[Ski]

#1070518

Oh dear, I am so sorry you have to deal with this! It’s common for family members to think we can just "get over it," they say "don’t let it keep you down," etc. etc. I think if she really understood the mechanics of this disease, she wouldn’t be making comments like that ~ but of course, if you try to let her in on the information, she may just interpret that as you making another "excuse." I don’t have a magic answer to help her understand, I wish I did. If there is ANY way you can get information in front of her to read, try to find things that will resonate with her ~ either things other people have said that mirror how you feel, or technical data that explains what your body is going through right now. It’s ALMOST a shame that we don’t look worse when we feel so badly. Almost. ” title=”Wink” />

I know it hurts. It might help just to remember that she’s saying those things because she doesn’t understand, and if she did, she’d act differently. I hope she would. Parents can get twisted up in all kinds of tortured logic, and they think they’re doing the right thing.

I will keep hoping the two of you can come to a better understanding, somehow. In the meantime, {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{hug}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

And I hope you can find some peace. Strength, my friend.

[Hopeful23]

#1019280

to suck it up and deal with it. im always complaining and boo hooing about everything. she yells at me for not wrking and being lazy. i am worthless and this and that. i moved back home for help not for her to put me down. im trying to let it go in one ear and right out the other but it hurts really bad. i dont have any where to go and i dont have the job to do it on my own. i mean i am trying so hard she acts like im getting something out of this. she said she kept going when she was dealing with her anxiety. o tryed to tell her its differenr and she says hers was worse and grow up. how could she say this stuff to me. ugh. im sorry. i just have no one else to talk to that really understands me..THANKS for listening

[hyperm]

#1070519

Hey,

I am so sorry you are having to go through this as well as being unwell. I don’t want to run your mum down but I am surprised that someone who has had anxiety would not be overly sympathetic with regards to your condition. Like Ski says ( a wise woman ” title=”Smile” /> ) it would be beneficial for her to read up on this condition but whether she will accept that as a means to trying to understand your condition I am not sure. Would she come along to an endo appointment with you?

I have a very supportive mum who had a terrible menopause so appreciates the hormonal fatigue and anxiety etc.. I have however had colleagues etc making snipe remarks! ” title=”Sad” />

Like Ski I don’t have an answer but we are all here for support.

M xxx

[kaicee118]

#1070520

I also have a mother who thinks that since she has driven herself into the ground with her anxiety, that’s what everyone else should do! Why talk about anything…no one can do anything to help you anyway (her philosophy, not mine!) But hang in there. I’m 46 and, although it still bothers me, it gets easier to deal with as you get older. Concentrate as much as you can now on getting well.

Karen

[ewmb]

#1070521

Being a mom myself I can’t imagine that I wouldn’t try to find out about something that has affected a child of mine. My mom has been supportive even though my father has Graves too and didn’t have the symptoms that I have had. Maybe giving your Mom a book to read or asking her to come with you to the next appointment would be helpful. The fact that you have had to "kill off your thyroid" with RAI doesn’t seem to have had any impact?

How are you feeling by the way now? Have you hit a dumping phase yet? I am at five weeks today and for the first time my heart rate was 78 this morning! Good times will be coming for you too. My emotions have been all over the place too during my recovery from the RAI. I cry at the smallest things sometimes and then I’m fine the next day.

Hope that your Mom can come to some understanding with you even if she doesn’t get it so much. Are you planning on moving back out?

ewmb

[Hopeful23]

#1070522

omg, you all are amazing and hit it on the spot with everything. I cant thank you enough.

