[Bella1]

#1176465

vanillasky wrote:

You should really have a career in writing, if you don’t now; you can evoke emotion through words in an amazingly intimate and overwhelming way (think Frost or Poe)! WOW!!

[jaqeinquotation]

#1176466

Rae5 don’t be sorry about sharing your relationship issues. I’ve definitely been there but at the time I didn’t realize that my illness was contributing to my breakdown. I wasn’t the only one to blame and I refuse to take all of it.
I don’t know the man you speak of and I won’t judge but he probably isn’t as strong as you are. You are right though, it was a choice that he made and why should you sneak around? After all, you’re not contagious and you’re both grown people. You have a son to be an example to also and for that I commend you. You wrote about being more patient and that it may have helped…maybe or maybe not-follow your gut and you can’t go wrong.

Please try not to stress about it-easier said than done I know this but it’s so important. I struggle with stress and worry so I’m not just talking out my young yang. Continue to use this forum as your outlet. It has been my ROCK and the people here are absolutely amazing and supportive. Guaranteed.

Take it one day at a time and if at first that’s too much, then 1 hour at time and work your way up. Like snelson said, we all can relate to a bad day. You Will get through it!

Take Care

[rae5]

#1176467

jaqeinquotation – Thanks! It’s really helpful just knowing I’m not alone and there are people here who ‘get it’. Your comment about him not being as strong as I am really made me think. Your comments are so positive, thanks!
I am going ok. Somehow hearing about the huge struggle some others have had and are going through now has made my own seem smaller for the last few days. That’s a good thing(for me, not them!) and has gotten me through those first few really hard days. Have had no contact at all with said ‘ex’ and don’t intent to start any. It’s probably good timing as I just want to concentrate on getting well and don’t need all the extra stress that seems to bring. So, thats where I’m at now. And yes, my gut tells me to stay away from him.

I have a feeling I am going hyper again. Dose was reduced couple weeks ago. Due for more labs in couple of weeks. My anxiety had gone but is now kicking in again, I am so very tired, My pulse is higher, feel like palpitations every now n then, I’m waking up through the night, can’t think properly, head feels floaty, I seem to really speed up in the afternoons, diarrea(?) is back, my fingers keep tingling, hands go to sleep constantly through the night, definately irritable though havent yelled at anyone (yet), thankfully. In saying all that, I’m not feeling out of control hot like I was before…It’s so confusing!
Will wait for labs and see what surprises they bring.

[No_Hope]

#1176468

Rae, I am so sorry for your problems. I would love to speak with your boyfriend, his family, and anyone else who you think would benefit from my experience being married to the most beautiful spectacular Christian woman in the world who lives with untreated Graves’ Disease. Perhaps you could benefit from my hell on earth.

I would start off by telling him how lucky he was that you have been diagnosed, properly treated, and on your way back to being the woman that he loves for I am not so lucky.

My wife who is currently 40 was diagnosed with Graves’ disease before we met but he has never been properly treated nor has she ever seen an endocrinologist that I am aware of.

I was married in October of 2008 and within months I was asking her to tell her doctor of her increased mood swings and irritability. By 2010 I had no idea where the woman I married had gone and she had me removed from the home. Since she had me removed from the home we have tried many times to work on things but it was impossible due to the psychiatric impact Graves’ disease had on her. Unfortunately it is only within the last few months that I have realized that my Wife’s Graves’ disease is the source of our problems but it is far too late.

I will not go into the things that my wife has said and done that there is no way on God’s green earth she would ever do if she was herself. But I will tell you where we are right now. My wife has a second order of protection against me and thinks that I am an evil, psychotic, abusive man who is going to hurt her and her children all while she is divorcing me and has everyone close to her believing these untrue things.

Things got so bad that I threatened to kill myself if she would not go to counseling with me (and keep in mind this was before I found her problems were due to Graves’ disease) and then I ended up in a mental health facility. I made these threats because I was desperate to get my Wife help and I did not know what to do. My wife says and does the most irrational and illogical things and I cannot get her in front of someone so she can be scrutinized. If a mental health or medical professional were to hear the things my wife says, does, and thinks they would be able to help her.

And on top of all this I am discriminated against in court because I am from NY and all of this is taking place in a small county in Kentucky. And this is what an attorney that I tried to retain told me today after refusing to take me on as a client. And this attorney like others who I have tried to retain, every friend I know, every doctor and mental health professional I have spoken to all tell me the same thing, that I should just give up and walk away. And my response is that what my wife is going through is no different than cancer or if she was left disabled or worse due to an accident, and I cannot abandon my wife for ANY REASON. Even as she tries to put me in jail because I leave her voicemails and send her text messages telling her how much I love her and that she is my hero while she is doing things that she would NEVER do had she been herself. I am not allowed any contact with my wife nor can I be within 500’ of her. I have court next week where I could go to jail for these things and I am going to tell the judge that there is nothing he could do to hurt me compared to what I am living with.

