[amyl]

#1073530

Hi,
It sounds as though you are going through a very rough time right now but you need to hang in there. I know Graves’ can make you very emotional and having a baby can make you very emotional so you’ve got a lot going on in your body. If you truly feel suicidal, you need to get to a hospital ASAP!!!! They can help you. You need help right now. You can’t take care of your family if you’re not well so please, get some help. You will feel so much better!!!
Please let us know what you decide to do.
Amy

[hyperm]

#1073531

HI Amy,

thanks for your reply – I have been out a drive in the car in the hope that all settles for the evening but no I am not feeling good at all. I have a very supportive mum and hubby for how much longer? My husband works from home and ins now having to work through the night to help me throughout the day and my mum is taking the kids.

When I came home he asked me if i was ok and I told him that neither will tomorrow will be ok or the following -all I hear is once the meds kick in but I don;t think they realise that i am not sure if i can hold on that long.

I adore my kids but tonight was the first night I have really thought I should never have had them as what kind of mother am I to them? I used to have my eldest to 5 baby classes a week and now even the thought of getting him dressed has me breaking out in sweats and crying. I am trying to hide it but can’t any more as I can do nothing. I tremor all over if I try to do something and feel on the verge of collapse, i can’t think straight, i can’t clean my house, I can’t prepare any food, i offer no wifely support to my husband and just give my parents worry ” title=”Sad” />
” title=”Sad” />

Please has anyone else felt this with this condition I never felt the first time I was diagnosed.

M xxx

[amyl]

#1073532

Hi,
I just sent you a private message. Please read it.
Amy ” title=”Smile” />

[Lorrainydaz]

#1073533

I feel your pain, as I have been feeling the same way and I have not just given birth. You have double the stress and hormones. Every time my heart starts to go crazy I tell myself, it’s just the thyroid, it’ll slow down. There are other things they can give you, beside beta blockers, for your heart issues. If you feel that bad get to a hospital and let the ER handle things, they will at least get you under some control and maybe some anxiety meds to help you through this. Even though your endo is sick, isn’t there a doctor covering for him/her? Know that you are in good company here, hang in there and know, this will pass, it WILL GET BETTER. Keep that thought every time you feel bad. Those kids need their mother, it’s just the disease making you feel lousy, so kick it in the butt with some survival thoughts, it’s just the thyroid, it’ll go away soon. Hang in there and keep us posted! Lorrainydaz

[hyperm]

#1019703

I posted on here a few days ago and thank you to all who offered support. To cut a long story short I had my baby 3 months ago had been off all meds while pregnant. After giving birth I felt as though I was going to collapse – after several visits to GP who was shocked with my levels. subsequently I did collapse and had a running tachycardia of 166 and rising. They thought they may have to shock my heart. Anyway I was put on heart tablets as unable to take betablockers as asthmatic. Threy doubled my dose of carmbimazole, however a few days after discharge I was told to come off the carbimazole as my WBC was dangerously low – since then I am still not on tabs even though my thyroid bloods are awful.

My hair is falling out in lumps (just replied on another thread about this). I am crying all the time,I can’t eat as have pain in my stomach I still have a tachycardia, I can’t do any house work or care for my little boys and I feel as though I am ready to run out the house as I am so unwell and see no end to this. In hospital I did take a bad turn and the last thing I heard was "call her husband quickly" so I know that this has given me a very bad shock.

Last week I felt very suicidal and called my endo — the secretary (who is lovely and has hyperthyroidism) said get your bloods done ASAP , however my endo has been off sick so I am still on no meds and just feeling so awful. I hate to complain and feel like such a moan but I have no quality of life and to be honest just think it would be better for all if I wasn’t here at all.

mx

[susant]

#1073534

I have sent you a private message

[Ski]

#1073535

I know this is tough ~ it sounds as if you have people around you who are concerned, and they need to be allowed in to help you through this. When you gather enough hands, it’s just a little extra for each of them but FAR less for you, which is exactly what you need. Please remember that you will return to yourself ~ it may take some time, but you WILL feel better. It is FAR better to be here than not. I know it feels hopeless, it feels as if you can’t take it. I’m sorry there isn’t much else that western science can do. In the meantime, perhaps you need to turn to other methods of relaxation, of healing ~ some people do yoga (low impact, at this point), some meditate, some take nice long hot baths. You need to preserve your energy, and since your body is having a hard time slowing down right now, you have to put some extra energy into that.