I am trying to move out as soon as possible but I just cant right now. I am in week 4 as of yesterday. Yeah, I think i’m past my ‘dumping’ phase. I was there for about a week really hyper. Now my tremors i cant remember the last time i had NOTICEABLE ones so I guess thats a good sign. My thyroid really went down in swelling but has stopped but I don’t chock on it anymore LOL. <Thats always a plus> I scheduled my classes for August Fall 09. I usually would say okay so not next semester either. That gave me a good sign that i was getting a better ‘future’ thought process:) My next appt is June 30th at 145p. As far as how i have been feeling is kind up and down. I still am emotional easy LOL. I do cry and am fine later or the next day too. Ugh, this is so crazy isn’t it:( I read up on other autoimmune disease and have been in panic lately so im sure that hasn’t been good on my mood. I have gone to a gluten free diet (okay, okay does one box of gluten free chex count) HA HA. I dont know how people with celiac disease EAT omg, everything has the gluten wheat protein in it. I am asking my endo to send me to a Nutritionist cause im a VERY VERY picky eater and i just want to be healthy cause my diet is PASTA, BREAD, POP AND FUDGE ROUNDS. Since my rai i have packed on about 10lbs WTF. I hope i loose it plus when im on synthroid cause my NORMAL WEIGHT before all this was about 112. Ill be fine in the 120’s but nothing more ill look weird cause of my frame and athletic shape ” title=”Sad” /> oh kay, ill stop rambling now i guess. Thanks again you all have helped me remember that im not this way cause im coping out or choose to be lol… <<<<<<Muah>>>>>

<<<<<<<<<<HUGS BACK TO YOU ALL>>>>>>>>>>

[SarahL]

#1070523

Wow, Hopeful, sounds like we could have the same mother! I also have a sister who is a constant discouragement. "Just get off your butt and get a job, and that’ll make you feel better!" "When you have a symptom that I haven’t had yet, then I’ll listen to you!" "I have to get up and work everyday, even when I feel bad, and you don’t see me complaining."

After awhile if all sounds like "Blah Blah Blah Blah…" I was diagnosed in April, after 18 months of symptoms, and still am not being treated (other than beta blocker and diuretic). It is 5 weeks until my endo appointment. My muscles are totally gone. I can’t even carry in groceries, but my 14 year old helps. I had to go the ER last week for an anaphylactic reaction to something, they don’t know what, but said they thought the hyperthyroidism played a part. Their remedy was to take Benadryl every 4-6 hours for the next 5 weeks until my appointment. And of course, my family thinks I overreacted. My throat was almost swollen shut, I started violently vomiting, My pulse was 200, but of course, I was making a big deal out of nothing….. It is so frustrating! I had to drive myself the 15 miles to the hospital! And my family is educated on medical things, my sister is a nurse practicioner, my dad was a doctor, I am an RN.

So I really comiserate with you on the family thing! I do not live with my mother, but live 1 mile from her in a house that she owns, and pays utilities on. I have worked to develop a support system outside my family, through church and a Celebrate Recovery group, so I do have others to turn to, however, no one else suffering with Graves. I have really appreciated the information gained from this board, and have learned so much. I am proud to be a part of this community.

Hang in there Hopeful, I know how you feel, and just know it will not last forever. I believe you are well on your way. I look forward to beginning my own treatment, and learning from your experience.

[ewmb]

#1070524

SarahL.
I would call the endo’s office and tell them that you need to be seen earlier. Tell them what happened about your throat and that you know that they have emergency appointments built in to their system and you’d like one. I always try to say things like I am hoping you can help me out and I know that things are tight with the doctor’s schedule but I need you to understand my situation. If you can go any time that they offer so much the better. If they won’t see you then maybe you should try and find another endo who will see you sooner if possible. I know that insurance etc. can be a bother.

I wouldn’t be comfortable waiting the five weeks to see someone. Maybe your GP can help you with an emergency referral.

Good luck.
ewmb

[RhondaG4]

#1070525

Sarah,
I’m so sorry you have to go thru that, but the bright side is you can consider us as part of your family now…if that helps at all??

I have a 21…almost 22 year old daughter. One of the first things I did was ask my mom, and my older daughter to get tested, as some say maybe GD is in the genes. My little girls peds doc even ordered blood work on them.

