[mamabear]

#1071019

Of course you need to be on here letting it out!!! That is what support is all about. Look at me, Remission two years and I dont feel good and have no clue why. I feel a little better so hoping all will be well soon and I have to remember that I must keep myself healthy and rested.

Lets get to the matter that concerns me most….yes yes yes… Hubby! Lets just put this into perspective for a moment. You are ill and have been and he is living with you and your illness and has absolutely no clue how to help you and well lets face it men don’t have the job of mommy for a reason. God gave that to us because and made the men strong to work outside the home. Sorry to sound…ummm chauvinistic but those are the cold hard facts. Unless a mother passes during birth, and a man is forced to go into that "mode" of mama and papa.. they don’t otherwise. Thankfully he does not have to do that but more importantly is that he might feel what the hell is going on. Shes ok, no she isn’t , yes she is , no she’s not…He isn’t understanding it all and doesn’t want to see you the way you were and if terrified that something might happen to you and what if it does, what will he do with the kids and what will he do about not being with you….. <

---

This is him panicking about loosing you. Unless he is a heartless man(which i doubt he is), then he is just blowing off steam by saying he’s tired of you being tired. Of course he is tired! Men Fix things, if they can’t fix it then they are worthless (in their own eyes). He can’t fix you so he has no clue what to do about you. It is so normal and please forgive him for it. ” title=”Wink” /> He is only human just like the rest of us.

Now…on the other hand, does he had all the info about this disease he needs to know to help him understand that this isn’t your fault? If he does then give him space and ignore what he says. BUT ask him calmly when you are sitting down together if he understands what is happening and if there are questions he would like to ask you so he can understand better.

How old are the kids? I Have 4 and they go through stages. If i can be some help with that please let me know. I have 14 and 6 yr old (boys) and girls are 4 and 2 going on 5 and 3 soon. They all go through stages and growth spurts and of course selfish phases and of course (omg why did she have another kid, I NEED attention). it’s normal and also normal for you and your dh to not be able to handle it or get tired of hearing the whining. PM me about it, we’ll talk.

I am just finishing up dd4 going through a growth spurt. She was peeing the bed due to it but teaching her to stop and go helps strengthen her urethra and helps give her confidence that she wont continue to pee in the bed. Naturally dd2 is potty training(she’s almost 3 tho) and well she feels that going poop in the diaper THEN trying to take the diaper off and put the poop in the potty and making a huge mess is doing mama a favor. I have to laugh as I clean it up ,because it wont happen but just this time and then we move on to a new chapter for them. Life goes by so fast and I know you feel you are missing so many things.

Rest and teach dh about this disease and understand that he will deal with it in his own way as well. If need be have him come on here and talk for support as well. If he needs to vent to us then let him, PM us if he feels the need. It’s private and there is no bickering back and forth. If he feels he doesn’t want to then thats ok too. But stressing over this AND about the kids isn’t helping the situation. Lets try to get the kids situation sorted out and figure a way to help your wee one through what he is going through. I’m not an expert but I sure have had some years with several of em!

Hugs to you and know that no matter how much you complain…it’s always fine in here to get it out. Some days all I need is to just get it out and then i’m fine. Others are not so simple but hey we’re only human! ” title=”Wink” />

[hyperm]

#1019342

Hey all,

Well I am back on the emotional rollercoaster. Although I much better that what I was after the TS – I seem to have plateaued and am just stuck. I am still extremely exhausted so much so that I really struggle to climb the stairs in my home. My heart beats wildly and I am out of breath. The anxiety is the biggest issue as I can’t go out unless its to my mums who lives in the same road or I am in the car and can park outside a place to run in and out – even then its a huge ordeal.

