[barbra]

#1060103

I’m in the middle of one of those days where it seems that everything hurts.
I had the RAI two weeks ago and I’ve been feeling OK, tired around 3PM, but who doesn’t get sleepy around that time, specially since most of us wake up a few times during the night.
Today I woke up with my right eye crusted shut and it looks infected, the cough I retained from my last cold is worse today and hurts my throat and I’ve got a giant headache. My left arm, which has some kind of nerve damage from a fall in January aches like a bad tooth and the dog seems to be very needy today and is driving me nuts.
So, I am sitting here feeling sorry for myself.
I know that most of you guys are probably much worse off, but I need someone to say: Buck up! Quit whining! Get yourself together!

So, would you, please?

I am sending hugs, though, I’m not quite that far gone yet.

Barbra.

[Boomer]

#1180405

Buck up! Quit whin……… nah baloney!!! With a couple days like you just described I think it’s fair to say you’ve earned a “mad at the world” day don’t you?

I just had RAI three weeks ago tomorrow and to be honest I’m feeling pretty lousy myself. I’m still feeling very positive and hopeful, though, and I hope you are too in between bouts of self-pity. That is how it’s been for me too: up, down, blah, lather, rinse, repeat…

If all goes well the next big event for both of us will be a bit of a non-event. I’m pretty sure no bells or sirens go off once these darn thyroids stop doing what they do. Kind of anti-climactic when ya think about it huh?

Hang in there Barbra! I think it is perfectly normal to have (more than) one of those days now and then. I mean hey- our bodies have been going through heck and of course that affects the mind and the spirit too. It’s okay, you’re okay, and I’d feel safe in saying that if you DIDN’T have a day like this something woud be wrong with ya. Although we’re all unique we’re all also very much the same – it’s hard for all of us but it can and it will get better.

It WILL get better right? RIGHT? Tell me it’s gonna get better!!!!!!!!

*whew!* okay breathe Boomer breathe…. Gee- I guess I just had one of those days too

Hang tough, champ, and dont forget that your thyroid might be winning this little battle but YOU are gonna win the war.

Health and happiness to you!

Boomer

[Gabe]

#1180406

I think you deserve a good whine or maybe a good wine!! It’s OK and to be expected. We aren’t super-people..things get to us and bad days happen. I bet tomorrow will be better and if not maybe the next day. I hope you have a good day soon…. When all else fails, read Boomers posts and I bet you’ll crack a smile!

Cheers,

Karen

[barbra]

#1180407

Ah, Boomer, you are a read for sore eyes.
Thanks for your kind words. I am hoping that it will get better and I’ll take your word for it. I know it’s too early for a change towards hypo and I think my eye is also a left-over from that cold. As for the headaches – I’ve been getting a few lately.
Since you are a week ahead of me it’ll be interesting to see how long it’ll take to kill that bothersome thyroid.
You know after the RAI I really wanted to go to the airport and stir up some excitement, but nowadays we’re talking bail and stuff, since they have no sense of humor. In my much younger days it would have been fun.

Hi Karen, thank you as well for taking time out for me. You’re a gem. Wine would be great, but I haven’t had any in 7 years, due to my husband’s cancer he was not allowed to drink, which means one glass would put me right over the edge.

You made me feel better.
Thanks for always being there.

Barbra.

[snelsen]

#1180408

Holy crap, Barbra,
the thing about all of this Graves’/TED stuff, is that it is really, really, really friggin’ HARD! We have been through SO MUCH. It is a see/saw trying to get to that doggone “sweet spot “that you hear about. But it happens. It really does. And it will.

I imagine the headache and grungy eye will resolve. But you eye definitely should be seen if it is not better.
Wouldn’t it bE WONDERFUL if you, Boomer, Gabe and some of the other regulars COULD get together for a glass of wine, for those of us who would love that, and a can of Izzy soda for the rest of you. It would be SO SO SO great to meet!

I have a small whine too. With the abysmal outcome of both my lower lid surgeries with grafts from my mouth, another complication that is presenting itself in a potentially serious way, is that with the lower lid displacement, my eyelashes grow INTO my eye, acting like a foreign body, and scratching my cornea. So now i go to have them yanked out. Then they grow back.
This is addition to taping my eyes closed at night because they do not close.
All of this scares me to death, for though I am quite old, I can do all the things that are necessary to keep myself out of trouble with my eyes. But what if I can’t? NOONE will understand any of this AT ALL. Nada. And whe I saw a doc at Harborview today, it was made clear that “you just can’t come here every five weeks when you eyelashes bother your cornea.”
Hmm. Well, what am I supposed to do? They tell me that I am at risk for corneal abrasion and then corneal transplants, then the eyelashes can abrade the new corneas, too. But she made it clear that this was a bother,and her time was to busy to be doing this kind of thing. But what about ME!!

I really want to meet all of you.
I was planning to ask you to be my honorary husband, Boomer, but then realized two of my kids are older than you are. So…you heard it here first, with Barbra and Gabe as witnesses.
“will you be my honorary son?” Or, if you prefer, I will be your honorary second mother. Gabe and barbra can be my honorary much younger sisters. I am an only child.

