1. Don’t sweat petty things, and don’t pet sweaty things.
2. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
3. The older you get, the better you realize you were.
4. Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.
5. Women like silent men, they think they’re listening.
6. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
7. Do pediatricians play miniature golf on Wednesdays?
8. Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?
9. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery.
10. If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
11. If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?
12. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
