I agree that is a really good book, but from the sounds of things, pointing out sections of the book to her might be taken the wrong way by someone who is already hyper-sensitive. Perhaps just sharing the book and suggesting that she might want to read it since it has to do with Grave’s Disease might be taken better. It’s hard to know.
Having lived “on eggshells” for 30 years, I know how it feels when someone is ready to jump down your throat over absolutely nothing. And while I don’t generally recommend swallowing hard and accepting abuse from others, I also think, Bob, that you are trying to buy some time hoping the ATD will have some positive effects. In this case you are smart to just lay low as much as possible.
And Bob, I think it IS possible that a person can zero their anger in on just one person — it’s called scape-goating. I have a dear friend who was the scape-goat in a foster family. She was physically, verbally and emotionally abused until she was 18 and legally able to leave that family. None of the other children was treated that way. Maybe it’s the only outlet your wife is allowing for her rage and because you are an adult, she doesn’t see it as damaging.
I’m great at theorizing, but I don’t know if any of this makes sense. You’re to be commended for sticking with it and trying so hard. Please keep us informed and don’t give up until you feel you have no choice.
Sarah
