[ewmb]

#1069886

Hi,
If you search here for Graves Rage you will find some things that might sound familiar. A lot of people seem to become angry at the drop of a hat when they are very hyperthyroid. I don’t think it’s on purpose. One of the facilitators may write you back with more clues to look for in the archives. He does need to find out his levels and most doctors, even your GP could order all the tests for you and then you could talk to potential doctor’s offices on the phone with some lab results in hand. That might help you figure out which offices are most likely to deal with Graves patients. There are some good threads here also about what to ask the doctor when you are first diagnosed.

Hope you find some answers soon .I know it can be hard. I was the grouchy patient in my house. I had RAI about 9 weeks ago and am slowly feeling different if not better yet.

ewmb

[cathycnm]

#1069887

Cruiser – First of all, I applaud your ability to look at your husband’s strengths beyond his current state! We are, indeed, supersensitive to good old adrenaline when we are hyper. Adrenaline is the fight or flight hormone. I know I am hyper when I start yelling at my cats – for being cats! I am not happy, nor are they, in that moment. Being angry is a bit of internal h___ for me, as it is for most of us.

Would he consider counseling? While it is very important for him to get his levels monitored (I agree with seeing the GP for now, while you search. They might be able to make recommendations on endos, too), it may also be helpful to get some counseling now. There are many stress management strategies that may provide some temporary relief for both of you. Of course, this is a very personal choice that needs to feel right for each person.

As for not wanting to be around the moods, that is totally understandable. As humans, our brains are drawn to positive emotion and away from negative ones. I hope you will let us know how it is going and remember we are here for support. It will be so important for you to take care of yourself now, too.

[Cruizer]

#1019182

Hi all,

I’m so glad I found this site. Hopefully,you can give me some insight into what my husband is going through who was diagnosed with Grave’s about 5 years ago, and suggest help.

He has been on various doses of Methimazole since his diagosis, but I don’t believe the medication is really working for him anymore, especially now. He is very angry inside most of the time, thinks most people are taking advantage of him or idiots, can’t get to sleep, and drinks a lot to try to regulate his mood. His eyes are also very bulgy. His eyes are probably worse now, but have been that way since we were married 28 years ago. He is 48 years old. Almost everything I do is wrong, and he overreacts to most things he has to deal with and takes it quite personally. This is not his normal self, but he has been this way for years, though its extremely worse in the last few months. (He has gone through short periods where he is fine emotionally.) Right now, he needs constant reasurrence that he is wonderful and loved. His thinking is very negative. He was first diagnosed because he was shaking, first his hands, then arms, and finally legs. He hide it from me at first, then eventually couldn’t hide it anymore. That’s when I got him to the doctor for help.

We were just getting ready to do his blood work again this Friday, after 3 months, but now his doctor is moving out of state and won’t be available anymore. There are no other endro doctors in that town, so I am looking for another doctor in another town. The closest cities have populations of about 30,000 to 40,000 people and they are 30 to 60 miles away. Of course, we are willing to travel to get the best treatment.

Any help for my wonderful husband would be really truly a godsend. He just can’t go on like this anymore. He deserves better. And, I can’t take it anymore either, I hate to admit it but the time I see him, I wish a could hide from his horrible mood and critisisum.

[hyperm]

#1069888

Hi,

Sorry to hear things are not good at the moment for both you and your husband. Just a quick message as on my way out. Moodswings are common in thyroid patients. For me it was a complete change of personality and as Cathy highlighted I had no control over them at all. I could be fine one moment then spot a cup in the sink and really let loose…. Its horrible for you but it is horrible for him too as he has no control at times and it does put a lot of strain on families.
Hopefully once the meds start to kick in he will become more stable mood wise.

In the meantime – yes hide if you must until each storm is over as in my experience it didn’t help if my hubby was around infact sometimes it just fueled the fire and then afterwards I was left with a tremendous amount of guilt until the next moodswing 5 mins later

M xxx

[Sue_Conard]

#1069889

Hang in there Cruizer…I commend you on the fact that you post here for support that we all can give you. I could only WISH that my husband was interested enough in this monstrous disease to find out more about my symptoms and who I am now, since my diagnosis. I can tell you that I am like Dr. Jekyl & Mr. Hyde with my mood swings, etc. and it has truly taken a strain on my marriage too. Realize your husband has other wonderful qualities and hide when you need to from this disease. I tell my husband every day, "I’m not the person I used to be"…it so sad too. Let us know your frustrations, we’re here for you!! I know your husband is very grateful for you, it’s rough on everyone surrounding us when we become someone we don’t like b/c of this disease.

[Ski]

#1069890

Great input so far ~ the only thing I can add is that, once you find a new doctor, you may be able to have labs drawn locally and transmitted to your doctor so that you don’t have to make the long drive each time your husband needs to see where his levels are. With successful treatment, all of his rage should subside, but I know it’s tough in the meantime. I am SO calm most of the time, but when I was actively hyperthyroid, you wouldn’t have wanted to know me. It feels like a train overtaking us when the rage begins, and believe me, we CANNOT stop it sometimes. It is largely chemical, though it "looks" emotional. Knowing that MAY help, but it doesn’t end the rages, and it doesn’t make you feel much better when they come on, I know.

Jake has my favorite method for dealing with it, though it takes someone who is emotionally aware in the moment, and that can be rare ~ he would find himself in the midst of a rage, realize that it was irrational, and he would start yelling something different instead. He would start yelling "I LOVE YOU! I DON’T WANT TO HURT YOU! I’M NOT EVEN ALL THAT ANGRY! I DON’T KNOW HOW TO STOP THIS!" It sounds silly, but maybe that’s the point ~ it injects some silliness in the moment and breaks the nasty tension.