My life is hell on earth. My most Beautiful Spectacular Wife truly believes the most horrible untrue things about me because she is sick and I am unable to help her.

So Rae you tell your boyfriend to read this and how lucky I said he is because he still has a woman that loves him.

My name is Jack and my email address is [edited to remove personal e-mail] if you or anyone else thinks they can benefit from my experience PLEASE do get a hold of me. I will do ANYTHING I can do to help others whose lives are affected by Graves’ disease.

Oh one last thing. The last time my wife got mad at me (and to this day I do not even know what she got mad at me for) she took my house key off of my key ring while I was sleeping and had me removed from our lease. From there she refused to communicate with me in any way. And this is when I made the threats of suicide.

[Kimberly]

#1176469

@No_Hope – I am so sorry that Graves’ has been so devastating to you marriage. Obviously, the best scenario would be for your wife to get appropriate treatment. We always tell people not to make ANY major decisions about marriage, divorce, job, moving, major purchases, etc. until their levels are stabilized and they are thinking clearly again. I don’t know if you are able to communicate with your wife via the attorneys, but we would be happy to speak to her if she contacts us at info@gdatf.org or at 877-643-3123.

If you go back to the first page of this thread and scroll a few posts down, you will find a video and two articles that will hopefully be of interest. Most people don’t realize how having thyroid hormone levels out of balance can affect memory, concentration, and emotions.

You might wish to edit your post to remove your e-mail address and instead encourage people to contact you via Private Message. (You should find an “edit” button at the bottom of your posts). You can send a private message to another poster by viewing one of their posts and clicking on the PM icon that appears a few lines underneath their screen name. The system will “ping” whatever e-mail address the other person used to sign up to let them know that they have a private message waiting. (You have to be logged in to the system in order to view your private messages). This is a public board, so we encourage people to NOT post information that spammers could get a hold of.

We’ve had a few other spouses in a similar situation post here from time to time. This board has a search function (in the top right-hand corner of the screen), so you can run a search for terms like “husband”, “wife”, “divorce”, etc. and you can read their stories. Unfortunately, it can’t undo the damage that has already been done, but it might give you some comfort to know that you are not alone in dealing with this.

Wishing you strength – and hopefully one day, a successful resolution.

[rae5]

#1176470

Hi Jack. Your story is so sad. As I was reading it I was fine until I got to one bit and all of a sudden the realisation came of exactly what I was reading. I burst into tears and have now cried all morning. It all just seems so unfair.
Is your wife recieving any kind of treatment at all? You mentioned she has never been ‘properly’ treated?
From the perspective of someone who experiences the effects of Graves first hand – I would strongly recommend giving her as much space as you can, until the day arrives where she fully understands the impact of Graves and is being properly treated. This suggestion is not ‘abandoning’ her, but simply being patient and giving her what she is asking for and possibly needs right now. Also, Jack – You can’t help anyone while in jail!!
Kimberly is right, most people don’t understand the effects of Graves on emotions etc and will not understand what you have been through with your wife. Or why as a result that you are now acting and feeling the way you are. I really dont know what else to say. Kimberly had some great ideas in her post.

Thank you so much for your offer of help. Your post has already helped and I am sure it will help many others. This forum has so much info and support to offer, I really do hope it helps you too.
Rae

[No_Hope]

#1176471

Oh Rae please do not cry. I just want to help you with what you are going through. And there is no space I can give. My wife is divorcing me and in Kentucky we are in a no fault state. I am powerless to stop her. Yesterday in court I offered to sign divorce papers that would be held and filed at a later date if my wife would allow me access to her medical records, her doctor, and if she went to a mental health professional. This offer was turned down. Now my Wife is a good Christian and I presented her and her attorney a piece of paper that while in court I said that if she got it signed by one of these men, the Pasteur at her current church, the Pasteur from our previous church, or the Christian Counselor she is seeing I would sign divorce papers. Her attorney quickly responded with “we are not interested”. This is what that piece of paper said.

I,_________________ agree with Jennifer ***** that 1 Thessalonians 5:22

____ KJV Abstain from all appearance of evil.
or
____ NIV reject every kind of evil.

allows for her to forsake and abandon her husband if in her opinion he is an evil man.

My Wife used scripture for forsaking and abandoning me and I cannot even get one of those men to tell her that she is mistaken in it’s meaning.

My wife thinks the most HORRIBLE untrue things about me. It got so bad I started audio recording EVERYTHING. I have an audio recording of my wife saying that I called her crazy and insane 10 times when anyone can hear that I never said it a single time.

Rae I am not trying to steal your thread so please let me know if anyone from your family and friends would like to speak with me so that I can share my experiences with them.