Here is a thought. Maybe mention to mom that her anxiety all these years could be connected to GD, and ask her to go with you to your next endo appt to find out some more info and to see maybe if she needs to be tested. A sneaky way to get info into her, but it just might work. And maybe if you have a printer and can find info on the net about the possiable genitic link, maybe print that off and leave it on the table accidently????

In the meantime, we are all here for you. We all have either gone thru it, are going thru, or will be going thru. Reminds me of the Ark….we are all in the same boat…..just some of us are still down below with the stinky mess the animals make, and some have been able to get top deck for some fresh air. Having a "lion" roaring in your ear doesn’t help I know.

Hopefully this site and the wonderful people here can be a set of bellows for you to push some fresh air down to you, until your well enough to climb up. Lots of hugs to you and I hope this helps some. Rhonda

[Hopeful23]

#1070526

oh wow. you really need to get in earlier. its state law all dr offices have to set aside emergency spots for situatons like u. i am sorry u had to go thru all that. i hope u get ur rai scheduled when u get ur appt. u have been sick long enough. im worried about u. even at my sickest i didnt have extreme weakness that rendered me like that and my endo was shocked i was sitting infront of him. i really recommend rai. just my advice though.. u need to get better my love… oh my i remember when i wasnt diagnosed i wouldnt go any where that a hosp wasnt in clear view. i bet u were so scared. i would have been. you seem to be so strong. Bless u. all i know is u all are my strength when people compliment me on staying strong i always say its my gd foundation…i wish we all lived on the same block.haha. … STAY STRONG AND GET QN APPT THIS WEEK.

[mamabear]

#1070527

My mom taught me if you have nothing nice to say to shut up! Hmmmm wonder if you mom would mind you saying that to her? ROFL!!! Ok did you laugh? Hope you weren’t drinking something when you read it.

I can not think of a mom that would not be supportive of a child at any age. My mother in law still asks about her "baby" and brings food and clothes over to us. I adore it and don’t find it at all offensive and truly welcome that kind of love adoration for a child and he’s 43 !!!! SHe also has a daughter who’s 40 and does the same and including all grandkids well that’s a 6 pack right there between my 4 and her 2.

Does she not have compassion? Oh wait more importantly and this isn’t an excuse but I have to say it…is she in her 70’s, i have found that many women in their 70’s in this day and age are very very nasty actually bitter is a better word.

OR she is so upset that you are sick and doesn’t understand it that she wants you to get up and be better again so she doesn’t have to think that there is something wrong with you. You said she has anxiety so this might be effecting her and if she is on meds she might need to consider that your illness is causing her stress.

Men and moms tend to go the get up and move route when their wife/daughter are sick because they have no clue how to help. It’s like having the hero syndrome, if I can’t fix you you better get up and get better so I don’t have to see myself as a failure.

Just guessing here but hope it helps. Oh if you want I can PM you a letter to your mom and talk to her, I promise to be sweet !!! LOL

Hugs to you and hope you are truly doing better! Your mom needs to maybe go with your to the dr. or have a brochure given to her about this disease. Ummm did any other family member have it on her side or dads side?

Prayers and hugs!!

[Kimberly]

#1070528

Hello,

If your mom would be open to reading a quick story, you might share "The Spoon Theory" with her. It was developed by a patient living with lupus who got frustrated trying to explain her situation to friends and family because she didn’t "look sick".

http://www.butyoudontlooksick.com/navig … Theory.pdf

Hope this helps!

[npatterson]

#1070529

I am so sorry to hear this–from so many of you. I always hear about families not understanding….! It is SO hard to continue to try to convince people, and add to that the fact that we get totally tired of talking about it anyway!

If you can come to the conference, we focus on this a great deal. If you can get your mother (or any family member) to come, there are workshops for only them. They get a chance to verbalize, and then hear from others (who DO know)!

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((( HUG ))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

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