My marriage is under a huge strain and tonight my husband stormed out the house saying he was fed up with me always being tired. My eldest wee boy is so hard to live with at the moment – won’t go into his own bed and moans constantly even though he is well attended to and we both play with him – it wouldn’t make a difference if we played or were out all day he just starts up. So that is adding strain to the marriage too. I try my hardest in the home and with my kids. I am due back at work in July ( after mat leave) and I am so worried because I will be having my op around then. My husband work is finishing up around then so there will be no income so I really need to be well to return to work. There is no way that I am fit for work I would most likely end up liable for some wrong treatment to a patient. This condition has really destroyed my life – everything is starting to crumble around me and I am so unwell to cope with it all. I am sorry to be such a moan but I have no where else to turn. My parents are in poor health and can’t offer much physical support so there is no one. If someone had told me a few years back that my life could practically destroyed by GD I wouldn’t have believed them. I am so scared to go out because of the anxiety but really that is stemming from flash backs of the TS- it has really traumatised me. I spoke with my boss at work – who was a theatre ? HDU nurse and she highlighted that patients she had nursed with TS did suffer PTSD.

I am so sorry to be back on here letting it all out – I just don’t know which way to turn, I really feel Heaven has turned its back on me ” title=”Sad” />

Thanks for listening.

M xxx

[hyperm]

#1071020

Thanks mammabear. Emotionally I am feeling better this morning. Thanks for you advice and concern. My hubby does have a good knowledge of the condition and my BIL (his brother) is a medic in Japan so he has helped explain etc… I guess its just family life sometimes and like you say living with a partner who is ill all the time doesn’t help the situation. I hope your symptoms have settled down and are feeling better
.

Muchos gracias! ” title=”Smile” /> ” title=”Smile” /> ” title=”Smile” />

M x

[mamabear]

#1071021

You’re welcome! It is hard to go day to day with a spouse. Marriage is hard work regardless of what people might think. It’s give and take and compromise and learning what the other does and doesn’t like. As women we tend to be one way one minute and another way the next minute. Men tend to get use to our"cycles" and well it helps them know when and when not to peev us off. If that cycle changes it hurts them in the sense of they are so confused and have no clue how to figure us out. Lets face it it’s hard enough to figure a woman out, put kids and illness in the mix and you got a guy who wants his mommy ! I don’t blame them. Just like no one can blame you for wanting to be better.
If you need me about the kids PM me. There are always tricks and tips that can be passed along parent to parent. Some work some don’t but you don’t know till you try it.

I am feeling a little better in my mood but still very tired and not able to stay asleep. I will be calling my general dr. this week to let her know how I am doing. I am going to ask her her opinion on the situation and the symtpoms and see what she says. If she feels that meds are in order then I will discuss with her what kind and go from there. thank you

[enough3]

#1071022

Want to post more…in a hurry. PLease know that I’m praying for you! Their is light at the end of the tunnel!!!! PROMISE:) Try to give your anxiety to God. He will not over load you. That is a pro ” title=”Smile” /> mise from Him:) Stay strong and know that you are not losing you mind…this will pass….before you know it:) You are in my thoughts:)

I’ll write more later…Meredith ” title=”Wink” />

[ely2009]

#1071023

Hi there. I was gone all weekend so am just seeing this now – didn’t want you to think I was ignoring you. I don’t have time for a long reply, but will say a prayer for you and will write more later tonight.

” title=”Razz” /> Emily

[ely2009]

#1071024

I DO believe that there is a light at the end! Some days I have to remind myself of that because I don’t always FEEL like there will be. I try to think about time in terms of weeks – like last Monday I was really shaky and today was a good day, so next Monday will probably be even better. Sometimes I feel like I’m wishing time away (which I don’t like doing), but it helps me to focus on the future and not how crappy my day may be going.

AS far as my husband goes – he is incredibly patient! I often think that if our roles were reversed that I would certainly not be as understanding, patient, consoling, helpful, etc. as he has been while we’ve been dealing with GD. I KNOW that I would have blown up at least a few times if I had to deal with ME! I know it’s been hard on him as well as my kids, but it is what it is and we’re getting through together. We talk about things that are bothering us and pray together.

