[amberlynn]

#1068591

My son (13 as well) is often this way. feels he has no friends, is good at nothing. My husband and I try really hard to get a grip on it, but it is really hard. My husband often gets really frustrated at the mopey sad thing and I try really hard to encourage him and give him more responsibilty and let him make more decisions for himself. It is a double edge sword. I think that no matter what, they are going to be pressured to be perfect and then they fall short or don’t do what they think they should be able to do. There is a lot of pressure out there and I think that with all the doctors/teachers/tv saying that 13 year olds are supposed to be depressed and sad, that is exactly what they are. We let them use excuses and let them get away with the give me everything attitude and do it for me attitude. I do the best I can, that is all we can do. I have been 13 and was depressed and thought no one loved me…it gets a lot harder when they do grow up, but they will, and we just have to get them through it, so to speak. I believe there are no answers, only more questions.

I just talked to my son to see what he thinks, he said to trust your daughter to make the decision. It is really only at school that he feels depressed because he feels picked on, not at home, he feels safe here.

I think our kids are so programmed to make sure everyone likes them or approves of them that they don’t know what to do anymore.

Good luck!

[carla]

#1068592

Thanks Amber lyn, I should have said in my post, that Carla has Graves disease, she was diagnosed on 5 June this year. Hence asking for help from the forum. Thanks for your reply, it is good to know that you understand.

[Peter]

#1068593

HI Carla,

The Graves’ Foundation has "advocates" or volunteers who are available to offer help in specific areas.

I suggest you send an email to Michelle – she has a teenager and has alot of knowledge on the struggles you’re going thru.

Here’s her email: michelle.moraczewski@norfolk.gov

Let me know if we can help further.

Peter

[carla]

#1019035

Hi guys, boy have I had the afternoon from hell with my daughter. All began in last period of school today when she had sport. The phys ed teacher said that the class had to run 400 m and if they stopped, they would have to do it again. Carla ran the 400m, came up near the top of the field, but she was unable to do any sport after this and wanted to vomit, felt dizzy and sick. She came to the car after school in tears because, as she put it, she can’t do anything properly anymore and she wants her old life back. She says she has no friends, which is total poo, but she feels like she is a complete failure at everything now. It has taken about 4 hours for her to calm down and be happy again. As Graves disease sufferers, I hear you on the forum and realize that this happens, but can you help me help her. You know what she is feeling, what should I say? She is absolutely determined she is running the 200 m and 100 m in the athletics carnival in 2 weeks time, do I let her or not? Help needed from all mums and GD sufferers please. Thanks, Val

[Madame_X]

#1068594

carla wrote:Hi guys, boy have I had the afternoon from hell with my daughter. All began in last period of school today when she had sport. The phys ed teacher said that the class had to run 400 m and if they stopped, they would have to do it again. Carla ran the 400m, came up near the top of the field, but she was unable to do any sport after this and wanted to vomit, felt dizzy and sick. She came to the car after school in tears because, as she put it, she can’t do anything properly anymore and she wants her old life back. She says she has no friends, which is total poo, but she feels like she is a complete failure at everything now. It has taken about 4 hours for her to calm down and be happy again. As Graves disease sufferers, I hear you on the forum and realize that this happens, but can you help me help her. You know what she is feeling, what should I say? She is absolutely determined she is running the 200 m and 100 m in the athletics carnival in 2 weeks time, do I let her or not? Help needed from all mums and GD sufferers please. Thanks, Val

Wow, would I have had an issue with this teacher.

What do you mean "they have to do it again" if they stop?

And did this teacher not see the student was in physical distress?

I recommend a meeting with this poor excuse of a teacher and I’d give the teacher the lowdown of what my daughter’s condition entails (and I imagine she’s probably on leave from phys ed due to her condition — I’m a full grown adult and my endo told me no exercise or a gym or anything until maybe October)

[cbsands]

#1068595

I can definitely relate to your post. My daughter is 13 as well and was diagnosed at 10 with Graves’. She also would talk about wishing she didn’t have it and was ‘normal’. My daughter is really fortunate and responded well to the drugs. She originally was on PTU 3 times a day and atenolol (her resting heart rate was around 140 when diagnosed so that was prescribed to keep that in check). She has been down to just PTU after the first 6 months and just takes that twice a day. For her it is now just a routine to take the meds and get the bloodwork done every three months since she is really pretty much symptom free. She dances 3 times a week, does tumbling once a week ( currently working on a back handspring which can be a challenge when you are 5’7"), and is playing volleyball. I know a lot of people aren’t as fortunate with this disease, but it sounds like your daughter is responding well to treatment as well. Maybe it will help her to know that there are other girls her age dealing with this as well and that while it may take time, there is the hope that she will feel ‘normal’ again. It can defintely overwhelming at their age to have this become a part of their daily life and not knowing if they will ever truly be feeling the way they used to or beable to do and enjoy the activities they did before.

[npatterson]

#1068596

I think this has at least one part that must be discussed with her doctor. The concern is for her heart.

The second is her self-esteem, etc. It is tough being an budding-teenger in even the best of circumstances, and Graves’ certainly does NOT contribute to this in a positive way. Send me an e-mail to "nancyngdf@bellsouth.net" and I will send you a really good bulletin about kids and Graves’. Most of it will help you, some of it is specific to the USA. Thanks for showing where you live.

[susant]

#1068597

Hi Val,

I would be making the school psych aware of the problem, if there is not one at the school the school will have access to someone in the area. I would be making them aware of the condition and how the symptoms may impact on her involvement in school activities. This will also provide an opportunity for Carla to meet the psych and approach her when things come up for her in the future. I am a psych myself, so if you have any problems finding send me a PM and I can provide some info on how to locate in your area.

Susanx

[Author]

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