[Aravindh]

#1072039

Hi Cathy,

No worries. Nobody can get into the other persons JOB. So dont worry . You will still be the manager and the next person cannot take that position. Be cool and calm and you can achieve a lot.
Thanks Aravindh

[hyperm]

#1072040

Ok let me try and get this right – their is a staff member who you are senior to trying to get your job and making life difficult for you?

I know what you mean about once being able to carry so much and then as you call her Mrs Graves – I call her Mrs Thyroid came along and Wham there goes your stamina, clear thinking, memory the lot! I had a similar situation but with one of my assistants! I am not wanting to sound like I am bragging but this is how it all stemmed! I moved up the career ladder rather quickly I got a senior position in 2 years in stead of the usual 3 – 5 years and one of my colleagues unwittingly made a comment saying (highlighting that some people had been talking about me )"oh you got that position and you had only been qualified for 2 years and were off for a year of that on mat leave! HELLO!

Anyway I got a further promotion and moved over to a different department and there was one of the assistants who was there from when the team was established and really struggled with her position in comparison to others around her with senior positions. Now I am never one to through my weight around and never have pulled rank in any form as I always tried to apply that we all have a job to do and are part of a team. Anyway most of the staff members have a problem with her but because I was unwell when I went into this post with GD she must have noticed a weakness there and tried to pick on me. Because I was feeling so rubbish most days I was just letting it float over me. I mentioned on here before about how when out of character I mentioned that I was exhausted she replied "oh you young ones don’t know what tiredness is" Well my ferratin was only 4 so I took great pleasure in going into work the next day and informing her!

Anyway it came head on when I (as a part timer) would leave her a list of patients to visit and would come back to work on the Tuesday and she hadn’t seen any of them – so then it resulted in me looking unprofessional and my patients complaining that they were only having treatment once a week! Then one patient who was lucky to have a visit from her because the physio had asked her too told me she was talking about me and said’ Oh she hasn’t been well for a long time etc.. now I had 2 miscarriages in 6 months and yes I took a few months off – I was grieving! As I drove back to work I realised that if I had been feeling better in myself this would never have came to the stage where she was deciding the priority of my patients needs for rehab and also that she was disclosing private and confidential info to my patients about me!

I very diplomatically made my rank clear and put her in her place with regards to what her job was and also that it was my decision to disclose any personal info about myself etc…. It had to be done! I also put the onus on her by stating that as I had documented in the notes (which are legal documents) that she was to visit on set dates and carry out the treatments I had instructed that she could be held responsible if a complaint came in from a patient or family member! Also that I was going to start documenting that the treatment hadn’t been carried out by assistant as instructed by senior member of staff as I was going to cover my own back!

Its not a nice situation and I agree that this condition can result in you loosing your spark some days and it takes longer to try and get through things but if you have your facts right and feel that she is up to something I would liase with your boss and stress these points diplomatically.

Good luck
xxx

[cathycnm]

#1019500

Hi all – I am having an interesting experience as the director of my small department. Last fall, with going hyper to hypo in 5 weeks, I was not the leader I usually am. I was too focused on myself and my symptoms. I also did not have the energy to stay up-beat in my approach. I cried through one meeting where my boss was upset with me (staff present). The whole hyper-hypo thing really shifted me away from my norm.

I had a new staff member who started that semester (the other two staffers had been there for a year and could see it was the illness). The person who saw me at my worst first is really becoming a problem child. First of all – I think she tends to be the kind to think management is responsible for doing a lot of her work – and Ms. Graves here tends to do too much for my employees at times. Seeing my boss upset with me – and my tears – well she has told me I am just a push-over. So, this semester comes and I decided no matter what she needs to do her own work. I don’t want to get into details – but I think she wants my job. It would be a closer commute for her and it is the pay she needs. All she can do is complain about the job I am doing. I think seeing my boss and I at our worst moment has influenced her to behave this way.

I am in counseling now because I feel like I let a lot of my leadership style shift away from norm when I was sick. I feel better – but there are relationships that have been impacted. I am not afraid for my job, as this woman is not qualified. But it is a lesson for me that not only cells that heal – it is the organizations that we lead and the people we work and live with. Just wondering if anyone else has had the experience. (As for the worker – I finally told her that we had different leadership styles – which is OK – but I am the leader here and she needed to respect my decisions and stop complaining. She has made a choice to work for me. It felt healing to do that.) Thanks for any thoughts or ideas. C

[cathycnm]

#1072041

Hey all – thanks for the encouragement. Actually – I am Ms Graves. She is an underachiever. I got into my old "I will be responsible" dance with her and then caught it and stopped. I think that is the issue – she really thought she had me pegged for doing all the work in the relationship. Our department is located off from the main branch and they have more staff there so apparently it works for them to carry her load for her. Here it is a smaller team and it is so noticeable when someone does that.

She is being phased way down at our site – so that may be part of her reaction – she was not picked for our position because she does not have the experience or the community commitment. And she works with my boss more than I do at the other site (in a different dept) so I don’t want to involve the boss because they tend to favor workers from their site. So, I am just letting it pass. 3 more weeks and the semester is done and my 1/2 time person will be here. But I have to shift back to my old self for that to work well.

I am also a very shared governance type of leader – but folks have to be committed enough to come to meetings for that to work. Many of my staff have never met one another. All contract staffs who work off-site are a huge lesson in conflict – and the one full timer (Ms Graves) doing all the work – which is my old family of origin pattern and not a healthy place to stay.

I felt strong enough to pull rank cause complaining about something that happened months ago and has been adjusted just drains the org. I feel embarrassed for some of my behavior when I was sick – but we all just have to move on and focus on building a better system for the future. Thanks for your words. Building relationships one day at a time. Cathy

[cathycnm]

#1072042

Hi all – An update. This staffer pulled the same song and dance with one of my other employees – blaming her for everything. I honestly feel better – this is very obviously a mis-match for the underachiever employee. The team here is small and tight knit – people either fit or they don’t. I don’t think it is a click – but it is a team and non-team-players who cannot make meetings, orientations, etc and then blame others that they are missing info just don’t fit. We have learned a lot from this and will shore up our interview and orientation process. Mismatches hurt everyone. I know my Graves impacted my leadership – and I need to rebuild some relationships that were hurt but I am now seeing that my illness may not have been the major cause of this employee’s behavior. Blessings to all for your kind words. I grow stronger each day. And my punctal plugs are a huge hit. I can read and not be in pain, again!!!! One step forward!

[Author]

Posts