[vanillasky]

#1059944

If anyone knows how to stay calm, cool (no pun) and collected, please give advice.

I just saw gynecologist today and need surgery. And of course, biopsies. This happened 2 years ago and now again. Stress is at it’s highest level right now. Ready to take the bridge and someone with me if I could

Always the thought of uterine cancer, (that’s what they are looking for) so I am a nervous wreck. Is this going to mess up my thyroid more? I am worried. Or maybe I should stopping worrying?

Karen

[Raspberry]

#1178946

So sorry you are going through this again. What surgery do they want to do? Or is it biopsies and then if they aren’t good they do surgery like hysterectomy right away? As for staying calm I’m sure being tested on that front also so I don’t have the best advice, but escapism helps some – losing yourself in a book or really intense television. Being out in nature can be good too.

[brondack]

#1178947

How about volunteering some of your time at a veterans or senior center or any other local charitable organization?

That could be a win – win. You would be helping others, getting great satisfaction from it and at the same time, perhaps, taking your mind off your own situation.

[beach45]

#1178948

It is not easy to stay calm in such instances, yet suggestions here are great!

I had to do meditation, acupuncuture, diverting my attention by keeping very busy either in the house or outside, I do volunteer for over 2 years now at a senior residence where my mother also lives and at Church 5 years, talking to people who have had similar experiences such as here and on the outside in my area, prayer and going to therapy.

I had scares in 2008/2009 with uterus and ovary. I had biopsies twice and Thank God the uterus was okay yet the left ovary had to be removed as I fought to keep the right (my ob/gyn later on said that was a good idea) as there was nothing wrong with it; yet I was being told the huge cyst on my Ovary was suspicious and possibly a cancerous tumor as also my CA-125 marker was very high. It all turned out okay thank God after having the ovary and cyst removed yet I was ready for anything;

Yet then in 2010 Graves turned up. Don’t know if there was a connection.

For me, I learned never to think the worse yet be realistic and do whatever it took to learn how to relax as I learned it is not what happens to us it is how we deal with it; not easy yet better in the long run at least for me.

I am sorry you are going through this and best of luck with this and please keep us posted.

Beach

[vanillasky]

#1178949

thanks for all the suggestions and responses. I appreciate it.

@raspberry: they found my uterus is too thick. Yes, again. why does this keep happening to me? Just had this surgery alittle less than 2 years ago and now here we are again?

it should be 4.0 and it is 5.8. I have postmenopausal bleeding so they want to biopsy my uterus. I am beside myself. I went through this not that long ago so how do I have to cope with this again?

I am at this moment waiting for the doctor to call to schedule the surgery because I don’t know what else to do. Am bleeding more all the time.

In a little while, I figured I better go up to the blood lab because if I’m hyper, as you know, no surgery can be performed so I better go check my TSH.

Trying to tackle one thing at a time. After that we are going to cemetery because it’s my father’s birthday. I originally had planned a party for him, but now I just have to go visit the masoleum. This is a sad day for me. Thank you all for being so kind and supportive.

xxoxox
Karen

[snelsen]

#1178950

Hi vanillasky,
My best coping method is distraction, and taking action.

I think I told you in some post that I had post menopausal bleeding twice, the ultrasound showed a huge polyp the first time, had a polypectomy. Then bleeding again, but it stopped, so followed with serial ultrasounds, but it did not get larger.

I have had two aggressive breast cancers, different breasts and different years.
Regarding ovaries, I elected to have both ovaries removed (was 62 at the time_ because the risk of ovarian cancer is a bit higher with my history.

Here is a whacky thought that I have had over the years. I have always wished for a valid reason to get rid of my uterus. It’s job was done, and it was one more thing that could not get cancer, cause it wasn’t there!

When you hear from the surgeon, the questions raspberry mentioned are good for you to know. And as I mentioned, her coping mechanisms are mine. Plus maybe having some good cheese and a good glass of red wine, whether I am coping or not! (:

Do write again. Your friends and buddies are here for you.
Shirley

[amosmcd]

#1178951

Hi, Karen–

I’m sorry you’re going through this again! What is the surgery they are planning on doing, and what surgery did you have 2 years ago? Will they consider a hysterectomy to just rid you of your uterus since it’s causing all these problems?

