Post count: 93172

    I rarely, if ever, expect my husband to tailor his activity level to mine (and vice versa). We work out compromises that we can both enjoy.

    Even now that I have regained health and strength, there is a mismatch between my husband’s stamina level and mine. So, I plan for those moments (occasionally hours) when I will not be able to keep up on one of our tours or hikes. I love to read, so when I have to say “uncle”, I make sure that I have a book and a water bottle with me so that I can sit and rest while he goes off. If we were on a bus tour, it would be easier to do this, I think, than when we’re miles into the mountains. I would have my book, make sure I had some money in my wallet, and I would head back to the bus area as soon as I was feeling worn down. Perhaps sit at a cafe and have a cup of coffee, etc.

    You are probably going to have to experiment a bit, to see what you can do and cannot do at this point in time. But my personal preference in situations like this is for neither partner to “martyr” themselves. For example, my husband doesn’t have to give up what he loves simply because I don’t think I can do it; and I do not have to drain myself of energy and stamina trying to keep up if things are truly too much for me. He has to allow me to say “enough”, and I have to allow h im to enjoy what he enjoys. It is a win/win situation.

    Bobbi — NGDF Online Facilitator