kallikat
Jeff,
You’ve gotten a lot of really good advice. The part of your letter that prompted my response was the statement about having teenagers. I actually thought my 16 year old son was giving me a heart attack when I first went to the Dr about my symptoms. After being hooked up to an EKG machine and having many tests done that was ruled out.
But for the few days it took for test results to come back, it was very tense at home. My husband blamed my son, and so forth…
When the GD diagnosis was made, we were all happy that my heart was okay….but what exactly is Graves???? My oldest son at college read up on it; my husband and I surfed the internet and talked to my Dr. My youngest son listened to what we and his brother told him. For a time my family treated me like I was fragile and could break any minute. At first I liked that, but they tended to overlook ALL emotions and patronize me. Even when I was serious they would tell me to calm down and take it easy, etc… That was frustrating.
Then we went through a period where, I think they all were getting tired of babying me. Which was fine – I didn’t feel I was handicapped and had told them on several occasions to stop treating me like a baby. But then I had to remind them that I really was emotionally fragile sometimes. Now, almost 2 years later, we have settled into a comfortable way of dealing with it. We don’t talk about it all the time, but if we’re out shopping together, they automatically carry my bags, or find a bench to rest on every now and then, etc….without speaking or making a big deal of it. They know I cry very easily now, when I didn’t before. It doesn’t alarm them anymore – they just hug me and give me a tissue. They also approach me differently with problems. My husband has really stepped up to the plate and taken responsibility for solving all the problems, filling me in when necessary and telling me it’s taken care of.
I guess what I’m saying, Jeff, is – if you love your wife, be there for her and understand these changes in her body are not her choice, and it’s nothing personal against you. I don’t know for sure, but I’m guessing she really really needs you, probably more than ever before, whether she says so or not.
Hang in there.