You should know that nearly everyone I meet with Graves’ Disease tells me that they’ve ALWAYS been the one to do everything for everyone, they don’t know what others will do without them, it’s torture to tell anyone "no." Perhaps that’s the lesson we’re meant to learn from this particular disease, it’s such a commonality between us it’s nearly alarming. We need to balance things for our own health right now. We can return to that "do-almost-everything" person, but in the meantime we need to accept help. Accept that people do not do everything exactly the same. If your helper puts the dishes back in the wrong cabinet, breathe deep and be grateful that they were there. Forgive yourself for not being capable right now, and for having to step back in order to keep your balance. If you had been diagnosed with something that people truly understood, you’d have no problem getting help. If this were a diagnosis of cancer, you would have a far easier time asking for help, don’t you think? Well, your body is going through a lot of chemical issues right now, just as debilitating. We often hear "you don’t look sick," as some kind of accusation. Well, not everything shows on our face and in our body, and sometimes people just need to trust that we are in a fragile state.

Please please please let us know how things are progressing. Has your doctor put you on any beta blockers during this time? Sometimes while we are hyper, the beta blockers can take the edge off ~ just keep the heart rate down, keep the shakes at bay, help us to relax. I know some patients cannot take beta blockers due to asthma and related conditions, so if it’s not a possibility for you, I’m sorry. It’s about the only medication I know of that helps during this extremely difficult time in your treatment (besides, of course, the ATDs ~ you’re still taking them, aren’t you?). Try to remember that each day may bring a TINY improvement, and try to look for it. At least that helps us to be looking toward recovery, even if we have to get there VERY slowly.

[hyperm]

#1073536

Thank you thank you to all of you who have posted and also privately mailed me I will reply privately too. I have had depression in the past as I was attacked so I have a very good counsellor who i have contacted again as she knows me from before. She has treated some women through thryoidism so I am so lucky that she won’t just put it down to depression. She and my mum also think I am now grieving the miscarriages and that mixed with an untreated thyroid has made me go off the scale..

after I came home I thought I was calm and then went to look on the baby and spilt my glass of water on his blanket well it seems so stupid but it just set it off and my husband came down stairs in time as I really was going to hang myself ” title=”Sad” /> I don’t feel much better this morning but I am so thankful that there are people out there who know this condition and don’t just think I am crazy.

I am on heart meds and they are working to a point but I still have a heart beat of 120 at rest and when I come out the shower its beating so fast I am loosing my breath. Hopefully my endo will call tomorrow. Last night I just couldn’t handle the thought that it could take (like last time) a full year to start to feel better and in the meantime I can do nothing but sit and not help my children. I am a very maternal person so I think this is why I feel so guilty for not being able to care for them. My Endo has prescribed diazepam and I am taking that but I don’t think it is helping.

I know I am panicking as because before I wasn’t as ill as this (although was ill if you know what I mean) and it took over a year for me to star feeling I can cope and then lost the 2 babies because of it. I think it has all been a shock to the system as I had the crash team around me etc.. in hospital and as I am an OT a little knowledge is a dangerous thing.

However while I have been writing this my eldest little boy has came over and gave me a big cuddle and told me I am his guardian angel ” title=”Sad” /> ” title=”Neutral” /> ” title=”Smile” /> so I know i need to go on.

