[vanillasky]

#1059602

Hi support group!

This is the time for suport as I am ready to either take the bridge or throw in the towel. (get ready for the rant and rave!)

My mother whom I spend Xmas with yesterday told me my “condition” is a frame of mind as I sat there dripping in sweat. BTW, I am spending my entire winter in cotton t-shirts and light jeans. Sweaters are my enemy.

All of the stress of Xmas, transferring heavy gifts to the car (husband doesn’t help) he does not celebrate Xmas,) so heavy boxes transported by me through the snow to her house nearly let me fall and break the crystal vases I bought. I did the best I could. Unexpected company I really didn’t want to see, made it more stressful as they tell me I look “nice,” when in fact, my body is going hell inside.

Bursting a lot with hot flushes, my face turns red and chest. I had to go wipe myself down a few times. I had body odor no matter how much deodorant I wear. I know, I know. I have written I am menopausal too, but somehow this is just getting so bad.

Today at home, I tried to do laundry. I over-heated. I started to cry. Husband is yelling at me for crying. I wish I was dead.

If anyone knows how bad I feel, please give me some support as to HOW to carry on. I could use it.

thanks,
Karen

[Kimberly]

#1176071

Karen – Sending {{{hugs}}} your way, as well as reassurances that you *can* and *will* get your life back once your hyperthyroidism is under control.

It’s hard to tell from a written post if what you need at this point is some compassion and understanding — or if you are truly in a crisis mode.

If it’s the latter, I would encourage you to take advantage of any local resources that might be available, or you can contact our office at 877-643-3123 or at info@gdatf.org.

As I recall, you had had a negative experience with a psychiatrist in the past, but your endo had offered a new referral. I would really encourage you to take advantage of this. We just posted a new video on our YouTube channel, called “The Emotional Impact of Graves’ Disease”. (Link included below). The presenter talks about the overlap between symptoms of hyperthyroidism and specific other conditions (depression, generalized anxiety disorder, etc.). Sometimes, treating the hyperthyroidism will make the other symptoms disappear…but other times, there is another underlying issue that requires separate treatment to get you fully back on the road to good health again.

(Note on links: if you click directly on the following link, you will need to use your browser’s “back” button to return to the boards after viewing, or you will have to log back in to the forum. As an alternative, you can right-click the link and open it in a new tab or new window).

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CB8_5rbCso8

As we all know here, Graves’ is *very* real and is not just a state of mind! If your family members might be willing to spend a little time educating themselves, they might start acting with a little more compassion. They are also welcome to contact the Foundation at the above phone/e-mail with any questions. This thread is a good place to start with resources:

http://gdatf.org/forum/topic/42352/

If you have some time to go back and read older posts on this forum, you will see many posters who came to us in crisis, but were able to re-claim their lives once they had chosen the right treatment option for them.

I wish I had some better wisdom to offer. At this point, anything that you can do to pare down your schedule will be helpful, as is building some “down time” into your day to focus on activities that bring you joy.

Take care — and please keep us posted.

[snelsen]

#1176072

WW. That is really tough! I am wondering if it would be at all helpful for your mom to SEE your lab results that clearly say abnormal or out of range. Probably not, though, cUse it is very hard for me to imagine her feeling anything but concern and compassion for you, especially when she can see your physical symptoms, which is not Lways the case with us. Would it help if she read about it, or read some of the posts you select on this site?

And, Christmas is one of the most stressful times all too frequently for everyone. The old tapes of childhood come flying back, siblings sometimes regress to long ago grudges, and different generations of families are feeling fragmented on whom they should spend time with, while someone else is feeling left out. A bit of a cynical view, but that is what I see and experience.

I totally know how you feel at this stage, and when I was told I’d get better, I did not believe it.

Again, I am caught without remembering what stage you are in your treatment
Are you taking ATD’s and just beginning?
Shirley
So I am here to tell you my husband was not supportive at all, though it was not any different before I got graves. But my friends and mom were, and that helped, I think I remember saying frequently, “I am really sick” No normal person is hot like that, eating tons of food losing weight and much more.
I am hoping today you can find a kindred soul to spend time with and be nice to you

[Kimberly]

#1176073

@Karen – Check your PMs in a bit…our Founder is going to contact you privately and provide her personal contact information.

Take care!

[vanillasky]

#1176074

Thank you sooo much Kimberly and Shirley. Yes, Shirley, I take Tapazole 10mg and will see endo but not til March 13. I called today to see if I can see him earlier and they have no openings.

Yes, I went to shrink a year ago and she said I had “gynocological” problems (menopause) that made me feel and act the way I do, which I suppose is similar but at that time, I didn’t know I had Graves’ as well. I thought I had Hashimotos.