Do what you need to do for yourself to get through this, and please understand that he’s still the man you’ve always known. You’ll find that man again when his levels are well managed. Remember that once his levels reach the normal range, his body will only BEGIN to heal, so these symptoms may continue for some time afterward, though to a lesser degree all the time. Graves’ took a long time to come on, and it can take almost as long for the body to fully recover. In the meantime, with treatment, things should be a LITTLE better all the time. Find those improvements, and rejoice in them. And get yourself out of the house when you just can’t take it anymore.

[hyperm]

#1069891

Sue – just wanted to comment on you saying "i’m not the person I used to be". I say that so often. I also wonder will I ever be that person again??? It feels sad somedays when I think about what I was able to achieve and now its a day to day existence and I pat myself on the back if I make dinner and wash the dishes ” title=”Wink” />

M xx

[Sue_Conard]

#1069892

Hello Hyperm…THANKS for recognizing my post b/c I’m NOT the person I used to be and I don’t know if I’ll ever know her again. I truly believe she moved out of this house almost a yr. ago with this dx. Even when my levels become "normal" to my endo dr., this monster has changed me permanently. When my friends ask me how I feel, all I can say to them is, "I got up this morning, put one foot in front of the other, and here I am". It is so sad…at least you make dinner and do the dishes. I order out, bring it home and eat on paper plates most nights…that’s the TRUTH.

[Ski]

#1069893

Try to be forgiving of what you must do to get through a day without collapsing. I know it’s tough when things change, and we feel SO inadequate. Consider how you’d feel if one of your very best friends were going through chemotherapy, having issues with energy and unable to handle her regular day. Now, feel that same level of compassion toward YOURSELF, because it may not look like it to others, but your body is going through similar trauma, and you need just as much compassion, help and forgiveness for not being where you’d like to be physically. (And this message is as much for those around you as for you. They need to realize this is not someone who suddenly became lazy and doesn’t WANT to step up, this is a person who wants desperately to get back to the way things once were, but is absolutely unable to do that yet.)

You WILL return. I know that because I’ve seen it, in many many many participants here. Go back six months in posts and see if the names are the same. For the most part they are not ~ many have dropped off because they have returned to their own lives, they don’t need us any more, and they’re too busy to check in and let us know they finally feel FABULOUS. You’ll get there too, but you must go through this period first. I know it’s no fun, I was there too. I was diagnosed when my kids were 5 and 6, and I thought I’d go out of my mind, but I’ve come through it, we’re all healthy, our relationships are healthy, and I’m so grateful I had this place for validation, venting, and information.

[josiesf]

#1069894

Hi guys, I’m actually HAPPY to read this post so that I know I’m not going crazy. Thank you all for sharing!

A lot of times I feel so manic, especially with my personal relationships. Everything my boyfriend does drives me crazy, he says that I am hypercritical and that stinks I don’t want to make him feel like crap! One second I want to give up and break up with him and another second I think he is awesome and want to marry him. I’m surprised he’s still with me!

So I’m on PPU now (after allergy to Tapazole), 3 times a day, 50mg. It’s been 2 weeks, no change yet.

When does this craziness go away? 6 months is what it looks I’m reading?

[jojoransom]

#1069895

Hello to all
I now understand why I feel crazy- most of the time I feel like I can just rip somebody’s, anybody’s head off- just for breathing!!!! With Graves’ – you LOOK normal, you don’t LOOK sick, but inside is just a volcano waiting to explode and there is no relief. I was diagnosed in May and was seeing an endo that I didn’t feel respected my decisions. My GP has found another but not seeing him until Nov. The question in my head – did I not like the last endo because I have Graves’ rage or was he really being a jerk? My sister says that he was being a jerk- which if I had any other disease and delt with a Dr like him, I would have found another one. It’s that Graves’ is so emotional and gets in your head and fills you with such doubt and insecurity- it feels like there’s no control over anything. I will keep reading the archives on this site for the validation that I need- I thank God for this site and the wonderful people who are there for support. I think I would be a crazier person if I had not found this website.

jojo

[npatterson]

#1069896

I wish I didn’t hear this so often! "i-am-not-the-same-person-I-used-to-be" is an all=too common theme. It’s not just newly diagnosed, although it can be almost comical in retrospect–but NOT now.

Just want you to know that I copied this entire group of posts to the psychiatrist that will be at the conference. He has Graves’, and can be very entertaining about his early years. But I think we need more depth (if it is possible).

To all of you…Take care,

[hyperm]

#1069897

Ski wrote:Try to be forgiving of what you must do to get through a day without collapsing. I know it’s tough when things change, and we feel SO inadequate. .

Ski is so right in what she is saying. Also yes if you read back on my posts – gosh I was a wreck! I couldn’t even wash a cup or do anything except sit at my dinning table with my head in my hands praying that my kids didn’t need my attention. My mum is so realistic, there are 6 of us and she had a really hard life so she is very sympathetic. I remember her saying to me one day you know what you are needing to do – order take aways until you are well again. I was shocked to hear her say that as she has had poor health most of her life but cooked from scratch for all of us every day, but as she said she had no choice as my dad was very domineering.

I gave myself a break some days and did order in Chinese etc… In fact my 4 year old when tired will say " Will we just order something in mummy" So there you go thats how often that happened in our house that he could repeat it. ” title=”Very Happy” />

I find it very hard to be gentle with myself and carry an tremendous amount of guilt around. I remember you replying to one of my posts Sue when we were having a wee rant about spouses. If I remember correctly you don’t get a lot of help at home – which is so frustrating and heart breaking when you feel you are ready to crumble in a heap. What I always found ironic is these are the times you should really be eating nutritiously yet don’t have the energy. I often thought/ think about that..but what can you do?

Cruizer, I hope your husband is starting to feel better and you too for that matter xxxx

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