[DianneW]

#1073935

Wow! That’s a lot! I’ve been the mother of teens who didn’t have Graves’ Disease, and I can guarantee you that they are moody and unpleasant a lot of the time even without THAT to deal with, so I can’t even imagine what your family is going through. (And my kids were basically good kids, honor students, not trouble-makers at all.)

Remembering how I behaved before, and for a time after treatment, I do believe it IS very much the Graves’ Disease though. That doesn’t mean it’s wrong for you to be angry at her behavior. We’re all still responsible for how we behave, in my opinion. The disease doesn’t give us license to abuse people. Apologies are in order when we behave badly, and I hope as her parent you will still enforce normal standards of behavior, with allowances for her health condition. That doesn’t mean you need to mete out harsh punishments, because under the circumstances she does have a reason for losing control when she does, and it’s reasonable to make allowances for that which you wouldn’t make for a healthy child. You might decide to accept her apology as good enough, or decide on other light consequences, but in my opinion she shouldn’t be allowed to be mean without accountability to everyone simply because of this disease. She can work on techniques for controlling her difficult emotions without taking it out on her family. If she’s having trouble, counseling is in order. (She can first try the standard counting-to-ten technique. It helped me.)

If you can afford it, family counseling with someone who is familiar with the effects of chronic disease on a family would probably do everyone a lot of good. I know from experience that it can be difficult to get a teenager to go to that kind of thing, however.

You didn’t say how long your daughter has been receiving treatment, but I think you’ll find the situation improves a lot the longer her treatment progresses. If she’s been untreated a long time it may take awhile for her to stabilize, but you may find when she heals from the effects that she’s a different (and more enjoyable) daughter than you realized. I really hope so, and wish you the best. In the meantime, hang in there! I know it can’t be easy.

[amyl]

#1073936

Hi Quinn,
My son is 16 and has Graves. Usually, he is delightful and very respectful but today, he’s just plain MEAN. He’s been feeling really lousy for over a month now and I just started him with a new doctor. She ordered a blood test yesterday that indicates he may be having trouble with his gall bladder. She’s given him some new meds and ordered an ultrasound for tomorrow. My son is angry because this is exactly what every new doctor does….they order new tests and change his meds. I understand how frustrating that can be but I really like this doctor and am so hopeful that she’ll be able to help him. Unfortunately, I’ve been encouraged by every new doctor, in the beginning, and then we don’t get any answers or worse, they say they can’t help us. I feel like Charlie Brown and Lucy when Lucy is trying to convince Charlie that she really will hold the football so he can kick it. Then of course, at the last minute, she yanks it away. This is a horrible disease…period!!! Healthy teenagers have such a hard time getting through life, sick teens just have too much to deal with. They handle it any way they can. I’m sure as your daughter gets older, she’ll find better ways of coping but for now, bad behavior may be the only way she can deal with it. I try to give my kids some extra room when they’re angry, but I’ll only let them go so far and then I end it. Everybody gets upset and cranky when they’re sick but being purposely hurtful isn’t allowed in my book. Does your daughter confide in you or anybody else? My son likes to talk to his friends so I try to give him every opportunity to do that. Maybe your daughter has a teammate that she can talk to or maybe somebody from school. I know it’s hard and you sound like a great Mom. Try to hang in there and know that you are NOT alone. Even healthy teens can be mean….it kind of goes with the territory ” title=”Smile” />
We moms need to stick together ” title=”Smile” />
Amy

[Qdulany]

#1019768

Hello,

I am the mother of a 17 year old girl with Graves disease. My daughter must have had this condition for some time. In 9th grade she was ill with strep throat for 30 days straight. Her GPA in school is around 2.2. She plays very competitive soccer and is a goalkeeper. For a many years I she would wake up and her eyes would be extremely bloodshot. I actually took her to the doctors when she was young because I thought she was diabetic. She would have "accidents" and not be able to hold her urine at times. This past summer she lost around 25-30 lbs. She is incredibly moody and downright mean to everyone. She doesn’t have any energy, doesn’t go out. She only plays soccer. She goes to practice at least 3 times per week and I think she may have had 2 weeks off through out the past 2 years. I don’t push her to play or practice this hard, she loves doing what she does. I don’t want to stop her because it is all that she does socially.

Right now she is on 5mgs of methimazole. She has only gained approximately 6 or 7 lbs back. She goes through periods of not wanting to eat anything, as she has always been a picky eater. I am trying to get her to eat a healthy diet, but at this point, I let her eat what she wants just to get something in her. This disease has effected our entire family. My heart hurts for my daughter and I can’t help but get angry at her when she is so downright mean. Is there any advice that anyone can give me so that our family can help her heal? People really don’t understand how devastating this disease is and how hard it can be to deal with someone who has it. People tell me that her emotionally instability can not be completely related to the graves, but reading posts here, I do believe that it is the graves.

Thank you all in advance for any and all suggestions you may have.

Quinn

[Author]

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