[Kimberly]

#1066611

Hello – I am so sorry that you are going through this.

Probably every single Graves’ patient on this board would tell you that we were NOT ourselves while our thyroid levels were unbalanced. But your son *does* need to take responsibility for his own life and his own behavior. The good news is that he will feel SO much better once his levels are back under control! However, he needs to take an active role in managing this disease. If he goes through RAI, he will still need to remember to take his thyroid hormone replacement each day. As you said, you shouldn’t need to be a babysitter!

Hopefully, someone who has been through this can jump in with a good suggestion as to how to approach this sensitive issue with your son. In the meantime, can you talk to your landlord and explain that your son is dealing with a medical issue that you are working to resolve? You certainly don’t need to add finding a new place to live on top of everything else on your plate.

By the way, is your son on meds for his ADHD? If so, I would definitely mention that to his doctor or pharmacist, just so they are aware of any possible drug interaction.

Best of luck – we are always here if you need to vent.

[CHRYSTINAMARIE]

#1018708

I got my son back in NY he wasn’t taking his meds, I just started taking back to the doctor but he is causing all kinds of trouble here from me…He is about to get me kicked out of my apartment where I live with my two daughters, he eats me out of house and home..I have no money, I do not know what to do at this point, he does not listen and he says he doesn’t care. I have to wait about 3 weeks to get him the radio active treatmeant, but in the meantime his behavior is so erratic, he is destructive, threatens his sisters, he pushes them he is a big boy. there is no father in the household. Is there anybody out there that can help. He has a shrink appointment tommorrow because he also has ADHD. He does not want to do anything with his life, he doesn’t care and I’m afraid he will wind up dead or in jail…Twice now he has forgotten to take his meds…I have to work I cannot babysit him, I am waiting now for my landlord to come about the latest situation that he has caused, and its a bad one. They are going to ask me to move out, and then where do I go with 3 kids and no money..I need help. Please can anyone point me in a direction. I am so afraid, I do not have anyone or anywhere to turn.

[cathycnm]

#1066612

What a hard situation for the whole family. He is not happy and it is really creating what sounds like negative spirals.

I think you need to let his psychologist or psychiatrist know what is going on. There are things beyond Graves and ADHD that probably need to be explored – though Graves and ADHD could certianly be feeding the behaviour.

One of the best ways to help stay "grounded" in such a situation, is to focus on little things that you are grateful for and breathe slowly – this is backed by research. In so doing, you calm yourself down and may be an influence on shifting your family a little. It sounds very stressful for everyone right now.

Best of luck – let us know how it goes.

[Madame_X]

#1066613

If his behavior is such that he is a danger to himself and/or others do not hesitate to call the cops and have him taken to the nearest emergency room. Sounds to me like he needs an intervention and evaluation by a doc and a shrink.

Sorry you’re having such troubles. GL.

[maryintx]

#1066614

He eats like a mad man- this is normal. If you cant afford the food, get to a food bank. he needs proteins. I have three sons that age, one wears sz 15 shoes, they are all over 6 ft tall big boys that I could spend thousands+ a month feeding. Instant mashed potatoe, can of beans, brown rice, pasta dishes. Go to your Church and lay it out on the line that you need more food. Low blood sugar & not enough sleep can make very crabby poor memory teen son. I would apply for assistance, you mayb be surprised even if you dont qualify for much, just by applying it opens doors to referrals for him.

He may not want to tell you his plans for his life if he has been rejected by another parent or adult to move back in with you, thats normal and you have to rebuild trust. Takes time, he will test you constantly and you need to make good household rules, be firm and consistent. You may need to have your girls stay elsewhere for the next month while you establish a routine for him.
Is surgery not an option for him? Does his Endocrinoligist understand the stress you are both under? I would call & tell the nuclear meds people he needs to get in before the 3 week period. I would go into the DR and let him know your sons behaviors are escalating in a negative way and see if he wouldnt benefit from anti depressants or something like xanax to mellow him out. If he has ADHD, the meds for that have many side effects including the inability to fall asleep/ Its winter, he isnt likely to be getting excersize. Boys get ‘house-head’, they are like puppy dogs that need to be walked or they rip up the furniture. Sounds crazy but in my experience it is lack of mental stimulation too that cause them to turn off and get lethargic. He needs to be put into situations where he can help you or someone to build his self-esteem. He is probably feeling very broken and like he is not worth much as a person. can he go with you to get food at a pantry and spend an hour volunteering? Does he have any friends? Definately talk to his Doctor about the different meds he is taking to be sure they are not interacting to make him act out.
People you might be able to turn to- extended family, his Doctors, a local Big Brothers group, your Church, your local public high school guidance counselor, Middle Earth Hotline (516) 679-1111 – a crisis center that does referrals- they are in Long Island if you are NY ?, The Samaritans- (212) 673-3000, 1-800-LIFENET, a confidential, toll-free help line for New York City residents, is operated by the Mental Health Association of New York City.

There is help out there, your landlord can’t just evict you without notice and you can call Legal aid to get someone advice on that. Be sure to call the girls school and let the Nurse or counselor there know what is going on, they are mandatory abuse reporters, if the girls go to school and make comment to their teacher that their adult brother has laid hands on them, the teacher has to follow up on that. Forewarning that staff is a good idea.
((((((hug))))))) please come back and post again to let us know how you are doing. I will help you research to find local stuff if you don’t mind posting a zip code.

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