Jack

[rae5]

#1176472

Hi Jack,
Thanks for your offer to speak with family and friends. I am really lucky in that on my side I have understanding. It was his side that didnt. I do appreciate your offer but as he is not interested, there is no point now. I will try to get well and move on.
I do hope that you find some peace sometime in the future and wish you the best of luck. Look after yourself ok.

[Kimberly]

#1176473

@Jack – Trust me, we want to see your wife receive appropriate medical attention as much as you do. We truly hate to see lives and relationships torn apart from untreated Graves’ disease.

If your wife’s attorney — or a third party like a pastor — would like to contact us to speak in general terms about the seriousness of Graves’ disease, the consequences of letting it go untreated, and the three treatment options that are available, we would be happy to assist. However, it’s really important that you work within the legal system, honoring all laws and court orders that are in effect.

Wishing you all the best.

[No_Hope]

#1176474

Kim I do not know a single person that believes me and if they do they are not willing to do anything about it. Monday I will call an attorney that was recommended to me by an attorney who refused to represent me who was recommended by another attorney that refused to represent me. And to be honest am I am worried if I am getting some crap attorney that takes on any case. And lets say I am able to subpoena my Wife’s medical records. Now I need to find a doctor willing to look at her lab tests and see what, my wife is suffering from Graves’ disease and it is not being treated properly if at all? And no matter how you slice it I failed my family.

[Robboford]

#1176475

Hi rae5,
Sorry to read you were back to feeling hyper and all the crap effects that goes with it. Not sure if this will help you or not, but it works for me and I have been taking them continuously for the whole duration of my Graves’ journey. I too suffered with diarrhoea and I was given Vitamin b1 tablets. I take 3 a day and the brand I take is “Betamin” that cost $6.99 for a bottle of 100 tablets from Priceline. I still have the odd rare attack, but day to day they really work for me. Hopefully it may help you. Keep on fighting.
Cheers, hugs and kisses,
Deb

[rae5]

#1176476

Deb, thank you so much. The thought that I could do something to stop the diarrhea didn’t cross my mind at all, I just accepted it as a part of being hyper – Duh me! lol.
We do have a priceline here so I will go in and see if they have some and definately give it a go. Would be well and truly worth the $6.99! The bouts of tears have stopped now, thank goodness! I am very very curious to see what results the next labs bring, I don’t think I’m actually seeing my endo at all, the appointment card says it’s with ‘consultant’ whatever that means.
How are you going Deb?
Cheers,
Rae

[Robboford]

#1176477

Hi rae5,
Fingers crossed that it will work or at least help you. One of the older guys at work here has had diarrhoea constantly for the last 6 months and had been to Doctors and specialists etc but to no avail. When I suggested the B1 tablets and told him to check with his GP before taking them – the Doctor was very sceptical but told him to try them. Surprise, surprise they worked and the GP is now using them for other patients, so it definitely pays to network. I saw my Opthalmologist yesterday and got some pretty crazy lab results, so my eye problems have been put on hold and it’s back to the Endo to try and manage my levels. Luckily I have an appointment with my Endo next Tuesday and am going for my labs today otherwise the Opthalmologist would have sent me straight to ER. My TSH has dropped to .05 (0.40 – 3.50) (at my last labs it had got as high as .066 still not great but at least it was detectable – I had almost 12 months of TSH not being detected) but it’s my autoantibodies they are more concerned about: Thyroid Peroxidase Ab 123 (0 -35) which whilst high hasn’t really increased too much but the Thyroglobulin 5388 (<30) has skyrocketed and is what is of most concern. The Lab where I had the tests done have made a note that they re-ran the tests just to make sure of the result because it was so high. So at the moment I am waiting to see Endo and see what his input is and whilst the Opthalmologist was really concerned there is nothing I can do about it at the moment and if I stress myself out about it - who knows what that may do to today's Labs. Patience and waiting sucks but with 2 arms and 2 legs and breathing on my own I am still better off than a lot of others. I'll let you know how I go at Endo's. Stay well and good luck.
Cheers
Deb

[rae5]

#1176478

Hi Deb,
Sorry to hear things aren’t going to plan. I’m not surprised they re-ran the tests! Hopefully this is just a little speedbump and that’s all. The stress factor is huge, it seems to me stressful events occur right when I am trying to reduce stress. It sounds like you are going ok with the patience and waiting, I guess you’ve had practice at that hey.
Speaking of crazy results…
I remember when I got my first lot of results it said ‘deranged’ across the top. I laughed at that for ages and told my family and friends the results of my blood tests was that oficially,’I am deranged’. I did get a few strange looks and I laughed even more. The word ‘deranged’ fit quite nicely for me at the time as being very hyper it’s exactly how I felt. Thats just my strange sense of humour, it keeps me going.
It really does come down to attitude and positive thinking. I like yours. Having two working arms and legs and breathing on your own is definately a good thing!!! Hope to hear about your visit to endo soon

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