[gemsile]

#1074636

you’re in my prayers. I’m sorry its been so hard for you. hopefully you can find some help and support on here.

[Punkin]

#1019864

Greetings, I joined this site last year in October, but at the time I was not able to find my way around to post anything. I’m not even sure how this works yet, but I will figure it out. Sorry, I am getting a bit stuck here mentally. I was diagnosed with Graves’ about 2 years ago. I was afraid to do the RI. Not having a thyroid scared me. In the last 8 or 9 years (maybe most my life) I have gone back & forth from being hyper, to hypo and now Graves’. With my endo Dr. we tried to manage it with Tapazol and atenolol, but it just kept getting worse. I finally had the I-131 treatment in June of this year. It didnt seem to do anything, in fact it seemed to get worse. I was taking 50 mg atenolol every 8 hours and that didnt feel like enough. I had a second dose in November. Waiting to see how it goes this time.

I FELT LIKE I WAS GOING TO EXPLODE. My emoations were so off track. I had no control. Where I live there are no support groups, no one for me to talk to. My family is in another state. My husband totally shut me out because he couldnt deal with my attitude. He just could not believe anyone could be so out of control. He would not talk to me, he lived in the basement except at night he would close the door to our bedroom, so I took to sleeping in the spare room. On the weekends he would just leave and go hunting, I think. He would leave me notes, usually on the back of an envelope. I told him once, because he asked, how he could help me. Be kind, talk or listen, be there, hold me and help me get past the hard part, let me know I was not alone and I was loved. He sorta tried a time or two, but he felt he did not deserve to be treated so mean. He insisted I could control my emotions therefor I ment the things I said. I dont even remember alot of what I said. Wow, this just sounds crazy. I havnt really put this into words before. I feel overwhelmed. who ever reads this, I dont even know you, but maybe I do. Not your name or anything its just, Im not alone anymore. Thanks for being there.
Punkin

[Bobbi]

#1074637

First off, we do in fact become more emotionally volatile while having the thyroid hormone out of whack. And yo-yoing. You absolutely cannot trust your emotional responses right now. They are not necessarily valid. Or if they are valid, they are often hugely out-of-proportion with the situation. Someone here on the board long ago told me she had found a refrigerator magnet that said "zero to bitch in 10 seconds." It is a reality. It doesn’t make it OK, however to batter our friends and family with these out-of-control emotions. We have to find a manner of coping with the emotions that doesn’t inflict hurt on those we love. This situation is not permanent: once our thyroid levels get back to normal, and our bodies have had a chance to heal, the emotional volatility subsides. The damage our hurtful behavior does, however, can persist. So it is absolutely in our own best interests to find a way to bring our emotions into closer relationship with reality as much as possible by recognizing our own huge piece of whatever problem is going on. WE are often the problem, in other words, not them.

One of the things that I would do when I felt the emotions roiling up was to back off and find a way to say an "I" message. I would flatly state, "I know this is not your doing, but I am so upset about…." or words to that effect, instead of "How could you not know that I wanted……" (That second one is a "you" message.) And then burst into tears. An "I" message does not attack the person directly, the way a "you" message does. It can make a huge difference in how the other person responds to the issue.

In addition to the "I" messages (which can help to deflect the emotions off the target), I would suggest that you consider getting counseling, if your insurance will pay for it, or if you can afford it. Counselors are trained to listen without taking offense. The are also trained at helping us to see who "owns" the problem. just because we get angry with someone about something does not mean that they are the problem: we might be the problem and being able to distinguish is hugely helpful.

Another thing that helped me and my husband was the book "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus." This is a popular psychology book from about 15 years ago, that contains some golden nuggets of truth. While I do not buy into the whole "men behave in this manner, while women behave totally differently" as an absolute truth, the book did indeed describe aspects of my husband’s and my thinking that proved helpful. You might want to get it from the library. It’s an easy read, but it definitely gave me some insights into my husband’s behavior (and vice versa) which smoothed many a potentially troubled time.

I hope today is a good day,

[Brenda_Carr]

#1074638

Hi Punkin,

I can really relate to your situation. The emotional rollercoaster is really frustrating and it has totally affected my life. I am a professional working in education for the past 24 years. Specifically, I worked with state and federal funded programs, developing resources, facilitating support groups, developing reporting systems and the list goes on. I was also a Union leader for 13 of these years….even though it took 3 years for the doctors to diagnois the disease, it seems like overnight my life changed and I was pushed into retirement because of the emotional rollercoaster…..

Relationships are difficult because at times I would just break out in tears and could not control them, it made people very unconfortable because they weren’t sure what to say to me or how to say it.

I did have the radiation treatment done in November 2007, I agreed because the doctors could not get my heart rate to slow down and was fearful that I was a heart attack waiting to happen…..

I am on thyroid meds today, but I also meditate once a day at least 1/2 hour, I walk on a treadmill at least 1/2 hour, I take a oil/ebzene salt bath once a day, I write and I meet with a counselor once a week to discuss my emotional ups and downs. These things seem to help me.

My doctors have told me that this disease is a 3 year bell. I am hoping I am on the down side….but it is only the first year for me since the diagnosis and treatment..

Please be patient with yourself…

Brenda

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