As far as staying calm, when we were waiting to hear what was going on with my best friend this past fall, and cancer was one of the possibilities, I was freaking out with worry. I spoke with a co-worker who has been treated for a serious cancer with surgery, chemo, etc., about my fears, and she said she has learned to “just not go there.” In other words, do not let your mind dwell on something that has not been officially diagnosed. Every time my mind would drift in that direction, I literally told myself, “STOP!” and forced myself to think of something else. It turned out that my friend did not have cancer.

Worrying and getting frantic does not help you. It just adds so much anxiety to a situation where you need a clear head to help you deal with your treatment options.

I know you have a ton of stress in your life. When things feel wild and crazy, and totally out of control, find a way to distract yourself. And force your mind to stop thinking about it all the time. You do have more control over your emotions than you think.

Wishing you the best,
Amy

[Kimberly]

#1178952

Hi Karen – Sending a cyber {{{hug}}} your way as you work to get this surgery scheduled.

You’ve received some great feedback so far. You might also consider doing an Internet search for “Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction”. It sounds a little “out there”, but there’s actually some solid research behind it, and nationally recognized institutions have recognized its benefit in helping individuals who are going through a variety of health issues and other personal challenges. For example, here’s one program from Duke University:

(Note on links: if you click directly on the following link, you will need to use your browser’s “back” button to return to the boards after viewing, or you will have to log back in to the forum. As an alternative, you can right-click the link and open it in a new tab or new window).

http://www.dukeintegrativemedicine.org/classes-workshops-and-education/mindfulness-based-stress-reduction

The idea behind “mindfulness” is to focus on the present moment, rather than letting regrets about the past or worries about the future drain our energy. This is something I am working on now, and it is obviously WAY easier said than done. My mind often grabs on to negative thoughts and churns them around like the spin cycle on my washing machine. But I know that if I can make progress on this, I will be putting my mental energy to much better use!

As always, you know that you have a strong network of support here when you need to reach out. Please hang in there!

[Harpy]

#1178953

Kimberly wrote:

My mind often grabs on to negative thoughts and churns them around like the spin cycle on my washing machine.

Also known as “Getting on the train to nowhere” after work we get in the car and reflect on the day, then we attach to a particular event, usually bad, then we cycle it around, “next time he says that, I’ll say this, do this, ah yes, then see the look on his face, yes, then he’ll know how it really is, oh how good that will be” and we go over and over it, perfecting every detail until suddenly we’re at home.
Well we just lost 1/2 an hour of our present moment’s and the sad reality is this orchastrated response, carefully choreographed will likely never come to pass.

It is not just the negative elements that create issues, even the seemingly positive ones can create expectations that may be impossible for us to achieve.
In the scenario above, we might find the opportunity to confront them and enact our screenplay, they look at you strangely, shrug their shoulders, say “you’re weird”, turn around and walk away.
All those expectations of pleasure at seeing this person squirm turn on us as feelings of disappointment, then it starts again, “I’m so useless, I didn’t say it properly, next time I’ll get it right, I’ll do it like this, blah, blah, blah and so on”
This person in question probably has no idea where you’re coming from, too wrapped up in their own miseries of past and future most likely.

The present moment is all around us, it is the only moment you’ll ever experience, you can dwell on the past and hope for the future, but you can never experience them.

It’s in a heartfelt moment with someone close to us, the laughter of children playing, being engrossed in a novel, the texture of cool grass under our bare feet, the smell of a rose, the empathy you feel when you see someone less fortunate than you, the cloud shapes overhead, the taste of an apple freshly picked, the crashing of waves on a shoreline etc.

Allow your senses to do what they were designed to do, touch, see, hear, smell, taste, the present moment is always ready to recieve us, we just need to let go of the past and the future to realise this.

As Kimberly indicated, not always that easy, we need to contend with the fickle mind, always chattering, the petulant narcissistic ego seeking retribution, they will always try to invade the present moment.
When you find yourself in the wind up, take a breath, don’t reprimand yourself for failing, that just creates an attachment to negativity, simply let it go, feel the breath as it enters your body, how your chest expands, what can you feel, if you feel a pain, fine, observe the sensation, is it sharp or is it dull, is it broad, composed of different sensations, is there a cool breeze, is your nose chilly, can you feel your hair brushing at your ears.