I am sorry this has all been so low and I am sure there are many people out there who are much worse than me and I shouldn’t complain. Once again thank you so much for all your kind words. ” title=”Smile” />

M x

[amyl]

#1073537

There are so many people that care about you and want you to feel better. You were given some great advice and support yesterday….please try to remember it when times get tough. You are being assaulted by so many things, it’s no wonder you’re having such a hard time. If you can just hang on and remember that this isn’t your fault. You are a victim of Graves’. You didn’t choose this disease, it chose you. Luckily, it WILL GET BETTER!! You will get through this and you have a wonderful family that loves you and wants you to be there for them. Stop trying to take care of everything and just enjoy your family. I’m so glad your son gave you that hug…I’m sure he’s got a lot more hugs just waiting for you and I’m sure he loves getting hugs back from you. Hugs are great medicine!!!!!
I hope today is a better day for you!
Amy ” title=”Smile” />

[Buttamama28]

#1073538

Where to begin.? After the birth of my first living child (Chauncey), I counted my blessings and decided to get my tubes tied. To my disbelief I wasn’t old enough and didn’t have enough children to be considered for a tubal in the state of Florida. So I decided to attempt a successful pregnancy again to meet state requirements (unfreakin believable). So I stopped taking my PTU and doubled up on the folic acid.. within a month I was pregnant. Awww, yeah more like Oh!… I was miserable, but determined. The experience I had with PTU and pregnancy with my oldest son, brought me to the conclusion that I refused to take it at all with him. I also breastfed him for his first 3mths. That was as far as I could manage; I had to get back on my meds. So now I am taking 300mg of PTU a day, just to make up for the year I took nothing. I still have my good days and bad. I suffered severely with PPD with my first, and I tried my hardest to fight thru it this time. I do suffer from Roid rage or whatever you would like to call it; suprisingly enough most of my episodes occured when I was pregnant. My fiance’ calls me by a different name when I’m upset, he’s like "can you tell the love of my life I miss her, and that I want her here not you"? We try to make light of it, and I am blessed to be surrounded by love. But, I miss me too; I wish she would come back. But, I know it’s not that she doesn’t want to, she can’t. Just hang in there, it gets rough and the whole mom thing on top of that can be overwhelming. If I didn’t have them, I think it would be much worse because they are my motivation.

[whymythyroid]

#1073539

I’ll be praying for you … but I know that seems like nothing right now.

So … I was just wondering if you have a midwife or someone with whom your are still in contact for postpartum care? Postpartum depression and thyroid are an awful mix. You are attributing your awful feelings to the thyroid … and I can’t help but wonder if maybe you need to talk with your midwife about the whole picture.

You’ll get through it . You will — because you have two beautiful kiddos who love you and need you around. In the big picture, you not doing the bazillion "mommy" things *right now* isn’t important. Even if you sit on the couch and watch movies all day with your 5yo, that counts as being there. It’s ok to do. Really . .. because at some point you won’t feel so awful and you’ll be out and about with him (them).

And maybe your endo will be back in tomorrow! ” title=”Wink” />

[ElectricBlue107]

#1073540

Being a male (and apparently a minority on these boards), I can’t ever imagine the emotional hassle a women goes through during pregnancy, so I can’t help you out there, only offer my support. But, as someone with Graves, I do know where you’re coming from. All of our experiences and emotions are unique, but I know the struggle of being an emotional trainwreck and snapping at the littlest things, so I’ll just say my thoughts go out to you and I want you to know that we’re all here for you and can understand where you’re coming from if times get too tough.

And maybe I missed this answer, but are you not allowed to be on Methizamole while you’re pregnant?

[hyperm]

#1073541

Hey whymythyroid believe it or not I do appreciate your prayers and thank you so much that you would think of me – it seems its that divine intervention is the only thing carrying me through all of this.

Also I suppose electricblue as a man you must feel like a minority on this board but thank you so much for your support. I was lucky that i didn’t need any meds while pregnant ” title=”Wink” /> so I think that is why I took the storm – however my endo did predict that but my GP was very poor in contacting him quick enough when she got my results which seemingly made her "heart stop"

My hubby went out and bought me the GodFather trilogy last night as I love it and also Al pacino so now that my eldest is at nursery and my angel of a mum has taken baba out in the fresh air I have my self settled for an afternoon of rest and give into this fatigue for a little while…

I can’t believe the amount of support I have had on here and I am so sorry if I sounded like moaning mertyl…its not like me so I guess thats why I am taking it hard out…

Just can’t wait to have partial removal and then convince hubby that another baby next year is a great idea

Thanks again.

m xxxx

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