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I would like to say this first… I know you wont want to hear it but having had to wait it out myself I will tell you the same thing.
You DO NOT want to be pregnant with your Thyroid levels not fixed first. Your two boys are whom you have right now in your life and putting yourself at risk will not help them have a good life and a mom in their future. Please I beg you not to try for children during this time, I am surrprised that your Dr. didn’t advise against it or even say that you should protection to help ensure that you dont get pregnant.
GD and pregnancy doesn’t mix especially if you are feeling all of these feelings and not feeling well. Add a pregnancy to that and you have a poor pregnancy, two little boys who have no clue what is going on and the possibility of a m/c.
I wish I could just take a cool washcloth and wipe your face for you and wet your hair down and say everything is going to be ok. Since I can’t be there to do that you will have to do it. Go wash your face with cold water….go on now i’ll wait…………………….. yes i meant it so go ahead i’m not going anywhere…………….
……………….. Ok now that your face is wiped off take a deep breathe…yep go ahead….Breathe in really deep then let it out…. OK now go to the mirror and look at your face…yes I’ll be waiting here go ahead..Don’t even think of reading this whole thing then going and doing it…So go now and go look at yourself in the mirror for a minute and laugh that I am making you do this and then come back to the computer.Ok so what did you see in the mirror? Yes you saw a 28 year old that doesn’t have any makeup on and it looks like someone erased her face because she is as pale as a banana peal. Yep I said it you can keep the look of shock on your face for a minute till that soaks in. Are you laughing yet, you should be?
Ok so since you feel like crap we tend as females to look the way we feel. Yes I do the same thing. Having a routine in the morning will help you focus on your day instead of sitting around feeling sorry for the things you can not do. This is not a lecture…. this is advice from someone who use to sit around feeling sorry for myself and realized wow that I needed to do something about it and like you said be thankful for what I already have. Not saying that wanting more is horrible because it isn’t. Having little babies all around you are wonderful but right now you can not and should not try to get pregnant because you know the end result will be bad and why put yourself through that? Your TSH level and other levels need to be in a good range to get pregnant anyway, GS causes temporary infertility but you can also still get pregnant and that would be so bad for you and baby.
Coming to terms with healing yourself first then thinking of getting pregnant later on will be healthier for you. I know you might think that you are too old or don’t want to be older when you have your next one but honestly I am 35 and have 4 , last one was when I was 32. My mom was very young(17 with sister and 18 with me) when she has us and my set was that I was too old to have more. Then i started talking to old friends from school who are just starting their families at 35. I was shocked, I didn’t want to be older but things happen for a reason.
Wash your face and put your makeup on, looking good makes you feel good and vise versa. Sitting around in your pj’s all day wont help you either. Get up like you have a job if you stay at home with the kids. The kids are your job and so is the house, get up and take a shower and get ready to work. Even if you still have to rest during the day you are still up and dressed and ready to go if you need to. Same with the kids, get them ready to go at a moments notice.
Just having toddlers at home to begin with is hard, add GS to it and it’s overload. Yell and vent when you need dont keep it in. You did a great job venting on here. You are not alone. I remember the anger of not being able to get pregnant or that I wasn’t supposed to and everyone around me(sister) was getting pregnant. My thoughts were why them and why do i have this and what the hell is wrong with me and why why why… Once I got over my pitty party which I thought I did a great job of having for myself
, I focused on kicking Graves’ Disease’s butt and if I come out of remission again I’ll kick it’s butt again and again and again. Yep that’s right, I feel that if you don’t know what is wrong with you than you can’t kick it’s butt. So you have the best thing going for you, you know what the issue is so you can start with knowing what it is and taking baby steps to help heal then think about the next baby you would like have and in the meantime enjoy the ones that you have (and yes in the middle of all of this you can still have a bad day and feel like the whole world is crashing in on you).Wanting something so much, like having a child hurts when something like a disease dictates when you can have it.
You need to heal, let the medicine help you overcome this and put your body back to where it will be healthy. Let your MIL and husband help you as much as they are able to.
If he needs to come on here and talk about this as well let him, he might not understand what is happening to you and might be so mad that he can’t do anything about it. He might lash out in anger that you aren’t doing what you should be doing in the house but it’s not that he is mad at you, he’s mad at the Graves’ and being a man they have to fix things but he is so frustrated because he can’t fix this.
Take time for yourself and him.
Take time for yourself…………you need it and are desperate for it so just do it.