The body is the present moment, the psyche is the past & future, the more time you can spend in the present moment, the more your body will appreciate it.

How’s that for “Out There” Kimberly?, eh

For those that aren’t that “out there” understand that there is a very strong hormonal connection to the present moment, every time we let our emotions run wild with fears, regrets, anticipation, so do our hormones, so it might be time to look “out there” and see if you can find the present moment.

[Stymie]

#1178954

Harpy,

You almost had me in tears.

I’ve been trying lately to live in the moment.

This is all we have. Right here. Right now. Live it. Love it. Try not to dwell on what might have been, what might be.

Just be here.

Everyone around you will thank you for it.

Much love vanillasky. I hope everything goes well for you. Keep positive and focus on today. This moment in time.

Diane

[vanillasky]

#1178955

Well…………..got my labs back today. I guess Graves’ is behaving itself. TSH is 2.64. FT4 is alittle low but no big deal. FT3 is pending (usual)

Got a call from the gynecologist. Pre-op Friday, have to see her Monday and surgery is next Friday. (yay) 😮

Excuse me while I go throw up. I am very very upset.

Karen:/

[butterfly007]

#1178956

Hi Karen. I haven’t posted for ages, but have been following your posts. The ‘mindfulness’ techniques that were suggested, can be easy to use, can be used literally anywhere and some have really worked for me in the past.
Another simple, easy and actually helpful technique is meridian tapping. Once again that can be done anywhere.
Other than that, just want you to know I am in awe of how strong you have been to get through what you already have, and I am thinking of you and wishing you well!
Rae – (I was under the name of rae5)

[vanillasky]

#1178957

Aw, thank you, Rae. You’re very kind. Funny thing: a lot of people tell me I’m strong, but I don’t think I am.

Even my own mother thinks so! Yesterday wasn’t as bad as I thought. We got through it without my father pretty well. I bought him some red carnations and let them on his crypt. The masoleum people hate that, but it’s only once a year, I disturb the crypt, right? What’s alittle scotch tape?

I wrote father a note and talked awhile and then left. Told him to Rest in Peace. I had minimal tears. Maybe I’m becoming a tough cookie? LOL!

I have someone I met a few years ago. His name is Criss Angel. If you haven’t heard of him, he’s a magician in Las Vegas now doing a show at the Luxor. (see? I’m advertising for you, Christopher!) and he said “Whatever doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger.” that’s been a big influence on me aside from him and his kindness when we met. Talk about being tough! His father died of stomach cancer in his arms.
And he recently lost “Hammie” his cat. So in everyone’s life, some rain must fall.

thanks for your kind words. I’m hanging in there. Tranquilizers do help, though

[vanillasky]

#1178958

Well, sighs…………had pre-op yesterday. It took 2 full hours of examination and questions. And I mean stupid questions. These women call themselves nurses?

EKG, ( she couldn’t get a reading at first) I figured if she thought I was dead, I was just going home.

“Take your Klonopin” the day of surgery the other nurse said. “How does this mix with the stuff they use to knock you out?” I asked. “Will I end up like Michael Jackson?”

Then it’s don’t take your migraine pills for one week. Well, suppose I get a migraine, I guess I’ll have to go to bed and cry for one week?

Then it’s okay to take it for a few days until the surgery? MAKE UP YOUR MIND!

I told the one nurse I was bleeding very badly after my last D&C, that was just 1 year and 10 months ago and she said “that’s impossible, you must have had somethng else done, nobody bleeds much after a D&C.” :rolleyes:

(Obviously she’s never had one) and I should know what they did last time? Do I have stupid written across my forehead?

Off to see my lovely doctor on Monday. Yuck. WELCOME TO MY NIGHTMARE.

Karen

[Kimberly]

#1178959

Ugh, so sorry that you are dealing with this! I would suggest keeping a written set of records as to who said what. Then see if you can get someone in the doc’s office to tell you *which* set of conflicting instructions you should be following! Take care!

[Author]

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