#1177879

Kimberly,

Before I got married, I did the same thing! Went to movies, the theater, restaurants by myself.

I didn’t get Graves until about a year ago- after having been married for 9 years. But, I am very fortunate. I married an amazing man who has stood by me through it all and steps up to the plate when things get tough. He’s a wonderful husband and a great father.

As far as do we ever live well and happy after hyper/ hypothyroidism. Yes! Yes! Am I 100% pre- Graves me? No, I would say not. But, if I had to give it a percentage- I’d say 90 or 95% there! I feel like having surgery is a big part of that bc I know that I will never swing hyper again (unless I have too much Synthroid). That, in itself, is a big relief from the anxiety and worry about slipping down the hyper slope again. I know others can be on ATD’s, feel good, and be well with that. But, I’m grateful (in a way) that ATD’s didn’t work for me. I was able to move forward quicker and get back to normal. So, although not perfect, I think that we can be well again. Admittedly, I do take better care of myself now as well. Graves gave me the wake up call that I FINALLY listened to: to take care of myself so that I can take care of others. I was very bad at doing that before. I got sick and even hospitalized for meningitis because of stress and too much, but never listened to my body. Now, I do.

[gatorgirly]

#1177880

Like Kimberly, I don’t let being single define me. I did choose not to seek out a relationship while I was going through the worst of my TED because it left me feeling very insecure about myself. Both because my eyes look weird and because the prednisone I was taking to reduce the eye swelling made me gain a lot of weight, have acne for the first time at age 26, and have a puffy “moon” face. However, now that I have OD behind me and am slowly but consistently losing the excess Graves’ and prednisone left me with, I find I am happier and thus more attractive to others, and am now actively dating again.

My thyroid levels continue to be unstable. I had RAI in February 2011 and have not gone more than six weeks without having to adjust my Synthroid dosage. It’s not anyone’s fault – I take it religiously yet my body refuses to cooperate. However, on any given day, I feel 100%. It’s almost as if I’m so used to fluctuating thyroid levels that I no longer notice them. I had the worst cold two weeks ago and was out of work for four days. But my dad and brother (who I live with) also had the same horrendous cold. It was almost reassuring to be sick like they were because it was finally something NOT caused by my thyroid…or lack thereof.

Everyone tells me I will find him when I finally stop looking. Maybe you will, too

[jaqeinquotation]

#1177881

Thankfully, I have a good family that tries to be supportive and won’t allow me to feel sorry for myself. I have a few good friends and I do enjoy my “me” time. And I can’t completely blame graves for the demise of my last relationship because there was so much involved but it certainly played its part. Everything happens for a reason and it was honestly for the best.

The change in my appearance and how I feel about that also makes me prefer to wait until my eye surgeries are all done with, but I consider myself new to all this still and since its mainly a guessing game I can’t help but think about my future often…eg: What happens when the kids are all grown up and gone? One day at a time I guess.

Living well emotionally and physically and wondering if it will ever be my reality is something I always think about and it helps to hear from others after they’ve had a TT and/or OD..it gives me something to work towards while listening to my own body. I’m grateful that day after day I feel better than I did before.

Thanks again, for all the responses…you guys are great!

[vanillasky]

#1177882

Most women want to be married, and that reminds me of that old saying “the grass is always greener on the other side.”

I have been married forever and have had my struggle with poor health for 15 years. he is not supportive – never has been, never will be. I feel alone a lot. He looks at Graves’ like “no big deal.” He has his own set of problems and thinks mine are minor.

So there are times when I wish I could get away from it all, including him. times I wish I was alone, times I wish I wasn’t here.

I’m not saying it isn’t great to have a good relationship but on the same token, just because you have a husband/boyfriend, doesn’t mean he’s going to understand you.

Don’t depend on another person for your happiness. You have to make your own. So that’s what I do. take it a day at a time.

And I have girlfriends younger than myself in their 20’s and 30’s, some are in 40’s and they can’t find the right guy, so it seems it is difficult these days. I didn’t see one wedding at our church down the street this past summer. Men just don’t want to get married anymore and I think a lot of them have no respect for women. So it doesn’t really matter what you look like, beauty is in the eye of the beholder and these men? Well, aside from Brad Pitt, I haven’t seen a good-looking one in ages!

Karen

[mwhitney]

#1177883

I think when you live with any chronic condition you worry about this.
Graves is a recent diagnosis for me but I already live with two other life altering conditions.
And with dating I find that the majority of guys don’t care if they are mature enough to realize things happen in life that we’re not exactly expecting. If they can’t get that, they don’t deserve anyone’s time. Being with someone is about going through things together.

I notice with most they have more sympathy on the fact that I’m able to go through all this and keep going. It’s like I’ve gained extra merit badges for courage and bravery at life. They just don’t know, that’s what you do, when stuff happens- yet.

Sometimes you have to put dating on a back burner, and just deal with what’s on your plate. I’ve done it.

But I can’t say that telling people what I deal with on a daily basis has been a bad thing. I’m not very vocal about things unless people ask, but I usually find out about that they are more willing to open up.

I don’t have a boyfriend, but I can’t say that the ones that are interested are anymore put off by my “problems”, they don’t really mind at all.

[jaqeinquotation]

#1177884

Your responses helped alot. Thanks to everyone who took the time to reply:)

[Author]

Posts