[Bobbi]

#1067739

Well, you certainly have been through the wringer. I do understand what it is like to feel so horrid and not be getting the proper medical attention, but in my case you could have reversed the doctors. Once I got to my endo, I was in terrific hands, but the GP fooled around the diagnosis for many long months.

Anyway, one of the things you should expect, once the thyroid levels are normal, is for the anxiety attacks to go away. I suffered for many years from panic attacks, and have not seen another one since getting proper thyroid treatment.

You may, while you are going through the process from hyper to hypo and then waiting for your body to heal, find that you are still distracted/distractable and irritable. Memory issues can plague us for a while — make lists. It takes a while for all of the body systems to heal. None of it happens soon enough for us, but if you watch for progress, you will feel more encouraged than if you look for absolute "normal."

I wish you good luck, and I hope you are feeling much, much better soon.

Bobbi

[SeeSallie]

#1018898

I am new here. Reading others’ posts made me realize I wasn’t losing it mentally and boy had I found this board earlier I would have been more insisting of treatment.

I had panic attacks, nervousness, worries about death and dying and muscle weakness. THIS suffering has been going on all this year. I first noted the palpitations in Jan. 09. By March 09 the palpitations followed by intense tremors so I finally found got it checked out. Dr found it was my thyroid (blood tests).

Here is where everything goes wrong. It took three months for me to see the specialist from that point on. It was during that time I had to quit my job and try to keep it together because the tremors turned me into an irritated person.Teaching at the university wasn’t a taxing job as far as teaching goes, but I never knew when I was going to have another panic attack plus I was dead tired all the time. My general Dr (I’ll call him Dr Perfect from here on) did put me on atenolol and something for anxiety. The atenolol did help..the anxiety meds didn’t so my heart did less palpitating, but still I had them plus intense tremors. From March through July this went on with no trips to the Specialist (Dr yucky!!) though I called and called. Specialist gets me in finally in July. That should have been my first clue that I needed a different Dr. In that 1st visit, she feels my neck and then sends me out for more blood tests since by the time I saw her the results were 3 months old. (duh!) I’m shaking in the exam room but she sends me on. I come back for the test results and then she does an ultrasound on this 2nd visit. My thyroid LOOKS normal on the ultrasound so now MORE tests (A Cat scan to see inside) and another visit to her office that she schedules for a month and half out!!. WHy didn’t she do an ultrasound on my FIRST visit along with the blood tests so we’d have those two answers back at the same time? At this point it is August ( 5 months after first indications in bld tests that I am hyper). I’m still having tremors and crying all the time and not sleeping. My blood tests suggest Grave’s though because of some antibodies. Ok, so that month and half goes by, I see nuclear med for that scan. I’m feeling tossed around by now because this is all going on for to long with NO real treatment. I Go to see another Dr for a separate issue…then have the worst panic attack ever in the waiting room. I was shaking out of control, crying, hyperventilating and scaring the crap out of people. I ran into the back room area (right outside the exam rooms but away from the waiting room, that area where they weigh you and do BP) because the waiting room was freaking me out. A secretary tries to calm me down…a nurse rushes me into an available exam room and brings me water and I swear by this time I really am going to die. I am crying now just remembering this because my heart just wouldn’t slow down and I thought I was going to be gone then due to my heart getting out of control. I really thought I wasn’t going to see my children again at that point. The panic attack passes but I’m still elevated and shaking. AS I calm donw…. I get ANGRY! (With my thyroid specialist – the endocrinologist).

I am pissed that no one is helping get through this quicker given my heart is involved, so after I calm down at that Dr visit, I drive straight to my endo’s office. She isn’t in…but secretaries and a nurse there see me and can tell I am really serious because I was still shaking, my eyes were tear stained and my skin was pale. The secretary tells me I need to be seen now so she runs to get another dr or nurse. A nurse sits with me and tells me more about what is happening to me and why and also about treatment options…things my endo should have told me. I told her about the long time span from when I first came in to getting anything done and she didn’t say anything but she had a look on her face that understood why I was upset. She made me an appt. to see the endo the next day. Now I involve some personal friends who are nurses. One told me I had to finally make a pain of myself…the squeaky wheel gets oiled she said. She told me to start calling around. First the insurance company, find out if that is why things are delayed, then call the labs…find out their time frame…then call the nuclear medicine dept. ask about their time frames. I did this and it turns out it was my Dr. delaying this all along. My insurance has me pre-approved for all treatments. I called the nuclear med office and I convince them I MUST get in to see them next week. THEY were extremely sympathetic when I told them about my panic attacks and compulsive worrying of death and how I can’t go on. The secretary gets the tech who did my cat scan on the phone and he tells me he understands I am suffering and that this is normal and he would like to help me. He had an opening in a week that he will save just for me if I can get my Dr to request it. Bless him!! I could have hugged him and thanked him profusely. So the next day I’m at the endo’s thanks to that nurse who got me in right away (remember, in the beginning it took them 3 months to see me when my gen dr first made the referral). Apparently the nurse wrote up a good report about my suffering and attack because finally, the Dr pays attention to me. But too late, the nurse already told me all I needed to know and what I had questions about that previous day. I tell the Dr that nuc med can get me in right away. She says, ‘oh no…that usually takes a month or longer. So lets’ make an appt to see you back here in late Nov and I’ll call this in to nuc med.’ I stop her then and reached into my folder of papers and pulled out the names of the nuc med secretary, the nuc med tech and their numbers to the nuclear med. I tell her to call these people because they can see me next week if she will JUST Call it in. At this point I break down crying and tell her I CAN’T FUNCTION like this another month. She called it in and I got scheduled in a week. She upped my atenolol but my anxiety meds still aren’t working.