Figure out when you feel at your best then ask someone to help with the kids while you go for a walk and get the sun on your face. Or just the daylight on your face, you have to get out of the house, drag your butt off the couch and go sit on the stoop/porch for 10 minutes a day.I’m not saying don’t feel the way you do, you have a right to be angry/sad/happy… I’m saying that your babies need you now, your husband needs a healthy wife and mother and you need to be strong for your children that are on this earth now. It took a while for me to figure that out but I guess time and age help you put things into perspective and where priorities are. At the time I was mad as hell for not being able to do what I wanted, but I had a huge support system in my husband and I still do with him because having 4 kids is a big thing even though my GS is in remission.
Keeping talking about it and getting it out.
((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))Hey all, yes me again having a crap day!
Everyday I am faced with how disabling this disease is – especially when you are a young mum and wife. My cousin called from Greece today – she has a little girl the same age as my youngest ( 4 months) to say she was pregnant again! I was delighted for her as they tried for 10 years to have her little girl. Anyway it just hit home as this month I too thought I was pregnant
however I’m not (just my periods all over the place because of the GD). Anyway my point being that all though the prospect of being pregnant again was exciting immediately my thoughts went to the fact that my levels are so out of control and it would be most likely I would miscarry so there was a relief when the test was negative! 
” title=”Sad” /> My friends are all getting on with their lives and meeting up for meals etc which I simply can’t go along too.! my hubby had arranged a surprise mothers day meal at a lovely restaurant and he had to call and cancel as I was too unwell on the day
” title=”Sad” /> I know this sounds like a moan and I know i have so much to be grateful for but on the other hand at 28 years old I feel trapped. I can do nothing – I have been out once with my little boys on my own in 4 months. I can no longer help my parents (who both have poor health) and had to call the local social work dept out to discuss options to help them as I can no longer assist!
I know many people on here offer so much positive support but for me at the moment its accepting that I am going to feel like this for some considerable time, I’m loosing any looks I had, I am still having mood swings etc,,, this disease has completely taken over my life. My MIL is coming over from Japan to help as the situation at home is so bad – struggling wise.
I WANT my life back! I don’t want to have to always think what this disease can do if I fall pregnant again or on a day to day basis of feeling so ill.
Ok rant over – sorry xx
Hey thanks.
I agree with what you say – that I don’t want to be pregnant right now and have had 2 miscarriages in the past due to GD. Its not that which is getting to me its the fact I can’t get on with my life. We all have different views on contraception etc.. and perhaps TMI but it was a one off – as feel to unwell for any kind of physical relationship
I do get up, shower etc… take my little boy to nursery (washses me out) then come home to my baby or go to my mums house. I haven’t got a choice – even though I am so exhausted (like most women ) I really don’t have a choice but I really do feel I am ready to drop. I had a thyroid storm a few months ago and I feel so lowsy and I appreciate all your help and concern – thank you.
Its just the frustration of being stuck in a body which can do NOTHING yet I have so much to do! I definitely don’t feel sorry for myself as I am an OT and appreciate what other conditions are out there etc.. and how they effect peoples lives but it doesn’t help when you are in complete adrenal burn out
” title=”Sad” /> However, tomorrow hopefully will be a calmer day. Its just a horrible feeling to see life go on around you and I have to just wait until the day comes were I feel normal. I haven’t pushed my baby in his pram etc… it may seem trivial but to me at the moment these things are really getting to me.Its also upsetting when I hear people tell me they thought I was going to die etc… thats how ill I have been – so I guess perhaps there is a traumatic side to it all and a complete loss of confidence… I was at my GP the other day so more bloods taken which indicate the PTU is finally starting to have an effect but she is keeping a really close eye on me as seemingly the results are still worrying due to the thyroid storm etc…
I really appreciate all your honesty. I waited 2 years to have my youngest after the m/c etc.. so am truly grateful but its just the fact like you say – everyone else can whoooop and celebrate the news of being pregnant whereas I am worrying about m/c or what my levels will be etc.. I am having the op as soon as they can get it under control as i have had enough of this thyroid controlling my life for the last 4 years. I suppose in a way I am grieving for what I once was – keep fit fanatic, helping my parents and an elderly aunt etc… to becoming the patient. I guess thats where part of the prayer comes in " God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.
Gosh I tell my patients that – give into the fatigue and then start to bring yourself out of it – like when your car overheats.. and here I am unable to take that advice.
thanks once again – you are very kind to write such a long post to a luney like me.
