[Anonymous]

#1036291

Hi Zani, I just wanted to take a minute an say we all have days like that. I looked in the mirror today, an couldnt believe my eyes, my hair is standing straight up, Im getting acne(wuz up with that) an my best clothes are my jogging pants an worn out shirt; only clothes that fit me. Alls I can do is laugh at how I look, really Im pretty comical looking. My husband’s favorite line is” at least your still beautiful inside”. LOL which really means, ” I cant stand the site of you, but…”
Sounds like your a wonderful cook. Keep the peace…..

[Anonymous]

#1120791

Zani,

Ouch, sounds bad. As a husband, I would like to urge you to help your husband understand Graves disease. I find out the more I know, the more able I am to remember that most (but not all) of the abuse I’m getting lately comes from my wife’s disease. It’s still everything I can do from separating from her (which is what she keeps claiming she wants) but we have 2 kids (both under 5) who don’t and wouldn’t understand anything other than they just lost either their mom or their dad. Given the information I have found (some here on the board, some from a counselor who has worked with another Graves patient and family here in Waldorf) and my determination to keep from hurting the kids, so far I just try not to argue with my wife when she is unreasonable.
Like anyone else, sometimes we husbands need support or comfort, and with a wife with Graves, that comfort and support is just not there (usually). However, your husband may not even know that much about Graves and that would make his tolerance and compassion much less since he might not have any clue as to why you are depressed or irritable so often (its the disease). For months, I had no clue, and just felt like my wife was way off base and after the first month or so, I just fought right back under the theory that she would mellow out if I would not just be a dumping ground for her bad moods. Then I found out that meant constant fighting and more stress and even more bad moods from her. Vicious cycle and the only way to break it was more information as to why things were happening, such as what Graves disease is, and what types of effects it has on people.
Basically, give your husband a few books on graves, let him read this bulliten board, and have him with you when you visit your doctor, your endo, and/or a counselor. Make him part of the solution instead of part of the problem – sometimes knowing you can make a difference and can understand some of whats going on makes all the difference.

Hang in there and I’ll try to also
Brian

[Anonymous]

#1120792

Hi Zani

Boy do I relate. The past year or so I’ve been feeling this violent rage take over at something my husband of 20 years does or doesn’t do, sometimes he seems so dense, selfish and insensitive that I feel hurt and furious to the point of wanting to just get in the car and drive away, don’t care where. I know I’m not perfect, but I really try to spoil him because he has a stressful job, so I try to keep it to myself and not blow up (I have a stressful job too, but he makes more money than I do, so he feels his job and his stress are more important than mine). It makes me feel a lasting resentment towards him and it damages our relationship a little each time it happens, and he doesn’t even realize it (because he’s dense). I’ve often felt that if I looked a little more like the anorexic barbies on T.V. I’d dump him (for Antonio Banderas), but then I have to stop and realize some of my full blown rage probably is caused by this disease. I sense a lot of pain in your posting, I just want to tell you that I’m sorry you are feeling so hurt and down, please hang in there and take care of yourself.

[Author]

Posts