[tekkafrost]

#1060665

Greetings,

This is my first time ever posting on a medical board and I’m not quite sure where to start. I’m a 28 year old Male and my Wife is 31. Late last year and early this year she and I both noticed that her right eye started to bulge and not be able to close fully by itself. We went to the eye doctor and they gave us some prescription, it didn’t work as it was only trying to address the eye. After a few months (now around late July/early August) of no changes we went to another doctor and she was diagnosed with Graves disease.

I hadn’t noticed any sort of mood changes, weight loss or any of the common symptoms for Graves late last year but after she was diagnosed and started her medication she started having mood swings. One minute she will be happy and fine and joking and actually talking with me; The next minute she is upset, angry or crying. Like any guy trying to navigate through daily decisions and long term decisions that affect both of us I sometimes say or do stupid things that can be irritating, but she has never held it against me and allowed me to be a human who makes mistakes.

I’m terrified that this isn’t going to change and I’ve put up a wall between us to mitigate painful feelings. But I’m not happy with this because I don’t feel like I can be 100% myself and free to make mistakes like any other human being. I’m constantly walking on egg shells around her to try to avoid fights but I’m getting tired because it is exhausting.

I’m trying to keep my head up and be a good husband. I try to meet her needs and listen to her but I feel like I get blamed every time I don’t quite know how to help. I worry about her emotional state because she seems all over the place.

I’m not even sure why I’m posting this, maybe I just needed to vent or needed to know that someone else on this planet has experienced this and had it end up okay. I’m just a young guy who loves his wife more than anything and doesn’t know where to turn for help.

Any resources available would be much appreciated.

Thanks,

A Concerned Husband

[Kimberly]

#1183981

Hello and welcome – Graves’ disease can definitely affect mood and emotions, and it can definitely place strain on a family situation. The good news is that your wife *should* start to see some relief once her levels are stabilized. Hopefully, she is getting regular lab work done to make sure that her dose of meds is correct and that her levels are normal and stable. (If you are interested in a 2nd opinion, the “Looking for a Doctor” thread in the announcements section of the forum has some helpful links where you can search for a doc by city/state/zip.) In the meantime, here are some resources that will hopefully be of interest:

(Note on links: if you click directly on the following link, you will need to use your browser’s “back” button to return to the boards after viewing, or you will have to log back in to the forum. As an alternative, you can right-click the link and open it in a new tab or new window).

Bulletin – An Open Letter to Husbands of Graves’ Patients:
http://gdatf.org/about/about-graves-disease/patient-education/an-open-letter-to-husbands-of-graves-patients/

Bulletin – What’s Wrong With Me? I’m Not Myself Anymore:
http://gdatf.org/about/about-graves-disease/patient-education/whats-wrong-with-me/

Video – The Emotional Aspects of Graves’ Disease:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CB8_5rbCso8

The majority of our posters here are patients, but we do have spouses check in from time to time. If you use the “search posts” feature in the top right-hand corner of the screen (you have to be logged in to use this), you can search for posts with keywords like “spouse”, “husband”, “wife,”, etc.. to find posts from those who have been in a similar situation.

Wishing you and your wife all the best!

[newmane]

#1183982

tekkafrost wrote:

Greetings,

This is my first time ever posting on a medical board and I’m not quite sure where to start. I’m a 28 year old Male and my Wife is 31. Late last year and early this year she and I both noticed that her right eye started to bulge and not be able to close fully by itself. We went to the eye doctor and they gave us some prescription, it didn’t work as it was only trying to address the eye. After a few months (now around late July/early August) of no changes we went to another doctor and she was diagnosed with Graves disease.

I hadn’t noticed any sort of mood changes, weight loss or any of the common symptoms for Graves late last year but after she was diagnosed and started her medication she started having mood swings. One minute she will be happy and fine and joking and actually talking with me; The next minute she is upset, angry or crying. Like any guy trying to navigate through daily decisions and long term decisions that affect both of us I sometimes say or do stupid things that can be irritating, but she has never held it against me and allowed me to be a human who makes mistakes.