M xx
hyperm wrote:Hey thanks.I agree with what you say – that I don’t want to be pregnant right now and have had 2 miscarriages in the past due to GD. Its not that which is getting to me its the fact I can’t get on with my life. We all have different views on contraception etc.. and perhaps TMI but it was a one off – as feel to unwell for any kind of physical relationship
I am sure we agree on the contraception (I dont use any and only used Birth control to control my cycles which didn’t help so I stopped it lol), feeling unsexy and so not in the mood is again part of the disease and your husband understanding will help him know that it’s not that you dont love him or find him attractive ,it’s your hormones konking out oh hell no way am I doing anything. I think labido(feeling of wanting to be intimate with your spouse is the last thing that came back for me. It was hardI do get up, shower etc… take my little boy to nursery (washses me out) then come home to my baby or go to my mums house. I haven’t got a choice – even though I am so exhausted (like most women ) I really don’t have a choice but I really do feel I am ready to drop. I had a thyroid storm a few months ago and I feel so lowsy and I appreciate all your help and concern – thank you.
Having a storm takes it out of you and having kids does too, prayers and hugs that your energy levels get better as your thyroid levels get better.Its just the frustration of being stuck in a body which can do NOTHING yet I have so much to do! I definitely don’t feel sorry for myself as I am an OT and appreciate what other conditions are out there etc.. and how they effect peoples lives but it doesn’t help when you are in complete adrenal burn out
” title=”Sad” /> However, tomorrow hopefully will be a calmer day. Its just a horrible feeling to see life go on around you and I have to just wait until the day comes were I feel normal. I haven’t pushed my baby in his pram etc… it may seem trivial but to me at the moment these things are really getting to me.
Not trivial at all, it hurts emotionally not to be able to care for out little ones… I didn’t mention this before becasue it wasn’t relevent to having Graves’ disease but I will mention it now.
Back before I married my 1st husband I was bitten by a cat that had rabies, I took the shots they said and I had a very bad reaction to them. Dropped from a good 185 lbs of just getting out of high school and 5’8" and almost all mussel(June 1991), to 128 lbs my wedding day(Nov 1992), I had so many people say how sick I looked and all the make up i wore to cover the illness of being so sick from those stupid shots. I got pregnant in 1994 and had the baby in 1995 and after the birth I bled for 3 years my sister helped me with the baby and with myself. I was useless which is horrible in my eyes since I’m the overbearing motherbear that I am (thus the name mamabear lol). Moms dont get sick, wives dont feel yucky…that is what we are supposed to think but that is just not true, we aren’t super women and break just as fast as anyone else. So when we break we have to be fixed and that is the journey that leads us into so many different places. Some good some bad but in the end I hope the same falls true and that we are all better in some way how ever were able to achieve the feeling good part. Some take meds some do RAI, some do surgery either way the goal is a better life with manageable treatment.Its also upsetting when I hear people tell me they thought I was going to die etc… thats how ill I have been – so I guess perhaps there is a traumatic side to it all and a complete loss of confidence… I was at my GP the other day so more bloods taken which indicate the PTU is finally starting to have an effect but she is keeping a really close eye on me as seemingly the results are still worrying due to the thyroid storm etc…
I don’t blame your dr. for keeping a close eye on you espeically if there is a possibility that you might fall pregnant. Remember to monitor your cycle and understand that GS screws it all up so at any time you can become pregnant.
Did your Dr. say you should be taking Folic Acid? If not speak to her just in case you do become pregnant at least you are already taking Folic Acid which is good for baby.I really appreciate all your honesty. I waited 2 years to have my youngest after the m/c etc.. so am truly grateful but its just the fact like you say – everyone else can whoooop and celebrate the news of being pregnant whereas I am worrying about m/c or what my levels will be etc.. I am having the op as soon as they can get it under control as i have had enough of this thyroid controlling my life for the last 4 years. I suppose in a way I am grieving for what I once was – keep fit fanatic, helping my parents and an elderly aunt etc… to becoming the patient. I guess thats where part of the prayer comes in " God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.
" God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.Hopefully this will make you laugh…
" God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know when to keep my mouth shut and not smack someone in the mouth on my bad days."
You need to mourn your loss not only of your baby but for the anger that you have that this disease caused that m/c. Don’t think of the person that might have cancer right now and that you feel you need to suck it up because there are less fortunate people out there. Right now you need to think of you and your losses, you have lost something deeply important and the reason is most likely GS in your eyes. You are weak and can’t do much of anything else and you need to mourn the person you once were. It’s ok to mourn these things, if you don’t you can’t move forward. Of course it’s ok to feel that you are lucky because there are others out there worse off than you but sometimes it’s ok to feel that you don’t want this and didn’t ask for it and want it gone. Say it out loud, say it like you mean it and say that it stinks and that you want your life back…then take babysteps to get to your goal.so much sadness I am sure when you can’t do the things you wish to, I pray that in the end your life is full of being exhausted due to many more babies and a well controlled thyroid.
” title=”Very Happy” /> Gosh I tell my patients that – give into the fatigue and then start to bring yourself out of it – like when your car overheats.. and here I am unable to take that advice.
thanks once again – you are very kind to write such a long post to a luney like me.
M xx
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