Mother is just older and ignorant. For her age, she is 87, she has had no major surgeries and had an easy menopause, no thyroid problems either.

I wish my father were still alive. He would understand as he went through hyper and thyroid cancer.

Husband belittles everything. He comes first. I left him once.

[catstuart7]

#1176075

Hugs to you! I am so sorry you are going through this awful time. Relationships and life circumstances that would be hard even if your health was perfect right now sound like they are pushing you too far. To me it seems like there’s two priorities to get you the right endo help and the right support. If your endo’s office refuses to help you and get your levels checked, that’s reason enough to look for someone else or at least a second opinion. For support even just a regular therapist not necessarily psychiatrist could still help during this time. Let your husband and mother hang out in a box in your mind that you will deal with later when you are more up to it.

[NurseThomas]

#1176076

Even though we’ve never met, I am sending you hope. GD has been a thorn in my forehead and my husband the work-a-holic has not always been the best support. So I understand your frustration. I use pray and lots of it and that has seemed to get me through each day. I will pray for your sanity and a speedy recovery.

[PolishTym]

#1176077

Do you think your mother’s reaction is connected to your late father’s condition? How did she react when he was ill? Is she in denial? Is she afraid that accepting your condition will lead to a similar result for you, even if there are differences? Some people who don’t get that ill can’t look from another perspective, or they refuse to accept reality after a bad experience.

I have a sister with cancer and she and our mom don’t get along. The best news I heard was that they weren’t seeing each other on Christmas. Sometimes minimal contact is best. Don’t feel guilty avoiding others if not a positive experience. We all deserve our breaks from human contact at times like this.

If I remember right, you are in the upstate area, probably closer to WNY/southern tier. If so, you may want to look into help in the Amherst area. I think there are some psychiatrists around there who work with patients having medical conditions, and they may be more understanding than the one you had. I am not trying to be pushy–just a thought. I could have used someone early on just help me sort things out.

Best wishes.

[vanillasky]

#1176078

Thanks Bernadette and Welcome to our support family!

@PolishTym: You make some good points. It is hard for me to remember how she acted when father got thyroid cancer because I was a small child. I honestly don’t know how she feels about me having Graves’. She doesn’t say much. When you live to be as old as her, I find myself getting stressed out because she is getting hard of hearing, yet when my father went through that, she told him to get a hearing aide. He didn’t and now she won’t either. Sort of hypocritical, but what can I say?

Christmas was bad spending it with her because she is regressing and becoming somewhat child-like. She worries about stupid things like who will plow the snow out of her driveway when she barely drives and the neighbors next door and what they are doing. It’s almost as though she ignores my health issues, but on the same token, I think she tries to get my mind off of it so that we don’t dwell on it.
I do have one friend that I am ignroing right now. I am not proud of this but she is foreign and does not understand a lot of english let alone Graves Disease. She thinks everything can be cured (don’t laugh) with Asparagus. I get tired of listening to this nonsense. She is constantly putting me down for being “too thin.” She doesn’t understand what Graves’ can do. And sometimes when my eyes just don’t look right, she’ll say “are you tired?” “What’s wrong with your eyes?” That just makes me a wreck.

People like that are just ignorant. I don’t want to use the word “stupid.” It’s just what I have always believed: If you don’t have what the person has, then you just don’t understand what they are going through, how they are feeling and what their prognosis is. So I steer clear of her, but she really brings out the stress in me. Sorry to say. I haven’t even returned her phone calls! I just don’t want to hear the nonsense. Asparagus will not help thyroid disease and make me gain weight.

[smtucker]

#1176079

::tongue in cheek::

Your friend mixed up the cure emails. Asparagus doesn’t cure Graves Disease. When properly spritzed with lemon juice, butter is optional, it cures breast cancer.

::removing cheek from tongue::

[vanillasky]

#1176080

@smtucker! LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I needed that! thanks.:lol:

[Khadijah]

#1176081

Yes, my mom says crazy crap like that at the worst times. Not, about the thyroid because she had that. But, she can find lots of other things to make me crazy. And the husband well you know my situation. I feel for you I did most everything myself.

I do think you will feel better in a week with the higher dosage. I’m praying you do.

[JHinrichsen]

#1176082

My general practioner kept telling me this condition was in my head and due to menopause. I was sweating just like you describe. It was embarrassing at work. My general kept gripping, calories in, calories out! Bull. I was gaining weight on 550 calories a day. And my other blood work numbers are still all over the place.

Have you done RAI?

I still have many symptoms that are nagging but the worst has passed. That is why I write to you. I felt the hopelessness and remembered all too well. Nit does get better, you have to have faith and hope!

[Author]

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