Hello from a new person on here also; its a bit hard to navigate. I wanted to say I read your post and what means the most to me as a wife would be to have a husband who cares enough to ask and vent and try. It also helps me imagine how it must be for my husband but the weird thing is I don’t think I notice my own mood swings so maybe she doesn’t either ? I think I’m perfectly fine but he told me the other day I’m not the same person. We’re twice your age but same scenario. I pray your young wife will be cured and you two will have a long happy healthy marriage. As for me, I can’t wrap my head around the fact that the medical community knows nothing about this. I feel discouraged and confused. I’m not the same person I was 2 yrs ago. Then you have people, unlike yourself, who have 0 understanding or empathy & criticize and put you down for being tired or moody which you can’t even control . Well good luck to all of us. This is a good way to “vent” but I don’t feel any sense of interaction with the actual medical community as in , do any physicians go on this site? Has anyone , the moderators, etc, ever communicated with any medical people in this field ? Is there anyone affiliated with this site that might offer some input based on research ? I’m looking for answers not just someplace to vent. I want to be cured. I want your wife and all the other people on here to be cured . There are “worse” diseases that’s for sure, but this one is pretty challenging. Maybe because (I don’t know for sure) it’s not fatal? it’s not bad enough to warrant enough attention? I’ve read about famous people who have it, Mrs. Bush, Sia, Missy Elliot, Maggie Smith. What have they had done? I’m specifically asking about them because they all had/have (?) the eye disfigurement and I want to know what they had done to hopefully get their vision back and repair the eye damage? How are your wife’s eyes? What is the status on her eyes? It just breaks my heart b/c she’s so young I hope they aren’t bad! sorry I just realized I wrote in the middle of your post. I’m tired and have kind of fought to get on this site today so at this point Im going to leave my comments here b/c I’m too tired to re-post. I hope you know how to reply to me so I can read your reply? newmane is my log in name. thank you and hang in there! I feel bad for you two!

I’m terrified that this isn’t going to change and I’ve put up a wall between us to mitigate painful feelings. But I’m not happy with this because I don’t feel like I can be 100% myself and free to make mistakes like any other human being. I’m constantly walking on egg shells around her to try to avoid fights but I’m getting tired because it is exhausting.

I’m trying to keep my head up and be a good husband. I try to meet her needs and listen to her but I feel like I get blamed every time I don’t quite know how to help. I worry about her emotional state because she seems all over the place.

I’m not even sure why I’m posting this, maybe I just needed to vent or needed to know that someone else on this planet has experienced this and had it end up okay. I’m just a young guy who loves his wife more than anything and doesn’t know where to turn for help.

Any resources available would be much appreciated.

Thanks,

A Concerned Husband

tekkafrost wrote:

Greetings,

This is my first time ever posting on a medical board and I’m not quite sure where to start. I’m a 28 year old Male and my Wife is 31. Late last year and early this year she and I both noticed that her right eye started to bulge and not be able to close fully by itself. We went to the eye doctor and they gave us some prescription, it didn’t work as it was only trying to address the eye. After a few months (now around late July/early August) of no changes we went to another doctor and she was diagnosed with Graves disease.

I hadn’t noticed any sort of mood changes, weight loss or any of the common symptoms for Graves late last year but after she was diagnosed and started her medication she started having mood swings. One minute she will be happy and fine and joking and actually talking with me; The next minute she is upset, angry or crying. Like any guy trying to navigate through daily decisions and long term decisions that affect both of us I sometimes say or do stupid things that can be irritating, but she has never held it against me and allowed me to be a human who makes mistakes.

I’m terrified that this isn’t going to change and I’ve put up a wall between us to mitigate painful feelings. But I’m not happy with this because I don’t feel like I can be 100% myself and free to make mistakes like any other human being. I’m constantly walking on egg shells around her to try to avoid fights but I’m getting tired because it is exhausting.

I’m trying to keep my head up and be a good husband. I try to meet her needs and listen to her but I feel like I get blamed every time I don’t quite know how to help. I worry about her emotional state because she seems all over the place.

I’m not even sure why I’m posting this, maybe I just needed to vent or needed to know that someone else on this planet has experienced this and had it end up okay. I’m just a young guy who loves his wife more than anything and doesn’t know where to turn for help.

Any resources available would be much appreciated.

Thanks,

A Concerned Husband

[Author]

Posts