I understand the anxiety. ” title=”Wink” /> Have you read The Thyroid Solution? That book explains well the link between emotions and the thyroid. It was really helpful to me.

Please keep us updated – don’t feel like you are whining – the emotional rollarcoaster is part of Graves – we all know that all too well.

Prayers and hugs,
Emily

[hyperm]

#1071025

Thanks so much everyone. I really don’t know what I would do without you all – its unbelievable that I am getting so much support from so far away!

God bless

M x

p.s Emily I am going to look for that book!

xx

[RhondaG4]

#1071026

Hyperm,
My husband is a God send…but…even with that, after my stroke 2 years ago and now the GD, I finally sat down one day and wrote an email to him. It was easier that way cause then he didn’t feel like I was chewing him out. He is wonderful and supportive in so many ways, I can’t imagine what I would do without him, but we still have our issues. I basically asked him point blank….do you really think I want to have this disease? Like I sat around and asked God to give me something that would turn my life upside down and backwards? That seemed to jar him into reality a little more. And like Mamabear said, if they can’t fix it, they get scared and don’t know how to deal with it sometimes. Especailly after your TS, I’m sure that scared him to no end. My hubby has seen me in ICU once and next step down just 2 weeks ago. He was trying to be brave for me, but I could see the fear in his face.

More importantly then that, this is the place that we all can go to, where everyone on here knows how we feel. This is the place to….well just throw a temper fit like our kids if we need to. I know exactly where your coming from. Having little ones in the house is very hard, especially if you don’t have help. Not that my hubby doesn’t help mind you, but there is only so many hours in a day, and God love him, he works third shift so he can take me and our little one to Dr. appts..ect.

The other thing…with me having double pneumonia..he had to take a week off of work while I was in the hospital..and then I had to go to my son’s boot camp graduation…so there went another week of work. His next paycheck will be a big goose egg. Men are funny about being able to provide for their familes. That maybe on your hubbys mind as well.

Sometimes I wonder if there is light at the end of the tunnel…what I wonder about is if it is a train*LOL*. It’s not…but sometimes it doesn’t feel that way. Hang in there sweetie, we are all here for you. Hugs and prayers, Rhonda

[hyperm]

#1071027

Hi,

Thanks Rhonda and Emily. My hubby is supportive and understanding – I think its just it gets too much sometimes and with the little one playing up its hard. Thats life I suppose!

Thanks so much for all your kind words and prayers.

M xxx

[catsmum]

#1071028

HI M,

Sorry, I’ve been off line a few days & have just seen your post.
So sorry things are so tough for you right now. I completely understand how chronic illness can affect relationships as I’ve been off work for 2 1/2 of the last 4 years with ME. It puts immense pressure on relationships, and add to that having small kids! I think you are amazing for being so strong.
I am concerned about your emotional health, have you spoken to your GP or a CPN. Is it possible that as well as GD you have postnatal depression? I’d recommend seeing your GP for help & support. Being a medical professional yourself I’m sure you are aware of the many possible routes available. I have found it useful in the past to have someone, like a CPN, to talk to as it means I had someone else to vent at rather than my husband.
Please take care of yourself,
Love Wx

[julies]

#1071029

It is good to know I am not alone with feeling this way. I just found out this past Friday that I have Graves disease and hyperthyroidism, I have been a mess for months, well for years, I have been awful to my family, and very distant, not knowing why, the physical aspects of this disease is one thing, but the mental, no one says anything, I thought I was going crazy. I believe I’ve bee sick for a while. I am about to turn 44 in June, I know that this is crazy, but I do not want to gain weight. I am 5’1 and was 115; I have already gained three pounds due to quitting smoking; now five weeks clean from that, but I feel blotted right now and have only noticed the weight in the last few weeks I just started a new medication, called Methimazole. Is this normal, I am not eating any more than usually, does anyone know if this is normal.

