Anyone on this board who has ever read any of my posts knows how much the depression “issue” rips me into pieces……
Ugh, depression. Manic/Depression was first…(around 12 yrs old), then, as I continued to “age”, the swings were nothing less than horrific. My sweet, old doc (Internist) said, “you are experiencing a little nervous breakdown.” I was calling from a pay-phone to find out my blood results. At that time, I was 19, in college, organizing local craft fairs, totally active. To this day, I have no idea how I got to that phone booth. Nor, do I remember the subsequent two weeks prior to that call, except the doctor visit & blood draw.
I also have a vivid recollection of a “bar fight” (oh boy, am I really letting out the skeletons!?)….in which I was somehow involved….or the men/man I had “taken up with…”. I was not in my mind. I was somewhere else (?) I left that phone booth and drove straight to my parents. Only one constant, longtime friend had a notion of what all had happened to me. I had enough presence of mind to “go home”. Not my home, but, my parents home. I got there and remembered I had my own home…
In the 22 yrs. since that episode, I have NEEDED anti-depressants. Final straw on this issue was asking the doc, “Again?”…will I have to be on this chemical, forever? Possibly.
I’m on the longest “run” of anti-depressant, ever. It’s been ten years. I’m comfortable, now. I really no longer care if I ever get off them, again.
Hope this gets back to you, Andi. I AM an extreme example. I’m sure this will strike a chord to some others on this bb as well. My point is that you need to be open to any med’s that will “help” make you more comfortable in your own skin. I’m a proponent of drug therapies. Symptoms come & go with this disease. Frustrating, at best.
The most serious days of my life have been when I was NOT in touch with a doctor. The more you live with this, it doesn’t make new symptoms easier to experience. BUT! Having the knowledge to know it’s not “you” but the disease, does force you to live with the changing reality. I guess we warriors truly are intelligent enough to know that drugs can “hurt us”. Quickly try to get over any stigmas you may have regarding taking “drugs”. They are made for a reason. After working in a pharmacy for seven years of high school/college time, I know the difference between a junkie & someone who needs a little medication from time to time. You aren’t rolling into the pharmacy with a shotgun, here. You are filling a prescription from your doctor. As with all new meds, stay alert to your body/mind feelings, but above all, don’t deviate from doctors’ orders!!!! Oh yeah, the psych. field is really full of nice doctors, too. They are great resources if you become “stuck”, frustrated, etc. There are too many hang-ups in the world to dwell on as it is! Take care! ‘cuz I’m exhausted now!