OK. Enough. Gonna tape my eyes closed, let NPR lull me to sleep.
Shirley

[Boomer]

#1180409

I’ll drink to that!

I’d be right under the table ith ya’ll as I don’t drink any more either. “I don’t drink any more (but don’t drink any less)” is how the sayng goes…..

But in all seriousness: I don’t drink but the other day, I don’t know if it was a moment of feeling sorry for myself and I think there was some generalised anger in there too, but I really thought that I wanted to have a drink. There’s a bottle of 100 proof vodka in the cupboard that has been there for years – it was bought and used to make an herbal tincture and once the ounce or two was used there it has sat. I never even liked vodka in my drinking days but if I’d have kept thinking about it it would have started to sound good! Of course I’d be feeling awful had I actually drank some but boy the temptation was there as long as I was willing to entertain the thought.

Crazy thinking huh? “I feel awful – I’ll drink this booze (that will make me feel awful) and that’ll really show ’em!”. I have no idea who “them” even is! In any case I just wanted to share this example of how mixed up my thinking can get when I get too caught up in self-pity or “self” of any kind in excess. I think it a happen to anyone huh?

That whole ordeal with the snooty doctor regarding your lashes, Shirley, would have really gotten under my skin. In fact just reading about your exprience made me angry towards the doctor- why in the heck would you go in to be seen if you didn’t absolutely need to?

Earth To Doctors: We’re Graves patients- We’re sick of doctors, of blood tests, and of pills pills pills, and we are absolutely sick and tired of waiting rooms and especially your crappy outdated magazines. We’re not here for Viagra or to eliminate that pesky zit that is oh-so-troubling. We’re here because we have no other choice. Should you find us in your office do us both a favor – listen to us closely as we know our bodies better than you do, treat us according to our needs and wishes not your tables and charts and “as per your calculations”, and remember who you work for: Us. The sooner you do your job (treating us) the sooner we will ambulate the hell right out of your office and you can get back to the important work of writing Viagra scipts and telling new mothers that babies are supposed to cry.

/rant mode=off

Sure, ladies, I’ll be your honorary son, brother, husband, drinking partner, or golf pro. I’ve never actually golfed but I’ve alwys thought that “Golf pro” would be a great cover story for “laxy bum”. you know- looks better on a resume’… I promise to not make you regret adopting me for oh, say, at least the first week.

Since I had the RAI the other day I’d had to go to the airport twice. I didn’t go in- just rode along as we dropped off and picked up a friend. Believe it or not he triggered a radiation detector when he was in line for security! He shook my hand as he hopped out of the truck and they ended up swabbing the same hand to test for nuclear stuff and/or explosives. Holy cow it had been two weeks to the day by that point- can’t you imagine the bells and whistles that would have gone off had I walked inside? Wow! It is SO tempting!
I’m thinking that to raise hell at the airport with ya would be a blast but I’m not doing it alone- I need a partner in crime! Ill pick both of you gals up at 11:00. you bring the TP and the eggs and I’ve got the vodka covered. The Radioactive Vandals® shall strike swiftly and without warning! Then we’ll need a bathroom break and naps…

We’ll show them, huh?

Hang tough, ya’ll, and I will too. It’s gonna be a hot one so don’t leave grandma in the car.

Happy happy healthy healthy,

Boomer

[barbra]

#1180410

Hi Shirley,

I appreciate you listening to me prattle on about little aches and pains when you’re dealing with the real stuff. I am so sorry, Honey, and I wish there was something I could do. To tell you the honest truth, I hope I’ll never be in your shoes, you’re a much stronger person than I am. Compared to the issues you’re dealing with I should be dancing a jig. And you are very kind in not pointing it out.
Why are some doctors such insensitive jerks? I agree with Boomer. Just reading about your doctor’s attitude makes me angry.
I’ll be happy to be your sister, although the “much younger” part would be a lie since I have 3 sons in their middle 40s.
The getting together thing would be great and I would surely risk the wine if you all would risk the consequences. Oh, to be young and stupid again!

And, Boomer, if you bring the Vodka please don’t forget the Orange juice because, unless we’re drinking it out of a paper bag, we’ll need juice.
Love the airport story! And since I’m grandma I’ll make sure I get out of the car.

Hugs.
Barbra.

[Kimberly]

#1180411

@Barbra – Hope that you are having a better day today! Agree with Shirley that it’s worth getting that eye checked out if you don’t start to see some relief ASAP.

@Shirley – Wow, the eyelash issue is a complication of TED that I’ve never thought of. SO sorry that the doc was clueless and insensitive. With the University there, do you have other options for eye care? Also, you would think that the surgeon who did your lower lids would be willing to help you with some resources, since this was a problem that cropped up after surgery.