[hyperm]

#1071030

Hi,

Thanks for your reply! Firstly, how is Cat and how are you? It helps to know others out there appreciate how hard it can be with illness and having a young family.

I appreciate what you are saying regarding PND, but I am positive its not that as I had an episode of depression around 8 years ago which lasted for about 18 months. I have been screened with my HV, GP and my endo. They are all in agreeance that its thyroid related. My endo stated at my last visit that my bloods were so bad and that yes I was going off my head with levels like that. He said that he could have testified in court that I wasn’t responsible for my actions while my bloods were like that if I had to do anything illegal . I am a very impatient person when it comes to myself as I used to be able to cope with so much, was at the gym 5 nights a week for a 2 hour work out etc… There is no point in looking back but that doesn’t change the inner me. I have to try and remember how ill I have been with and after the TS. My bloods are still not in range which is so frustrating

I suppose its an accumulation of GD, trying to be a good mum and wife, my hubby’s work situation and whatever life decides to throw at me on a daily basis. I met a family friend today who has had a terrible life – 2 of her sons commited suicide and her SIL too. It made me count my blessings, all be it hard to stay positive at the moment.

We took the kids for lunch today – HUGE EFFORT anxiety wise. I had to succombe to taking diazepam (haven’t taken it in around a month) just to get over the front door. My eldest was asking to go and I don’t want to always be saying no. I have flashbacks of the events leading up to and at the time of TS and I think it is PTSD> The bizzarre thing is I need OT to get my confidence back and as a clinician I can see all the signs etc.. but its funny how when it comes to yourself it doesn’t matter whether you are a brain surgeon – it just all comes to a standstill.

Oh well onwards and upwards!

M xxx

[catsmum]

#1071031

Hi M,

I can totally understand your frustration. Until I became ill I was teaching full time (including PE), head of Science department & running afterschool fitness clubs aswell as setting up my own business. However when I became ill I was unable to stay awake for more than about an hour without a 1-2 hour rest. I was so weak I couldn’t even pick up a saucepan & I couln’t step outisde my front door alone, and even with my hubby there I was incredibly anxious if there were any people around or I was somewhere unfamiliar.

But things do improve, that hardest thing when you have been so active, is accepting that its a long, slow process & you need to take it one small step at a time. I’ve started attending a Health Start programme my GP referred me to. I can have up to 2 hours supervised exercise with a personal trainer twice a week. I was really nervous to go at first but once there I met alot of people of all ages & abilities who were there to try to get their lives back on track. It is good to know you are not alone. I only managed 30mins aerobics & 30 mins circuit training today but that is a lots more than I could do 1 month ago so ‘GO ME!!!’ ” title=”Very Happy” />

Try to focus on what you have or can do, no matter how small, rather than what you can’t do. Celebrate your achievements – you took the kids out today, that will have been tough but you did it ” title=”Smile” /> Well done!

Cat is totally wrecked at the minute. She went to a music festival at the weekend and it has really taken it out of her. She too is so frustrated that she can’t do what her peers are doing. She managed one full day at festival but only 2 hours on second day. She’s been really upset today & despite her extreme fatigue she can’t sleep. I guess things are praying on her mind with the biopsy plus A levels etc, although she won’t admit that she’s worried. Just hope we get called in for her biopsey this week, the waiting is awful.

Take care of yourself & remember to celebrate small achievements.
Love Wx

[hyperm]

#1071032

Hey W,

You are absolutely right- small achievements! Its a shame that you are in a similar situation but I think once I have my op then I will hire a treadmill and start some gentle exercise. Poor Cat, have you thought about RAI or an other route? It must be hard on her and you as after all you are unwell yourself and the caregiver – it doesn’t matter if you aren’t able to be very active as a mum your mind is always on the job eh?

Thanks again for your words of comfort. I hope the biopsy goes ok.

M xx

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