A couple of days later, I was getting closer now to having my radiation treatment THEN I start swelling in one leg. Fearful it is blood clot, I go to my general Dr. (Dr Perfect who saw me in March). He didn’t even address the leg when he came in the exam room. He said, " C! Show me your meds! You haven’t been sleeping have you!??" and I nod my head and start crying. And he pulls the stool up close to me puts an arm out and starts going through my meds. He notices I haven’t taken but 4 pills of the anti-anxiety since he prescribed them in March before sending me to that endo. WHY HAVEN’T YOU BEEN ON THESE??? I tell him they weren’t working and made me worse (sluggish) and then about the endo not helping much and he gets mad FOR me and changes my anxiety meds. He checks my leg. The swelling went down and he thinks it was thyroid related. Right then he asks to look at all my medical papers from the endo. (I carry ALL medical papers and lab results with me to any dr). He spent a good amount of time going through them and he agreed I needed to be treated sooner. The first night of being on the new anti-anxiety med, I FINALLY got relief. I cried…I couldn’t believe I could actually feel calm again.
A week goes by.
Yesterday am I had the radiation treatment and know I still have a few more months of straightening out my doses for when I become hypo. I have no idea what I will be put on and feel this should have been explained before I even went this route, but I’m so grateful to finally having a week long of relief. No tremors, no worrying about death, not irritations every time my kids interrupt me with a question…MOM is back says my 6 year old.
My general Dr. (Dr perfect) will help me find another endo. I didn’t want to change before getting my radiation for fear that would be delayed another month. But now when I get those results…I will take them to another Dr now.

One question…when I become hypo…will I finally be a rational person? I know about the weight gain and hope I can work around that with diet and exercise. But mentally…did any here have some hypo experiences with their mentality that they’d like to share? I just want to be that logical person again…not this overly emotional person.

[bprotel]

#1067740

Wow, sounds like just writing all that down may have been therapeutic for you!! hooray for you!! It is rather interesting how many of our significant others really would like to sweep all these "soft symptoms" under the rug. Folks say things like well at least you don’t have cancer. this is true but at times some validation of feelings such as mood swings, fluxuating energy and anxiety. Take things one day at a time and I have found that I really can’t overdue things like I used to be able to do and be able to bounce back the next day. I try to explain to my family but they really don’t understand. Good luck! I am 4 years post RAI and feeling pretty stable. If you have any questions just ask.

[susandemarco]

#1067741

Hi bprotel,
I am currently considering RAI, an wondering about the weigh gain. Did you gain a lot of weight after the RAI, while you were waiting
to go hypo, and if you did, once your meds were regulated, was it easy to get back to your normal weight. I hear so many stories about
weight gain and how uncontrolable it is, it really frightens me. I feel that I will never have control over my body once I take that
RAI.

I know it could be alot worse, but this disease is very nerve wracking.

If you have any input, I would appreciate any information you could share.

Thanks,
Susan

[SeeSallie]

#1067742

bprotel – I really appreciate that. I’ll let you know if I have questions.
Being new to this leaves me with the fear that I am never going to be normal again. Reading your post reminds me there will be a normal day again. I push myself to stay busy as I am sure many here do and prolly why we got sick in the first place. This year has been a year of rest which I haven’t appreciated. I’m finally accepting that I can’t do as much, but a few months ago I was really depressed over it and then would fall asleep because I was too tired (reminding me why I needed the rest). Thankfully I could quit my teaching job at the univ. and teach online until I get better. I miss being around people though. Resting gets lonely. As irritable as I get though, don’t think people will want me around.

Things have really gotten confusing through the months. One day I’m up another I’m down. Earlier I was sure I wasn’t really sick and then I was depressed over being sick. One day I was working and tears started to flow for no reason. I just want to be me again.

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