[Gabe]

#1180412

Shirley, you’ve been such a rock for all of us on this forum. It’s makes me angry and sad to hear about your eye issues and the jerk who said those things to you. I’ve never heard of this issue. Can you get in with one of these big eye institutes so they can help you? Having your eyelashes pulled..jeez and ouch.

Gotta say, GD was bad but this TED stuff has me terrified. Double vision is very bad, back to specialist tomorrow to hear more bad news I’m sure. I watched all the GDATF YouTube TED videos last night and couldn’t sleep it was so disturbing.

Would love to meet all of you. I’m on the east coast but will travel anywhere. Hopefully many of us can meet up at the next conference (when is that?)

Hugs, Karen

[Redmom]

#1180413

Hi Barbra, I think everyone who is dealing with this type of thing deserves a day or two of complaining! I was diagnosed 26 years ago and had RAI shortly thereafter. While most of the time I feel pretty well, I do have days that suck! I try to keep a positive attitude for the most part. I still have bad days and really good days. Keep your chin up. By the way, I take Glucosamine for my aches and arthritis. It seems to help. I hope you have better days ahead soon

[Robboford]

#1180414

Shirley,
You are more than entitled to have a whine or 2 or 3. You have been an amazing rock of strength to me and many others on this journey. Some of these “so called” medical professionals that we have all encountered must have learned their bedside manners from god knows where (Corn Flake packets maybe), but I am a true believer in what goes around comes around. I don’t wish Graves’ or TED on anyone, but one day they will experience their own medical issues and will see life from our perspective. I don’t want to offend you and although I am 47 (most days I don’t feel that old), but can I be an honorary granddaughter? You sound like you would make an excellent groovy grandma, and one day I am hoping to attend one of the conferences over there and get a chance to meet all you wonderful, wonderful souls who have helped me, inspired me, educated me and at times given me the courage and the belief that I can come through this crap journey with my sanity intact. You truly are inspirational, hang in there any maybe one day when I win the Lottery I can shout you a trip over to our wonderful land Down Under.
Cheers, hugs and kisses
Deb

[Robboford]

#1180415

Hi Barbra,
I hope you have had a couple of better days. We all have those crap days you described and this Forum is great place to vent, whine or rant. Hang in there, hopefully those crap days became fewer and further between and you have now given yourself a good talking too and have re-energised your fighting spirit. Seriously though, we all have them and it is very difficult for others who have not experienced Graves’ to truly understand what everyday life is like for us all. Hang in there and stay strong.
Cheers hugs and kisses
Deb

[SueAndHerZoo]

#1180416

Oh damn…. staying up long enough to try to catch up on posts here and am very saddened to see so many issues and challenges. It’s just not fair, and I know people always say life isn’t fair but half of them really have no clue what they’re talking about. I have some friends and family members who seem to have pretty much drifted through life unscathed by any major issues and they just don’t realize that the whole world isn’t that lucky. I certainly do, and I so sympathize with anyone who’s dealing with health issues of any kind.

By the way, I’m all for whining and feeling sorry for ourselves. Damn it, we deserve it! Why should we have to be the strong, conquering warriors all the time! Give me a good ol’ Pity Pot Party anytime….. I’m there! I hate being around people who are always farting rainbows. LOL

I have no idea what my journey will be like after surgery yesterday (was that yesterday? It feels like today – all running together) but I’m sure I will find the support or at least the sympathy I need here.

Thank you all. Let’s feel free to whine whenever the mood strikes!
Sue

[barbra]

#1180417

@ Sue,

I am so happy that your ordeal at the hospital is over and you’re home getting better every day. I wish you the very best, coming to you from the hotter than blazes East Coast.

I am OK again, the stye on my eye is down to just a pink spot, no headache and my arm isn’t too bad either. So, no whining or complaining today.
I really appreciate all the support even for my little stuff.

@ Deb,

My husband and I talked about a trip Down Under but we never got around to it. Too bad. It would have been fantastic, no doubt.

Hugs.
Barbra.

[snelsen]

#1180418

To Barbra-SO glad all is better for you. Good to hear. I am going to the Midwest in August for a few days to revel in the heat and humidity, and the wonderful Iowa tomatoes and corn. It’s my heritage and it is home. We don’t have lightning bugs, cicadas, mosquitoes, or frogs. I miss those night sounds!
However, I love Seattle. A lot.

To Deb-SOLD! You can be either a granddaughter or a daughter. Might be a bit of a stretch to be a granddaughter, though. My oldest is 54, which means he was a dad when he was six years old. But I’m open to either option!
Thank you for your thoughts and support. TED has been very, very rough, and continues to be a negative factor in my life every day.
I am exploring the eye doc world for a more compassionate one who is familiar with what I need.

I would LOVE to visit your part of the world. I think, from Seattle, we go OVER the pole, but now sure about that. I do know that it is a long, long flight. But well worth it. My friends just returned from six weeks in both New Zealand and Australia, and they did NOT want to come home! Loved it!

Sue-did you clear your throat yet? Shower? TAKE IT EASY!

SHIRLEY

[Author]

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