[mamabear]

#1068128

It’s ok to feel bratty and selfish. It’s not a crime to be vain and it’s not a crime to want to look what we perceive as normal. Women don’t really start being "adultish" till we are about 24 anyway so dont’ worry about it. (i know this from experience for sure!)

I just turned 36 and I remember a time when I almost lost a very important person due to my non adult behavoir. And that had nothing to do with Graves at the time. The stress of all of that and the Flu brought on Graves’ disease and well Graves’ stinks, we all know that!

How about bangs? Do you have them, you can cover your eye with them or if you have long hair and have no bangs just really long hair you can take a picture next to him hugging him with your face with the larger eye close to him and hide your eye that way. OR better yet, have a picture of you two kissing and take it on the "good side" completely keeping out the other side and therefore no worries about the eye. You don’t have to do front facing pictures, besides its not good to do that anyway. The best pictures are taken when there is an angle to your face, tilting or sideways is best. You dont have to be looking at the camera to get a great shot to remind you of him.

As far as your smoking…. I quit August 14th 1998! It was the hardest thing I ever had to do alone. And I have 4 kids….give me 20 more before I quit smoking ever again in my life! It has been 11 years and 5 weeks since the day I quit for good. I smoked a long time before I quit <

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hoping the girls don’t see that part since I was "really" young when I started. But shhhhhhh don’t tell them on this forum so I don’t have to worry about a frying pan to the head. lol

Quiting smoking is not easy. Stay away from bars and things that you use to do when you did smoke. I stayed away from the bar only because I couldn’t smell the smoke, I would get angry. I would say why can she smoke and I can’t, or why are they smoking and I"m here not smoking so what if it causes cancer. Yes I did that for about 8 months before I could be in front of smoke again without Craving it. You can blow it in my face now and it doesn’t do a thing to me, but I would never jokingly or seriously take a puff off of one because I know it would bring me right back to where i was 11 years ago. NEVER again!
Make the wrinkles you get at 35 be from smiling at your kids and yelling at them but not from smoking ! LOL

Your family is always going to say you look fine. They love and don’t care what you look like. would you rather they say OMG your eye is so big? Of course not, i’d be peeved to all holy heck if they did. Besides if they say yeah it’s big or no it’s not is there anything different that you would do? Nope there isn’t except maybe cry that they were mean and said that. (i know I would feel that way and I consider myself a big strong girl).

Your family is protecting you and that is what they should be doing. If they are not understanding what Thyroid Eye is or what Graves’ disease is then that is different and you must educate yourself so you can educate them.

Have you been tested for Graves’ disease? Thyroid testing by your general dr. might be in order if you have not yet. Don’t let them push you around, ask them nice then demand that you are tested if they say no.

Your fiance should be your best friend, I am sure you fear that with your eye looking the way you feel it does that he will find someone else or wont love you like he should. This is normal for any girl, and to be honest your eye or not, he should be honest with you if he ever feels that spark leaving the relationship either way. My dh and I are very honest with each other about things and that has only made us stronger. we can defeat anything! I can stand on my own two feet if I must. I am a mother and know that I mustn’t be silly and think that my husband is the only one who can support us. I know I can and will if I must but together we are a team and damn good one at that. He was what I had to turn to when I was upset about my Graves’, he was there with me to help me when I didn’t understand something or had to look something and couldn’t understand what they were saying.

There are many on here that will be able to give you advice and information about your eye. I just wanted to give you some of my good old fashioned hugs and cheering on so you can get through this. I don’t have thyroid eye but we are all here for you! God Bless your Finace for fighting for us, may he be safe as he faces challenges that no one should have to. Prayers for your heart as you wait at home for home.

[Ski]

#1068129

Mamabear always gives such good info! I just wanted to add a couple of things. First, pictures with sunglasses are still good pictures ~ and some sunglasses are tinted less than others, if that makes you feel better. Just be outdoors and no one will question why you’ve got sunglasses on. Second, you will ALWAYS look better if you’re smiling, it’s a fact! So smile big and don’t be shy ~ unless of course you’re doing the kissing pictures mamabear suggested, in which case smiling would be out of place. ” title=”Very Happy” />

And just to address the OVERALL emotional impact of this ~ you are NOT alone. The eye doctors tell us that this is harder emotionally than almost any other condition they can name. Our eyes are so precious, in so many ways, and feeling as if we don’t look like "ourselves" can cause some deep upset. Forgive yourself for feeling that, because it’s really not something you can help.

Your eyes, once they settle down, CAN be corrected, so take heart. Once you are diagnosed to be in the cold phase (it’s diagnosed in retrospect, after at least six months have passed with no changes), surgical corrections can be explored, and they are getting better and better at accomplishing miracles. In any event, you are definitely not stuck with the way you look forever. Promise.

[bnj090108]

#1018961

Hi. I have never joined any of these forums, and to be honest I don’t even know what my main question is. Really, I am depressed. Family and ‘friends’ seem to shrug it off, they say my eye is not so bad. Maybe not, but to me, it’s just one more thing I don’t want to face. So far the doctor’s feel it has been triggered by stress, and reading about Grave’s Disease it makes sense, but my mind is a whirling mess and to eliminate stress in my life is not a reality for me…at least I can’t figure out how to go about it. My fiance, who is my best friend and really only real friend, is deploying across seas for the first time in November. This may sound pathetic, but before he leaves, I just wanted pictures. When he was away in training, I looked at pictures to cheer me up. Any one who has this eye disease though probably knows pictures, with me in them, are far from being flattering. I feel like this is so pathetic, but I am just a mess. I recently quit smoking with Chantix once i heard the eye-thing may be linked to smoking…so it’s been 2 weeks without a cigarette. I know I need to be patient but my last visit to doctor, I know he was being honest, but he nonchalantly added that in some people it never fixes itself. I never thought of myself as vain, but this eye thing has more affect on me than I would have ever imagined. I had some rough teen years, pulled myself out…and now at 24, I feel so angry and helpless again. (Like a bratty, selfish teenager) Like I said, I don’t really know why I’m typing. I don’t want to be one of those bummer-people, but any tips on how to get through? Or anyone good with cameras who can give me some tips? I don’t want surgery or pills. Just some cool tactics on making it through! Hope to hear from someone…thanks.

[Marpo]

#1068130

Ski and mama are both right and have given good advice. I was a photographer and I have used all these things to take a good picture of people. I always would suggest the good side. Half closed eyes sometimes work. Sunglass’s do wonders. The kiss is the best one. I know how you feel about pictures . I hardly ever would take a picture after I got TED. I am glad I did take some as I put together a DVD with my Journey with TED. Now that my eyes are normal I can look at this DVD and really appreciate how I look now. Not a movie star, but normal.

It really is a good idea to educate yourself and your family about Graves’ Disease and all the symptoms. Some will understand and some will never understand. Take care of you and don’t worry what others think. This is not being a brat or selfish. take care.

[Author]

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